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Living with in-laws (long)
So here we go...
Before DH I purchased a home in Coral Springs lived there for some years until DH started dating and eventually got engaged and blah blah blah I wound up moving in with DH at his place in Kendall. Because the plan was to empty out my condo to sell it since I'd make more profit out of it since I bought it for so low (back in the good ole' days) and rent his condo out since he really wouldnt make much $$ since he bought his when the prices were rising and how the market was going it definitely wouldnt sell for what he purchased it for. This way whatever profit I made from my condo would go towards a HOUSE of OUR own.
WELL... with the market the way it is that plan went to caca! My condo has not had ONE bite since i put it on the market. I dont think I can do this drive anymore (from Kendall to Boca) no I am not nuts but the job market isnt better! So we came up witht his plan... put HIS and MY condo up for rent and move in with his parents in Hialeah for now. This way we can save up more $$$ to purchase a home and my commute isnt as bad. I love my MIL but I am not sure how it will be when I am actually living there... A big part of me is really excited about it because:
1. NO MORE 2 hour commute and putting tons of miles on my car
2. Home cooked dinner every night - DH and I would eat out or order food a lot because I'd come home late or just too tired
3. I can have more energy to work out again since I wont be as tired!
4. I can visit MY parents more often since they do not live too far from the ILs
5. most importantly... SAVING TONS of MONEY!
What bums a little part of me is:
1.No privacy!
2. very little space
Anyone ever had to live with their ILs? Did your relationship change (for the worse or better?)Advice? warnings? tips? good vibes?
Re: Living with in-laws (long)
Oh hun I feel ya! As I type I wait for Dj to wake up so we can keep on packing. On thursday we move back in with my parents. Right now that we are trying to move to georgia and buy a house we can not justify spending as much as we do in rent. I feel ya in the cons but you know what it will be worth it. Granted I am sure there will be some rough times, but Dj and I have planned to book a hotel for the weekend every other month to gives us some alone time. We are lucky (you and I ) were we do have family that supports us like that, I have heard stories of parents saying nope you married you gone.
GL!
Oh girl, I've been there. We we got married, we had our house already, but it was being completely remodelled... a project we thought would take 3-4 mo. So, we rented an appt on the beach! We were loving life... until we realized the project was going to take a lot longer than we had anticipated, and could no longer afford to pay for 1) mortgage, 2) rent, and 3) construction!
So we moved into my inlaws' house. We were newleyweds, so I can relate to having wanted more privacy. However, in hindsight, if I had to do it again, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I get along with my inlaws, and when I think they are out of line, I have no problem telling them so. And I think this helped our status a lot. My inlaws realized I was probably uncomfortable, so they were very nice about the situation.
In order to spend some alone time w/ DH, we'd go out to dinner or a movie (even during the wk) just to get out of the house. For DH I think it was worse, only b/c he works w/ his dad, so he never had an outlet!
I'm sure you guys will be fine. Best of luck to you!
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
I think with the way the economy is, more couples are seeing themselves moving back in with one of the parents. Atleast, with me that was the case. DH lost his job, and there was no way we could afford our place. We had to move in with his mom. It's been about 3 months so far, but we've been lucky. Ever since we've moved in life has actually be better. Having a third person help with finances really takes a lot of pressure off. Since the majority of our arguments were about money, we no longer really fight. Our marriage has actually improved and I owe it all to my mil. She really is an angel, and I love her to death. I would do anything for that woman.
Now I'm actually afraid of moving out. We're thinking when we're ready to own a house we'll just take her with us. hehe Everynight we have a routine. We make dinner together, watch some tv, pick our outfits for the next day with accesories and all, and end the night by preparing lunch for the next day and relaxing with some hot tea. We are saving up, she's helped us make a budget too and now we can even plan some small vacations. It's great!!
Now I can't say how you're outcome will be. But it all depends on how valuable your privacy is. My mil knows everything about us, so there really isn't much of a big deal there, nothing to be shy about. She actually encourages us to go on dates alone. I would suggest what Yocy is doing and just make the time to find some alone time.
GL!! and keep us updated!
Make a pregnancy ticker
Thank you so much ladies for your input and well wishes... after reading that I'm not alone in this similar situation makes me feel so much better and convinces me more that this is a good decision that DH and I made. I really hope this plan B works out as I am hoping for. Now our next challenge is finding people to rent the condos to, not one but TWO... one in Kendall and one in Coral Springs...
Thanks Ladies
I don't really have much advice either, other than it is VERY important to schedule alone time with DH and really stick with it. It is a blessing that your ILs are offering to help you, but you need your privacy and to set boundaries for yourself and for them.
I know a long commute can pretty much destroy your day and exhaust you, so you will see a huge difference in your energy level and overall mood. You are going to love it!
Good luck Diana! I'm sure this will work out for the best!
book a weekend alone- I love it. I have to figure out what to do with the kids though. but what a great idea!!!!!!!!!!!!
We got married in January 2009 and we've been trying to buy a house since September 2008... still haven't found anything. This has left us living with my parents for the past 7 months. It's actually been really fun and good for our relationship (me and DH) and good for DH and my parents' relationship too. Obviously it can be tough at times (like you said, little space, little privacy) but it has its benefits (money saved, closer relationship w/ parents or in-laws). Not to mention my dog LOVES living with her "grandparents." We're just grateful that we have so much support from my parents: we're not homeless while looking for a house; we don't spend tons of money on rent (or groceries, utilities, etc); I had a miscarriage recently and had my parents right there to help take care of me while I was in bed for a few days (and help me with around the house stuff that I was unable to do); we split laundry and cooking so it's easier for us and for them... the list goes on. And when we really just need some space, we house sit for friends and people from church when they go out of town.
It may be frustrating now and then, but enjoy it while it's here. I don't know if you're a fan of country music, but it brings to mind a song... "You're gonna miss this"
Diana, I think it's the best thing that can happen due to the current situation you are in...and don't worry girl, everything will be ok. Just make sure you guys have alone time and it will all work out. xoxoxo and good vibes going your way!!!