Why does this bother me?

meggiednm

There's a few things actually...

DH and i are heading up to NH for a friend's surprise baby shower on 4th of July weekend. But now the surprise is ruined by her sister (whoops!) so the husband of the soon-to-be-baby is asking if DH wants to go golfing with him while the ladies 'ooh' and 'aah' over baby stuff. I *know* the invitation had both mine and DH's name on it, making me believe that it's a co-ed shower. And if the shower had stayed a surprise, i believe that the husband would have showed up (for whatever reason they enticed them over) and he would stayed. But now that he knows, he'd rather go golfing. I would really like DH to come to the shower too, since we were both invited. I don't know my friend's family, but i'd be able to handle myself without him. What's bothering me is the husband's attitude. Like 'i got you pregnant with my seed, you're welcome, where's my golf clubs?'. DH feels the same way, but i'm leaving it up to him if he goes to the shower or goes golfing...and i know he's leaning towards golf. I shouldn't be bothered by this cuz our friend (the husband) is kind of a jerk and knows he is.

Then...

DH and i were talking last night after he got home from rehearsal and he off-handedly tells me that his ex emailed him recently and he emailed her back. I literally stopped crocheting and was like 'why is she emailing you? Why did you email her back? How does she have your email?'. Turns out she has some wack-a-do idea for a play and wanted to give it to him. (he's like 'uh...thanks...') And i think she's done this before... But still! Exes are exes for a reason.

That's all. For today. I'm sure something else will bother me tomorrow.

lawby2005

On the first point about the guys playing golf, I wouldnt get too bothered about it. I think a lot of guys in the first place would much rather hang out, play golf and talk about whatever it is they talk about, than sit around admiring onesies and listening to babytalk. Unless of course, the shower is going to be far cooler than that. If the host invited both you and DH maybe it is going to be cooler?.. knowing that they have a co-ed guest list? but as much as I love going to showers, I can understand if my DH wants to hang out with other guys chilling.

The second point about the ex contacting him would bother me. Not that I don't trust my husband but these days you really cannot trust some people's motives. I guess it depends on the relationship they had, how it ended etc. Its not a one-size fits all kind of situation, as long as you let DH know how you feel and he keeps his smarts about him...I am sure it will not be anything to get worked up about. Still I hate when exes just butt in. Move on, there is a reason you are an ex, and further, there are other people she could have pitched her ideas too right?!?! At least he told you about it, so its not like he is going behind your back or something...and some people do have good relations with their exes.

Tomorrow is gonna be a better day, you'll see.

847Christine

I would have felt odd having DH with me for my shower, so I wouldn't get too bothered about him choosing to go play golf rather than going to a shower.

As for the ex thing... that might bother me.  I think it would depend on who the ex was. DH never had any serious relationships before me, so I will never really have to worry about it from that end, but I've stayed friends w/guys I dated but only b/c I was the one who chose to let it be that way.  The 2 guys from my past that I'm not friends with would stir things up if they contacted me now & I'm sure they know that.  So, if she's coming up w/excuses to contact him, it's probably b/c she wants to stir up drama.

dnagal

Baby Shower-  I can't stand them myself, so I'd never force DH to go to one with me.

EX- be happy he told you about it and leave it at that. He replied because he's a nice guy.