Twist on the A/B list...

Huskerfanz

So my friend is getting married July 18th and there have been a lot of things that she has chosen to do with her wedding that I haven't agreed with.  Here is the latest:

My family was invited to the reception only.  (She had three invites: ceremony and reception, reception only, and dance only.)  They RSVPed yes to their reception only invite and then a week or so ago received another invite that said something about upon review of their guest list, they decided they would indeed like to have my family attend the ceremony (aka not enough A listers said yes so they were bumped up to the ceremony guest list.).  Has anyone heard of people doing this?

jquirke9881

I am sure people have done it but I have never met anybody that actually made an announcement quite like that.  I would be so offended.  Although, I probably would not attend a wedding at all if I was only formally invited to to one part and not another.

bayhunter6

That's so rude! One of my friends got married a couple years ago and my parents were invited to the ceremony only. They declined.

lorimw1

Huskerfanz:

(She had three invites: ceremony and reception, reception only, and dance only.) 

This I do not understand at all! 

futuremrsschulze

That is just crazy, not to mention completely rude!  I have never heard of doing anything like this....some people have a lot of nerve

Sarah05102009

Totally tacky. I'd decline and have no problem explaining to the couple why I declined, if asked. 

me2rean

Never come across anything like that, and I agree that is ridiculous!

Huskerfanz

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who thinks she is crazy!

 

I don't understand the dance only part either.  That makes absolulely no sense and comes off as gift grabby. 

joeysgirl2008

Wow....that is rude!

aravis227

That's actually really common here.  A lot of it is that there are so many mormons and ther wedding ceremony is held in private, but a lot of other people do it, too.  One of my coworkers actually asked me in an incredulous voice "so you're inviting people to the actual ceremony, too?" I never really thought of it as rude.  Some people feel that is a really private thing, whether it's for religious or personal reasons.  It's really just a big party anyway, the ceremony itself is most important to the couple and their family, not so much for everyone else. 

Huskerfanz

aravis227:

That's actually really common here.  A lot of it is that there are so many mormons and ther wedding ceremony is held in private, but a lot of other people do it, too.  One of my coworkers actually asked me in an incredulous voice "so you're inviting people to the actual ceremony, too?" I never really thought of it as rude.  Some people feel that is a really private thing, whether it's for religious or personal reasons.  It's really just a big party anyway, the ceremony itself is most important to the couple and their family, not so much for everyone else. 

Huskerfanz

aravis227:

That's actually really common here.  A lot of it is that there are so many mormons and ther wedding ceremony is held in private, but a lot of other people do it, too.  One of my coworkers actually asked me in an incredulous voice "so you're inviting people to the actual ceremony, too?" I never really thought of it as rude.  Some people feel that is a really private thing, whether it's for religious or personal reasons.  It's really just a big party anyway, the ceremony itself is most important to the couple and their family, not so much for everyone else. 

Huskerfanz

aravis227:

Some people feel that is a really private thing, whether it's for religious or personal reasons.  It's really just a big party anyway, the ceremony itself is most important to the couple and their family, not so much for everyone else. 

Sorry about the dup posts!  Computer was loading funny.

Anyway, I've heard of having a small, intimate ceremony and then a bigger reception and understand that in some cases. 

This is not one of those cases though, they invited enough to fill the church (200ish) but couldn't fit the 500+ they invited to the reception.

Sarah05102009

I think what bothers me most about it is the difference between "reception" and "dance." What does that mean? Some people get to eat dinner and some don't at the same party? 

shexmix

Yeah, what Sarah G said.  At embassy parties and such, you can pay to attend the regular party (dancing, drinks, maybe desserts), or you can pay for an additional dinner served an hour or two earlier as well.  It makes sense in that context.

 But for a wedding????  Wow.

acp927

Yeah the reception list and dance list weird me out too, like Sarah said, does that mean some people don't get to eat but can come to dance? If so, that's really sad.

Huskerfanz

Yep, pretty sure that means people are invited to dance and no food.  The worst part is after seeing her timeline, there is no way that people will be done eating (or even going through the line) before the dance.  So, people will show up while people are eating.

aravis227

Huskerfanz:

Yep, pretty sure that means people are invited to dance and no food.  The worst part is after seeing her timeline, there is no way that people will be done eating (or even going through the line) before the dance.  So, people will show up while people are eating.

I missed this somehow in the original post. That is definitely weird and plain rude.

annabear07

So how did they divide their guest list?? I like you the most so you get to come to everything, I like you some you get to eat and dance, I like you just enough to acknowledge your existence, you get to just dance!

 Never heard of this before and I'm very curious to hear their reasoning for it (especially the no dinner only dancing group)!

Huskerfanz

annabear07:

So how did they divide their guest list??

 

I have no clue on how they divided the ceremony and food vs just food.  It couldn?t have been family only to the ceremony as they don?t have 200+ in their families so it had to have been how much they liked them.  I believe the dance only part was for co-workers but not sure if things changed after she told me that.

MuseumMaven

It's fine to invite people to the ceremony and not the reception, or the reception and not the ceremony.  But sending out a "room now available?" notice?  Inviting people to the reception but not feeding them?  TACKY.

alliandrashad

I actually laughed out loud when I read ...dance only.

How sad, people would be so vain.