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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
raising kids in the city
I just have a question for anyone raising a child in the Lincoln Park area, or any other big city. DH thinks it is such a bad idea for us to relocate from Florida to Chicago but I think it would be fine. He's scared that DS won't do well there since there's really no homes that have yards and "kids just aren't meant to be in big cities". Please tell me your experiences. I am so trying to convince him. Thanks!
Re: raising kids in the city
I don't have kids so I'm not qualified to convince you one way or the other, but I do have a few friends that attempted to raise children in the city. Within the first five years they all had moved to the suburbs. I lived in the city for many years and would never raise a child in it (unless maybe it was Gladstone Park or Edison Park-those areas tend to feel less like city living).
Their biggest complaint (I knew one couple from Lincoln Park, the other three were in the Lakeview, River North, and Wrigley areas) was that they didn't feel the kids had enough room. I don't think the necessarily meant outside (all though none of them had yards) but what they could afford in those areas of the city didn't provide enough inside or outside space for the kids. They couldn't really play outside because there really wasn't a yard for them and playing in the front could potentially be dangerous due to quite a bit of traffic in the areas they were in.
Getting around was also a huge issue. They didn't own cars because it can be insanely difficult to park (or expensive) and they couldn't take the risk that street parking would be blocks away when they've got kids and strollers to cart into the house. I walked everywhere when I lived in the city but I'm told it can be somewhat more difficult hiking around town with three kids, a double stroller, and a overloaded diaper bag in hand.
My one friend also complained about bar traffic and partying in Lincoln Park.
They are all happily settled in houses now (mostly the western burbs) and now the kids have big yards to play in, lots of friends that live on their blocks (most of their neighbors didn't have kids-so that was also an issue) and playgrounds, swimming pools, etc. everywhere. Transportaton is easier with street parking available and driveways, garages, etc. They also have much more space as money tends to go further in some of the burbs than in the city. They don't have access to all the fun city things (museums, Lincoln Park Zoo, the lake, etc) but it is easier to take them in for a day than to cart them around the city constantly.
I'm not trying to convince you not to live in the city...I loved it and if it wasn't for DH hating the city, I wanted to be buried in my Wicker Park apartment. Just wanted to give you some of the complaints people close to me had before they finally gave in and moved to the suburbs.
I have 2 children, ages 4 and 17 months, and I live in the city, in a condo (but not in Lincoln Park). As my husband is a CPS teacher with a residency requirement, we will be raising our children in the city for the forseeable future. Besides, I'm allergic to commuting.
Seriously, it can be done, and pretty easily. The most difficult aspect is navigating the school situation. There are lots of playlots and bigger parks, as well as libraries, etc.
It does, however, take money. Daycare is expensive (for my little guy it's $250 a week without extended hours). Babysitters are outrageous--upwards of $10 an hour. Neighborhoods with good, established neighborhood (not magnet) schools are pricey. A car is very, very helpful (we have 1--I take the CTA). Traffic can be hellish--especially with a screaming baby in the car.
Truthfully, it's all about the life you want to lead--the urban vs the suburban. Tradeoffs exist to either.
I'll share with you the post someone left for me on another, unrelated post about buying a house. I'm not necessarily saying I agree with all her points, but it's food for thought about raising kids in the city. I still am planning on it, but hopefully this will help you think it through with all the downsides.
(I was posting on the Buying a Home board about buying a non-forever home b/c I planned to raise kids in the city until they got old enough for kindergarden and this was a response.)
"My DH and I currently rent in Chicago and we love it! There is never a dull moment. There are tons of restaurants, shops, bars, festivals, the beach and lake is amazing, the museums are top notch, and there are unlimited amount of things to see and go! I would never have missed this chance to live in Chicago.
However, we do not buy in the city because we cannot afford it. We are planning on moving to the suburbs within the next year and buying a home to raise children in. I personally do not think anyone should raise a child (or children) in a city unless you can afford it. It is SO expensive. Just living costs alone are much more expensive in the city, let alone costs for raising a child. A parking spot alone is an expensive monthly payment, just to park one car! When I have a child I do not want to worry about finding a spot to park my car, in 2 feet of snow, and having to walk blocks away carrying a newborn. And that is only if you have one car. If you have two, which with a child we would because if my DH has the car and I have to take the baby to a doctor, we will need another car, all of the costs double. Also, our car insurance doubled when we moved to the city too. Its how they calculate risk compared to where you live. Our car as dings on it from parking in the city. Yes, there is public transportation - but I would never bring my baby on the el if I didnt have to. Grocery shopping in the city is much more expensive than in the suburbs, taxes (of all kinds) are outrageous, and gas is always MUCH more expensive in the city. When I have children I want to have a back yard, a sidewalk they can ride bikes on, and a quiet home where they can take naps. The city is very loud. The el, traffic, people always walking by, dogs always barking (in the condo next door), parties going on, ambulence sirens down the street - and in the city it is VERY tight living quarters (since it is a city) there is a lot more noise than living in a neighborhood where things are spread out. Oh, running to Target or the grocery store is NOT easy. You have to fight traffic, fight for a parking spot, and just driving there is difficult. Or you can walk, but will you in the winter with 2 feet of snow on the ground? Also, many places do not even have parking in the city, you have to find garage parking (and pay such as $18 for 1 hour) and then walk to your destination or you have to valet park (again, which costs money). I dont mean to discourage you - but you should look at EVERY little thing before you buy something in the city, and have kids in the city. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE living and renting in Chicago - but I would never buy in a large city.
I would suggest renting for a while so you can determine where you want to live in the city (every neighborhood is different), and decide if you want to raise children in the city, before you commit to buying. Just my suggestion.
PS) I didnt even mention child day care in the city, and fighting the traffic of dropping off the kids during rush hour, etc... You dont see a lot of families raising children in the city for all of the reasons I listed above, unless they have a lot of money. Also, private schools in the city are like paying a college tuition and you do not want your kids to go to public city school. I think you would move on before you got to this point, but you said it would be around 5 years, so this is another thing to consider, especially if you did get "stuck". So again, before you commit to buying in the city, think of what your timeline is like with having children, etc... and think if this is something you can do while living in the city. I am so glad my DH and I moved here over 3 years ago and we have enjoyed it so much (and renting)! But again, we are going to move out of the city to buy a home and to start a family. I would never buy in the city for all of these reasons and to have children living in the city, and its just too expensive to own a decent place in the city (again, unless you have a lot of money). The condos/homes are not large in the city and that is another thing you need when you have kids... sq. footage. "
Twink, that was a good post!
I always thought I'd raise my kids in the city, till I met DH & his dog. The dog is going crazy in our 1 bedroom condo, I can only imagine how a kid (& all the stuff that comes with having a kid) would feel.
For the price of a brand new 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath, 2 car garage house just NW of O'Hare (2700 sq ft), we would only be able to get a 2 bedroom 1.5 bath, no parking spot condo (1300 sq ft) in Ravenswood, Edgewater, or Lincoln Square. Lincoln Park is much more expensive than that.
We looked at a 3 bedroom, 2 bath walk up (6 units, 3 on each side) and that was about $350k in Ravenswood about 3 blocks from the metra. That would be perfect but our monthly payments would be way more than we want to pay! Oh, and a parking spot was $10k!
So as soon as we sell DH's condo, we are headed out NW to a house with a yard.
As I said, it's all about the lifestyle you want, and what your values are.
Yes, I could have a ton more space in an exurb. BUT I'd never see my kids awake, because I'd be commuting. And I would have to shell out for a second car--a depreciating asset. Not to mention the increase in my carbon footprint.
Twink's post represents a single viewpoint and a single set of values. It's not my experience.
I take my kids on the bus and El all the time--they love it (especially the El). I picked a doctor I can take my kids to by walking (if the weather's good ) or easy CTA ride. My older son's school is 3 blocks from our house.
This past winter, I walked my son to school with my 1-year-old in an Ergo. Through all the snow. Yes, it's a workout, but it's not THAT bad.
I live in a relatively quiet, unhip neighborhood, in a 3-bedroom condo. I have a garage, but can usually park right out front if I wanted to. We have a yard and a playlot at the end of the street. Yeah, you can hear the El and sirens occasionally, but my kids sleep through it.
I know my neighbors. The kids all play outside. It can be done.
We don't have kids right now but would die before moving to a suburb to raise them. ?We want them exposed to the numerous gems the city has to offer both tangible and non-tangible. ?There are parks, playlots, the zoo, the museums, the lakefront, the various neighborhoods, the food, the different ethnic groups, and on and on. ?Plus, the CTA is the great equalizer and I think riding that can be a GREAT tool to teach kids the value of environmentalism (the world does not revolve around the newest SUV) and basic human dignity. ?Everyone here will likely ride the bus or EL at some point - from the wealthy commuting to their Loop office to the homeless man trying to stay warm or cool in the seasons. ?
Will it be easy? ?Probably not and I'm sure at some point or another I'll be found cursing up a storm under my breath about it, but at the end of the day we'll be choosing to live a life and pass on those values to our children. ??
Bravo! I totally agree with your reference to how much greener living in a big city is! That's actually one of the main reasons I never would live in a suburb where I would have to have a huge car, a chemically treated lawn and a huge house that is way too big anyway.
So glad to see DH and I are not alone in our views!! ?Some days I truly feel after talking with people that everybody's dream is to live out in the burbs in the 1950's version of the American dream. ?While I admit to judging the dream itself I know there are a variety of reasons that people choose this and don't (or try very hard not to) judge the people but it is just the most foreign concept to me. ?: )
It's refreshing to find out that yes, other people do feel the same way. ?
That was my post! Haha! And I would have re-typed the entire thing again for this post. It is just my personal opinion. Of course I love the cultural here in Chicago, and everything it offers, for me and my DH as a young couple, and would never have passed up living here. But when raising kids can have its own challenges of its own, I'd rather not add in the traffic, the parking, the increased costs of raising them in the city, the lack of space, and everything else I mentioned, into the mix. At the end of the day, I will take the backyard for the kids to play in, the drive way to park in, the extra space, and the smaller mortgage payments. Many of you said "it can be done" to raise kids in the city. I guess if I had to do it, it could be done, but I dont want to live in a "had to do it, it can be done" type of feeling. I want that more stress free living than I feel the city can provide.
So... since this post isnt just about living in a large city, its about raising kids in a large city, that is what my opinion is all about.