Same-Sex Households
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Would you be offended?
Today a co-worker noticed a wedding picture on my desk and commented "I thought gay marriage wasn't legal in this state?" my response was "it's not", this followed with her saying "OH so you just had a PRETEND wedding?" After my initial shock and thinking I can't believe she seriously just said that, I explained to her that though our marriage is not legal in this state it is in no way "pretend". Just curious would this have offended you and how would you have responded?
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Married my best friend 5*15*2008 Trying to start our family 8*2011
unmedicated iui#3= bfp 10/20/11! beta#1=11, beta#2=85, beta#3=741,beta#4=1000,beta#5=2146,beta#6=7454 *please keep doubling*
Re: Would you be offended?
of course I'd be offended! that was 100% rude. you responded in a much nicer way that I would have - kudos to you for keeping your cool.
unfortunately we got a lot of the "but i thought gay marriage wasnt legal" stuff too, but no one was ever so rude as to say our wedding was pretend.
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Well you are certainly a bigger person that I am to stay so calm in the face of pure stupidity and meanness!
Yes...I would have been totally offended but as a PP stated...some people just have no clue how to discuss the subject in an acceptable, kind way.
The commitment you have made to each other is no more pretend than any other marriage. And frankly, from my point of view, is even MORE real as YOU are deciding to make a lifetime commitment and no piece of paper or preacher or judge has any say in it at all!
Yeah....it would have really burned my butt if they had said that to me! (Can you tell!?!?) haha
I think you responded beautifully by turning her ignorant question into a teaching moment.
Her comment was completely innappropriate especially in the workplace. Even if she didn't mean it maliciously (I do agree with PP that some people truly are that clueless - some people really don't know that there is a difference between the piece of paper from the government and a ceremony/wedding), it was still entirely out of line.
And yes, I would feel offended/angry to hear someone refer to my wedding as "pretend." Great job handling it - and hopefully your coworker learned something from you.
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
i would have been like listen here its not pretend and some day soon it will be legal and i will have the same rights as you . and untill then you can kiss my b*tt
Love it.
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
I would (want to) say something along the lines of, "Well, many people feel that legal and social/religious marriage should be separated. While I think that all people should be entitled to the same rights and protections of legal marriage unfortunately that isn't the case in our state yet. My wife and I currently have a legal domestic partnership, but we also chose to have a social/spiritual wedding ceremony in my church with our community. It, and our marriage, are very real, and it's offensive to have it called pretend."