Spin-off Poll

2brides

In honor of Kim coming out to her mom...

How was coming out to your parents?  How did you do it? Any good stories (in retrospect!?!?!) When did you come out (before you were in a serious relationship? Before?)

cookiemonster03

I can't type it all out right now, but here's the short version - my mom suspected, my dad asked, and it was the longest christmas break ever. It was awful. That was alsmot 10 yrs ago though and now they're fine.

thefamilyway904

Coming out was a huge, long, horrid process for me.

I came out way later than I should have...for my own mental health especially!!! I spent way too many years consumed with the fear of disappointing my parents. I'm an only child and they sacrificed everything for me. I felt the need to sacrifice for them in return and live the life that they had always dreamed of for me....or the life I *thought* they dreamed of for me. 

It turns out that the only thing that they ever dreamed of for me is personal happiness! I finally came out to them when N and I were already together, basically when I had gotten to the point that I was so depressed that I couldn't see straight. They were wonderful then and have become two incredibly well informed advocates for equality....It's amazing! Some days I can't even comprehend how lucky I am.

ctbride08

my mom caught us (DW and I) making out on the couch and FLIPPED.  it was before I had even come to terms with my sexuality or what our relationship actually was.  There were many fights and much denial (on both sides).  It was an awful, awful, year (coincided w/ my senior year of HS) and I couldn't wait to move out of the house.  As the years passed they gradually came to terms with it and now accept A 1000% but not without some irreparable damage.

2brides

I didn't come out to my parents till L and I had been in a relationship for several months. Even though my parents live 650 miles away it was too hard to ignore L in my conversations and I was all but living with her at that point * cue joke about lesbians and U-hauls.*  One Friday I just knew I had to do it THEN. So I called home, told my mom, who in turned called to my father, "It's A, she is calling  to tell us that she is gay."

 That night they were all supportive and nice.  The next morning they called and nasty and mean.  They stayed that way for a few months and gradually came around.  Now they don't have any issues (it's been 9 years), but my dad and L are like oil and water. They couldn't be any more different and my dad doesn't understand L and L thinks my dad is an ass (which he can be.) But we still visit them and they still come see us and all is well.

Meegs10.13.06

Long story short... I was a sophomore in HS, dating my first girlfriend, and didn't want to hide it (especially since it was clear that they already suspected)... but also didn't want to have a big old heavy discussion about it. So I wrote them a letter.

They were great about it... just said that they loved me and as long as I was happy, they were happy. And that was that.

thiswillbe

I spent all of high school denying (to my parents) that I was a lesbian. They knew, though-- they banned me from seeing any girl I was dating, and my mother once got into a (verbal) fight with my gf's friend (also a lesbian) who had come to pick me up.

In college, I thought I was big and brave and decided that if they asked me again, I wouldn't deny it. When I was home on winter break my mother listened in on a phone conversation I was having with my gf. I figured out she had listened in because she cried for hours and hours that night, but I thought she was just upset because I had mentioned seeing one of the aforementioned "banned" girls while I was home. I didn't put two and two together until I woke up and saw a note from my mom saying that she and dad wanted to take me out to dinner that night.

She ended up deciding to send my dad to do her dirty work, and we sat through the whole uncomfortable meal before he finally asked me. I didn't deny it.

They did not take it well, to say the least. They decided they wouldn't pay for college anymore (since I was "using it to meet girls"), and we entered a period of being quite estranged. My mom actually did the whole shake-your-hand, "have a nice life" thing when I was 17.

Things have gotten better over the years (we talk sporadically now, and I see them 1-3 times a year), but our relationships are still strained. It makes me so sad because I used to be really, really close with my dad. Neither of them attended our wedding.

I hear stories all the time about parents "coming around" (and I think it is great that some parents do), but I'm 32 now and honestly, I'm not holding my breath any more.

madisonpeas

TWB- I just wanted you to know that you are not alone...I suppose my parents have improved, yet I think they have maxed out on how much they are going to improve.  They did not come to our ceremony despite my best efforts to plan just how to ask and just how to answer their questions.  My dad is pretty much going with whatever - my mom's the hold out.  I worry about when we eventually have baby news for them....they better not ef it up, as I keep saying...anyway, it has been 15 years for me and I wish I could say they have come around.

jayangel

When I first came out to my mom I was 16, she had already suspected it because of the group of friends (also lesbians) that I was constantly hanging out with. She actually asked me a few times but I continued to deny it until one night we were home alone and I felt like I just had to do it. She was cooking dinner and reaching into the oven to get a pan out of the oven I took that as my opening I just said "Mommy I'm gay ". I remember her dropping the whole pan of food back into the oven then asking me to repeat myself I guess she couldn't believe her ears. That night we cried she told me she loved and supported me no matter what, but a few days later she said lots of hateful things, forced me to call crisis hotlines, threatened to kick me out several times and didn't allow me to use the phone or go out of the house for the entire summer after my refusing to go to "rehab". I came out to her before having my first relationship which was a year later she didn't actually start to come around until about 3 years later. It's been almost 9 yrs she now realizes it's not just a phase and has pretty much come to total acceptance.

rikkiandjulie

When I told my  mom I was 13, and I was had my first girlfriend. I sat her down on the couch, and told her mom I'm gay. She just stared at me. She didn't say anything really, but was 10000% supportive. She got me aquainted with a GLBTQ&A youth group in our neighborhood. She took me to the meeting every Monday for years.

My dad didn't even bat an eye, he could of cared less either way.

This is also where I met Julie. The trouble with Julie was that she was 3 yearsolder than me, my dad didn't want me dating a senior while I was a freshman but now everyone is okie dokie. :-) My dad has said multiple times that hindsigh is 20/20.

Truly, I can't think of one person in my family that isn't supportive of Julie and I. However, it was a little bit of a hard road with Julie's dad, but he really was  one of those guys that came around.

We are really lucky.

Two*True

I told my mom about K over the phone.  None of the women prior to K were worth telling my parents my about.  My mom cried for 9 months straight but my dad was cool right off the bat. Even though my mom cried a lot she ALWAYS welcomed K into our home and bought her gifts for the holidays. At our wedding my mom had a heart to heart with K and everything is super duper.  She showed our wedding album to all her friends and since she only received two negative comments (and the people later apologized) I think she is out and comfortable with the fact her daughter married a woman.