Central Pennsylvania Nesties
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Newbie Nestie
Hi Central PA Nesties. I can tell that this site is awesome, but I'm so swamped with wedding planning I haven't had time to really look at everything.
Could someone tell me if there is a good "How to deal with Mother In Law" board on here?
Do I have to join or can I just post to any board?
Lastly, does the Central PA board ever have any meet-ups or outings that are arranged? I need to build a social life in my new neighborhood.
Thanks senior nesties! I'm excited to join!!
RockaBetty
[Poll]
Re: Newbie Nestie
Welcome to the board. We do have GTG's, just watch for announcements. Where in Central PA do you live?
Also, I'm not really understanding your question? What is the situation?
Hi! Thanks for responding so soon. I am not very good at posting to boards. We just bought a house in northern York, PA close to Emigsville.
I guess I was just trying to create a poll to see what others thought about the fact that my new mother in law kisses my husband's wedding ring. I, personally, think it is bizarre (and it is only one of the many strange things she does that make me uncomfortable). I wanted to see if others advise me to confront her, talk to him or stay out of it.
Thanks so much for your guidance!!!!
Welcome!
I'm new too but working my way around! When are you getting married?
I would seriously just ignore it. If it REALLY bothers you, talk to your H about it.
I live in York too... about 10 mins away from Emigsville. Our vet is in Emigsville. There will be a York GTG in July. Not sure of the date yet, but I am hosting it so just keep watching for announcements.
Welcome to the neighborhood! I am up the road in Manchester.
That is very bizzare. I would ask your DH what he thinks about it.
Hey there, welcome to the board! There are GTGs, just keep checking back to see when/where they are.
As to the MIL thing, I think it is strange. I would just say something to the husband, ask if there is a reason behind it, how he feels about it, etc. In the relm of bad things MILs could do kissing his ring is pretty low on the list, at least IMHO. You might just let it go and try to ignore her doing it.
Welcome!
Yes we try to have at least one GTG a month. Stay tuned for details.
There isn't a separate MIL board. Once you join, like you have you can post on any board. The local ones tend to be nicer. many of the national boards can get a bit snarky and often don't stick to topic.
As for you MIL... I agree it's a bit odd. Could it be a cultural thing? I"m assuming dh's ring is not one that had been in the family, so it doesn't hold any sentiment? Maybe it's just her way of wishing a happy healthy marriage.
Welcome!
About your MIL, I agree it's weird but I wouldn't bring it up with her. I would talk to your H about it.
Welcome to the board!
I agree with the pp, talk to your DH about it to get his understanding and reaction to it. I also find this very odd, but if it only happened once or has cultural meaning, that could make more sense. If it continues and he becomes really uncomfortable, then he could decide whether or not to talk to her. GL!?
Hi all,
This is a response to many nesties who gave me advice about my MIL kissing my DH's wedding ring. I'm not sure how to reply to everybody all at once. I"m sure it's easy and I'm just missing something. So, I am just re-posting. I need to learn how to do this...LOL :-)
Thank you so very much for your sincere insight and advice. I was pleasantly surprised to get so much feedback.
Here are the details.Even though my future-DH and I are having a wedding on June 20th, the ring is already on his finger. We had our legal wedding ceremony at the lake where he proposed because my best friend is marrying us June 20th and she is not quite finished law school so not legally recognized in PA yet to sign licenses. We weren't going to wear our rings, but the little lake ceremony felt very real and we meant what we said, so we started wearing our rings. So, even though the wedding is coming up, we already have our rings on.
Coincidentally, her other son just got married on May 16th. To straighten out confusion: My DH and I got "legally" married April 18, her older son was married May 16th, our "wedding" (white dress, cake, etc) is on June 20th.
The first time that I saw her kiss his ring was one evening between our legal marriage and her other son's wedding. She grabbed his hand and laid a big noisy smooch on his ring. Then, she looked right at me and said "I kiss his ring every day!" (He goes over there to help them a lot since his father got sick). I honestly couldn't tell you my initial reaction. I was so thrown off!!
I talked to my future SIL (My DH's brother's fiance). She said it was bizarre but did not surprise her since our MIL is very invasive. I used to joke that if she could crawl into bed with us, she would. She joins in on hugs (if my DH is standing with his arms around me, she walks over and wraps her arms around both of us and coos "isn't this so nice?!"). She says really bizarre things like, "Oh you two are so in love." I'd like to get her psychoanalyzed to see what she really means because, knowing her, I'm sure it is not as innocent and loving as she wants me to think it is. I think it is something profoundly wrong psychologically.
Then, on her other son's wedding day, during family photos at the front of the church, she kissed his ring, too! Everybody turned to look at my SIL and she was stunned. It is not a family tradition or a cultural practice. She is Oedipal and very odd.
Here is another example - hold onto your hats!! Before my DH and I were even living together (we had been together for about 6 months), she bought me a breast pump. Oh, yes. You read that right - a breast pump!!!
I don't know what to do with this woman. She honestly creeps me out!!!
As one post said, of all the things she could be doing, ring kissing and breast pump buying is pretty mild. At least she is not being hateful - if anything she is too loving. She's loving to the point of creepy.
A lot of you asked it was a family ring or a cultural tradition. It is neither. They are just plain old American and I bought him the ring so it really has nothing to do with her at all. It's a symbol of our relationship, not of her relationship with him and I feel like she is trying to put her mark on it, so to speak. It's almost as if she wants him to think of HER when he sees it and not of me!
I could go on and on for hours, but that is really more bashing her and I do just want advice about how to handle this crazy woman before I have kids and things really go nutty.
Again, thanks so much for the insight!!
Oh great, I hope it is not the week of our honeymoon, because it might be fun to go!!
Thanks much!!