South Florida Nesties
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

A little Monday Humor

When you occasionally have a really bad day,
        And you just need to take it out on someone,
        Don't take it out on someone you know,
        Take it out on someone you don't know,
        But you know deserves it.
   
        I was sitting at my desk when I remembered
        a phone call I'd forgotten to make.
     
        I found the number and dialed it.
        
        A man answered, saying
        'Hello.'
         
        I politely said,
        'This is Chris.
        Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

         Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
        'Get the right f***ing number!'
        And the phone was slammed down on me.
           

        I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
         
        When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her,
        I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
digits.
        
        After hanging up with her,
        I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
           
        When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
        'You're an ***!'
        And hung up.

             
        I wrote his number down with the word '***' next to
it,
        And put it in my desk drawer.
          

        Every couple of weeks,
        When I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
        I'd call him up and yell,
        'You're an ***!'
       
        It always cheered me up.
            
        When Caller ID was introduced,
        I thought my theraputic  '***'
        Calling would have to stop.
        
        So, I called his number and said,
        'Hi,  this is John Smith from the telephone company.
        I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID
Program?'
             
        He yelled
        'NO!'
       And slammed down the phone.
           
        I quickly called him back and said,
        'That's because you're an ***!'
        And hung up.
           
        One day I was at the store,
        Getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.
       
        Some guy in a black BMW
        Cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
waited for.
         
        I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that
spot,
        But the idiot ignored me.
          
  
     I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window,
        So I wrote down his number.
         
        A couple of days later,
        Right after calling the first ***
        (I had His number on speed dial,)
        I thought that I'd better call the BMW ***, too..
           
        I said,
        'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
           
        He said,
        'Yes, it is.'
         
        I then asked,
        'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
          
        He said,
        'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree  Blvd , in Fairfax
        It's a yellow ranch style house and the car's parked
right out in front.'
            
        I asked,
        'What's your name?'
          
        He said,
        'My name is Don Hansen,'
              
        I asked,
        'When's  a good time to catch you, Don?'
          
        He said,
        'I'm home every evening after five.'
         
        I said,
        'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'
         
        He said,
        'Yes?'
          
        I said,
        'Don, you're an ***!'
            
        Then I hung up,
        And added his number to my speed dial, too.
            
        Now, when I had a problem,
        I had two assholes to call.
         
        Then I came up with an idea...
        
        I called *** #1.
         
        He said,
        'Hello.'
        
        I said,
        'You're an ***!'
        (But I didn't hang up.)
          
        He asked,
        'Are you still there?'
         
        I said,
        'Yeah!'
            
        He screamed,
        'Stop calling me,'
          
        I said,
        'Make me,'
             
        He asked,
        'Who are you?'
          
        I said,
        'My name is Don Hansen.'
          
        He said,
        'Yeah? Where do you live?'
            
        I said,
        '***, I live at 34  Oaktree  Blvd , in Fairfax ,
        a yellow ranch style home and
        I have a black Beamer parked in front.'
             
        He said,
        'I'm coming over right now, Don.
        And you had better start saying your prayers.'
            
        I said,
        'Yeah, like I'm really scared, ***,'
       And hung up.
          
        Then I called *** #2.
          
        He said,
        'Hello?'
            
        I said,
        'Hello, ***,'
           
        He yelled,
        'If I ever find out who you are...'
           
        I said,
        'You'll what?'
           
        He exclaimed,
        'I'll kick your ass,'
           
        I answered,
        'Well, ***, here's your chance.
        I'm coming over right now.'
           
        Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
        saying that I lived at  34  Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax ,
        and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay
lover.
            
        Then I called Channel 7 News
        about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax

              
        I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax
           
        I got there just in time to watch two assholes
        beating the crap out of each other
        in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter
        and surrounded by a news crew.
             
        NOW I feel much better.
          
        This anger management stuff works great!

Re: A little Monday Humor

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