Clicky Poll: Just a word?

Two*True

My dialogue with my friend has got me thinking and I'm curious to see how this board lines up.  I know I've chatted with IRL friends about this and the opinions vary greatly. 
[Poll]

ctbride08

see, its not just the state and federal rights i'm concerned about - the word marriage matters and as long as we are using different words, there is room for discrimination (seperate will never be equal).  For example, a couple years ago CT had civil unions. supposedly they granted all the same rights as marriages but under a different word. DW's employer offered benefits to employees and married spouses.  her coworker (who had a civil union) applied for benefits for herself and her wife.  They were denied b/c they were not "married". The couple ended up having to spend $350/month for a private health insurance plan for the wife when they should have been covered.

All of the nightmares that arose out of civil unions showed that the word matters, and I can't settle for anything less than marriage.

Two*True

ctbride08:

see, its not just the state and federal rights i'm concerned about - the word marriage matters and as long as we are using different words, there is room for discrimination (seperate will never be equal).  For example, a couple years ago CT had civil unions. supposedly they granted all the same rights as marriages but under a different word. DW's employer offered benefits to employees and married spouses.  her coworker (who had a civil union) applied for benefits for herself and her wife.  They were denied b/c they were not "married". The couple ended up having to spend $350/month for a private health insurance plan for the wife when they should have been covered.

I agree.  For the sake of my question though was hoping we could suspend reality and assume that all the rights were the same AND they got recognized. 

ctbride08

I see - i was thinking just federal and state rights would be equal which leads me to be concerned about the ways private companies could/would discriminate.

 either way, though, as a citizen who pays equal taxes and contributes equally to our society, i want 100% equality - including the word.

thiswillbe

I've come into this poll twice now without being able to choose between the first two. I'd like to say that I wouldn't settle for anything less than full equality, but really if someone said "here's your choice: option 'B' or nothing", I'd be sooooo tempted to take the rights and run!

This is a good poll. I'll have to go think about it more and come back to vote.

nevr2amazin

Full equality... definitely FULL EQUALITY. (I guess that tells you how I voted... )

 

leapgirl8

Here's what it comes down to for me:?

I am married.

I am not domestic partnered or civil unioned. I am not something that sounds like a legal document. I am something that sounds like a family. And anything less than that is just a BS compromise to make other people feel better at the expense of not only my rights, but my dignity.??

Foodielicious

Would your answer change if EVERYONE got civil unions?

In Germany (I think), everyone has a civil union, it's the only thing recognized legally.  Marriage is a religious rite, and many people have marriage ceremonies in a place of worship, but in order to be recognized by the state, everyone must have a civil union.

rikkiandjulie

Foodielicious:

Would your answer change if EVERYONE got civil unions?

In Germany (I think), everyone has a civil union, it's the only thing recognized legally.  Marriage is a religious rite, and many people have marriage ceremonies in a place of worship, but in order to be recognized by the state, everyone must have a civil union.

i support this.

ctbride08

Foodielicious:

Would your answer change if EVERYONE got civil unions?

yup - i fully support that model. what i dont support is the gay community having different or separate rights from the straight community.  i want total equality. if that means everyone has civil unions -  fine.  but I dont see that happening here any time soon, if ever.