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marrying your first girlfriend. A liability?
Hi lovelies, sorry for the long post. My question is, do you think the amount of dating experience (LGBT or otherwise) before marriage will make or break a relationship? Does it matter? Would you marry your first girlfriend?
The backstory: My best friend, R, is in a relationship with a newly minted lesbian, S. They've been together for about 8 months, are crazy in love, and my friend is hoping they'll get married. This is S's first relationship with a woman, and second serious relationship ever (she's in her 40s). My friend has had several relationships prior to this. They are really cute together and my friend had a huge crush on this woman for years before the girlfriend came out and they got together. S is a really perfect, magical kind of match for my friend.
The problem is, my friend is really worried this relationship won't work b/c of S's inexperience. She's petrified the S will eventually want to try out the broader world of gorgeous girls. This fear is reinforced by the fact that this is exactly what we've both seen happen to all of our friends. No one stays with their first girlfriend, it's like a lesbian curse. So I'm wondering if you ladies have any thoughts on this situation. I figured this board probably represents centuries of combined qu33r knowledge and I've been talking of nothing else for weeks now. Thanks in advance for your help!
Re: marrying your first girlfriend. A liability?
Well, I married my first girlfriend and we've been together for 9 years and married 6 years. I went on a few dates with other girls but had very limited experience. L had had 2 long term (female) partners (one 2 years and one 6.5 years) and a few long term (male) partners.
I also think that you know yourself better in your 40s than you do in your 20s and are more sure about what you want. Ultimtely, I don't think it really matters if it is girlfriend #1 or #101 - it is the connection with that person and the desire to be with that person and only that person (if that is the type of relationship that you choose.)
Not only did I marry my first girlfriend, but DW was my first serious relationship. Aside from a couple sloppy adolescent kisses, she's the only person I've ever "tried out"
And I can tell you without the slightest hesitation that I woudnt want it any other way. Have I casually wondered what it would be like to kiss or date another person? Sure. But I also really like that my wife is the person with whom I've shared all my firsts.
If R and S are each other's perfect match, then the amount of prior experience won't matter. I promise it can work....we'll be celebrating our 10 year anniversary in a couple months
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
If it works, it works
S was my first real relationship with a woman and I was S's second. I would say if it works it works esp. if the women are older. You just know what works for you by that point.
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
I think that regardless of the gender of the person you are with, if it's right, it's going to work. When you feel that little "click" in your own heart of the other person being the one who fits you perfectly, you never look back.....
GL to your friends!
I am LOL at the Freshly Minted Lesbian comment. I keep picturing her getting a "stamp" of approval!
I say it doesn't matter the orientation. If it is supposed to be it will be. If not, it won't. Straights can always choose to also look for the more beautiful...on the outside... it's what's inside the person that matters...