Same-Sex Households
Two*True
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday
Updates anyone?
QOTD: How are you (did you) deciding what last name your child will (does) have? If you and your DW/SO/DH already have the same last name will you try to honor your maiden (or family name) in another way?
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Re: PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday
Update: Not much. We have another 8 days until beta. K and I talked about testing early and once again she won the battle and doesn't want to test. All in all though I'm not really feeling one way or another about this cycle. I'm not too hopeful but I'm not sad about it either. We'll just wait and see.
QOTD: Since I took K's last name this really isn't an issue for us. I want to recognize my dad's family somewhere in the name but I don't know how yet.
Update: about half way through the 2ww. We'll test sometime early next week. the wait seems to be going (relatively) quickly this time which is quite a relief. i'm really hoping for that bfp.
fostering: waiting. lots and lots. i'm considering filing a complaint with the commisioner and/or ombudsman. but that certainly wouldnt make me any friends.
QOTD: The babe (and any future adopted children) will have our last name - I'm not planning on incorporating my maiden name at all. But, I'm all about using family names as middles so theres a chance a middle name may be inspired by someone on my side.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
We all know my update...all to well...I am going home today which is really going to be hard. Trying not to cry just typing it. I also repeat this is what is best for Ella so she can be big and strong....over and over. I must say it has not worked quite yet!
Ella has my last name. There are no male offspring of my generation with my last name (even with cousins) that are having babies so we wanted to keep that name being passed down. S has a nephew with her last name already. If the baby was a boy we were going to give him S's last name as a middle name. Since it is Alley the name Ella Alley seemed a bit much to us!
Nothing terribly exciting to report. Carter seems to be feeling better after being on antibiotics since Monday. Seems like Grayson and L are now getting it. Lovely. I am still exhausted from waking up with Carter coughing during the night. Last night a dumped a 1/2 bottle of honey based homeopathic cough medicine all over their/guest bath while trying to pour him some at 3am. Of course since my ILs are staying with us, I had to go get cleaner and clean it up. Sigh.
QOTD: The boys' last name is hyphenated. Neither of us have changed our names, but wanted them to have both of our last names. Thankfully, we both have really short last names that go well together. We chose the order on what sounded better (mine is first, hers second.)
How did the nanny shadowing go yesterday?
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
Our current nanny said is was awkward - which I understand. Not only had they never met, but they had to spend 8.5 hours hanging out/talking. She said by noon, they had really talked about everything and were out of small talk. I hope they come up with with new topics since they are doing it 5 more times in the next two weeks (we really want to have as seamless transition as possible and for the boys to really trust her and know her.)
We asked our current nanny to write some observations about each of the boys and their day to day life. What she wrote was incredibly sweet and made me cry. I know that they will be fine with the new nanny and end up loving her, but not having the person they have been with nearly every day for 3 years suddenly not be there is going to be rough. I signed up for Skype last night so they can at least see each other via the computer.
Man, I must be PMSing. I am bawling just writing this.
omg, so we tried the stethoscope thing last night. we couldn't hear anything yet, but while i was holding it there he gave a really big kick right where it was and the stethoscope boounced! it was so funny and cool! and then we just stayed there for a while and i put my hand on her belly to feel him moving.
qotd: this has actually been a bit of an issue for us lately, to the point where we haven't really been able to talk about it without one of us getting upset. usually me. she just assumed that eventually i would take her name--and maybe i did too, but i've been surprised by the strength of my emotions about my name. we're both having trouble with the idea of giving ours up, but we don't like the idea of not sharing a name with our child(ren). we've brought up the idea of hyphenating, but we're not thrilled with how they go together with her italian and my german. we've tried coming up with something by combining our names, but haven't come up with anything that we like--and frankly, since we're both so reticent to give up our own name for the other's, i highly doubt we would ever come up with something else that we would be willing to give them up for. i have no idea what to do.
Update: Not much. We chose our donor and I'm mailing our registration with the bank today. Found out this week that insurance covered our iui consult, so we'll be getting a refund check in the mail (YAY!!). I've been really pleasantly surprised by the regularity of my cycles off bcp thus far, and I'm just praying they'll stay this way!
QOTD: I took Cecilia's name, in large part so that we would have a family name for us and our kids. My maiden name is a whopping 12 letters long, so we will not be using it as a middle name
However, other family names are definitely on the table. Cecilia's family is big into family names, so our favorite names for a boy or girl have a family name as a middle, and our favorite girl name is a family name on my side.
sahm ~ toddler breastfeeder ~ cloth diaperer ~ baby wearer
Annie wil lbe 8 weeks tomorrow and I have no idea how we got that far already. Time does fly with a little one. I am trying to type this one handed while BFing so bear with all the typos please.
She is amazing and now finally turning into a little person with a definate personality, so that is very cool to watch. We also decided we are becoming the token lesbian family in our little community. Yesterday we went to lunch at na restaurant we hadn't been in since Annie was 2 1/2 weeks old and the waitress remembered us. Then we went over to walmart and the lady at the jewelry counter came out to see how big she was getting. I had a watch battery changed there weeks ago. Guess we are memorable.
We saddled our poor baby with both our last names leading her to a 17 letter last name. I didn't want to not use mine since she is the only grandchild for my parents with their name, and we are the last in the famil with the nasme at all. But I wanted her to have Carols last name too. Since she is mine biologically, I wanted her to have that strong tie to Carols family. In everyday use she will use Carols last name. I will hopefully be adding it to mine too after we save up some money for lawyers fees. (name changing in NJ is a ridiculous process)
~Kennedy
Peeking out of lurkdom to answer the QOTD...
Elliot has Mary's last name. It was my decision completely - in fact she was hesitant about it at first. I was anti-hyphenating (for us - not passing judgement on others) and I felt very strongly that I had my own special connection to him from carrying him and Mary should have her own special connection in their names. Also, I thought it would add credibility to their relationship with daycare, doctors, etc. while we're waiting to complete an adoption, and I think that it has. The interesting part (and why I wanted to comment) was that I've been really caught off guard by how awkward I feel that he doesn't have my name at all. I really thought it would be a non-issue, and it's not a problem at all, but I do think of it more than I expected to. It's kind of like when you get a new filling and your tooth feels different and your tongue finds it all the time. I'm just... conscious of it. Growing up, I always expected my children would have my (read: my heterosexual husband's) last name and not having that feels more different than I expected it to. Not bad, just interesting. I'm still 100% glad we made the decision we made.
Congratulations SSG! I'm so sorry you have to leave Ella in the hospital. I had a terrible time when I had to go home without Elliot so I'll be thinking of you as you make the tough drive home today.
Good luck TTCers! I hope to read good news soon!
Kendyl
Update: Maggie is 6 months. I went away without her to a wedding in London last weekend. It was really hard to be away, and luckily she did not change much in my absence and was happy to see me on my return. But since then she has had a dynamic shift. Up until now the changes have been gradual and tough to see day to day. But this week she exploded. She is about to crawl and is rocking back and forth on her hands and knees, and spending lots of time in downward dog/plank position. She is sitting up and put herself into that position from her hands and knees yesterday. But more significantly, she has had a personality shift. She is way more related and seems to know what is going on around her in a different way. She is saying sylables --- dadadada, vavavava, bababa, and hi. She had her first seperation anxiety when I left the room and left her with W. We can't believe how grown up she suddenly is!
QOFD: We went with the hypenating thing. We didn't feel it was ideal but the best choice for us. Luckily it is only 10 letters/4 sylables in total. Maggie has our hypenated name.
Kennedy -- do you and Carol have a civil union. We did our name change in NY before we moved but my impression is that you can change your name through your civil union at your town hall.
Kennedy -- do you and Carol have a civil union. We did our name change in NY before we moved but my impression is that you can change your name through your civil union at your town hall.
We do have a civil union and looked into it, they do not allow for it in NJ. It even says so on our liscence. Sucks because it involves taking out two notices in the paper, the court fee and the lawyer fee and they can still deny the request if they want to. Civil union = marriage.... not.
We have to put the money into the second parent adoption first though. Sad that NJ will recognize her as a parent, but other states don't have to when we are travelling.
~Kennedy
Monday was the day of my appointment with a urogynocologist, that I'd been waiting 3+ months for. My PCP wanted her to take a closer look at a mass inside my uterine cavity, so sent me to her for a saline infusion ultrasound. The verdict was a fibroid about 1"x3/4", which has been causing extremely heavy, painful periods. She also said that while I could possibly get pregnant, the fibroid would "almost certainly" cause a miscarriage. So I've been referred for surgery and more waiting.
QOTD: I took Holly's last name, and our children will have the same last name. I have no attachment to my "maiden" name since it is actually my stepfather's. Ren?e and I have never had the same last name (she has her father's name), but it feels strange now that there is a family last name and she's the only one without it.
I switched my name in NY and the process sounds very similar. But are you sure you need a lawyer? I was able to do all the paperwork by myself. Without the lawyer it still cost about $360 but I'm sure I saved a ton doing it on my own.
Update: Beta is tomorrow. Blood draw at 7:30 am then the agonizing wait until the phone call (between 2:00 & 4:00 pm). At S's insistence (she's become quite the POAS-pusher!), we tested yesterday evening (10dpo) and this morning (11dpo). They were both BFNs (one $tree, one digital FRER-- I hate seeing that "NO"). Still, we're keeping our hopes up because Sylvia has a good feeling about this cycle. I really, really hope she is right! I am so ready to be pregnant.
QOTD: S and I share a hyphenated last name, and our child will have it as well. My maiden name was hyphenated (my mother's and father's last names; they didn't change their names), so we dropped one part of it and then picked up S's last name. We'll probably incorporate family names-- especially from our mothers, who are not represented in our last name-- in the child's first and/or middle name.
Great QOTD, btw. You know it's a good one when it brings our busy mammas out of hiding.
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
Still in Iraq, still sucks. 135-140 degrees everyday in dusty winds. Can't wait until October.
When we get married next October Jess is taking my last name and that will be the name of our children. Their first names will be based on first names of certain family members from both sides.
TTC related updates include acupuncture and herbs that seem to be working resulting in positive opk, EWCM and CD 13/14 ovulation.
As for the name question, I changed my (formerly hyphenated) last name to the first part hyphenated with her last name. Our children will have that last name, so my last name-her last name.
Our update is that our RE appointment got bumped to next week due to the doctor having too many egg retrievals tomorrow. I was totally bummed but in the whole scheme of things it's only 1 week. I've heard great things about this particular doctor and it normally takes about 8 weeks to get in as a new patient so the fact that it will only be 2 weeks after I first called is still pretty awesome. We're pumped to see what he has to say.
QOTD: I took Jenn's last name so we will all have the same last name. I wasn't particularly attached to my last name so it was an easy decision. We will use family names as middle names though.
Congrats to ssg on the birth of her little Ella! We will be praying that she keeps growing and getting stronger everyday.