Opinion on DH's idea of a bbq

cheller134

So my DH is planning a BBQ on Sunday which I'm not too thrilled about because I work til 130 am Sunday morn then work again at 9am Monday morn.  Anyway, a bunch of his friends are coming over for food and drinks.  He thinks its okay to ask his friends for money for the beer he buys.  I think its ridiculous.  If you are hosting a party I think its up to the host to provide everything and not rely on the guests to bring or purchase anything.  If they do bring stuff then that is a bonus.  I told him it is tacky asking people for $5 when they arrive.  Its not a frat party!  His friends act like it though...they are a lil younger and none are even close to being married.  And I know they are going to be passed out on my living floor when I wake up on Mon!  Where my friends are either engaged or married with kids.  Luckily none of my friends are able to make it!! My younger brother and his GF are coming and I would never ever ask them for money!  He keeps saying how much money we are spending on food and the least people can do is give $ for alcohol or bring it.  I say if you think you can't afford to have a bbq then don't!     So...Am i acting like an old married no fun beotch??

cheller134

Let me add that I think its okay for everyone to chip in on a party if that is the theme of the party.  Like someone brinds apps, someone desserts and so on.  If that makes any sense!

nygirl07

I would never ask guests for money but if someone asks if they can bring anything we normally just tell them they can bring more beer if they want.  I wouldn't ask for cash though...the only time we do this is for the wine festival we have and we aren't hosting it we just have it at our house (if that makes sense)

I guess it really depends....we have had parties were everyone brought something and so has my FI's mom.  If it's something they all planned and he just said he would have it at your house then it's ok, but if it's something he planned then it might be weird

izzy_n_jersey

I don't think it's right to ask people to chip in, but if they ask, I'd say to bring your favorite beer.

Men are different though, I'm sure they wouldn't think anything of chipping in.

SG5506

I agree that you should be able to afford it if you are throwing it.  However, I know of people who always ask people to bring stuff when they come over.  I only tell people they can bring something if the ask.  I used to tell them not to, but I realized since most of my friends make people bring something, now I usually have them bring something!!  Why should I spend all of the money if A) they never throw parties, or B)ask people to bring something or chip in money if they have parties?  Maybe he should just ask them to bring the beer.

SG5506

If he is collecting the money, make sure he asks beforehand so they are prepared!!

shari_rngleson

can you make it like an "alcohol potluck" and ask everyone to bring a case/12 pack of beer or wine or something?  this might be more polite than asking people for money?

cheller134

Its official...BYO!  I flat out told him he can't ask people for money.  We will have some beer but if people want anything fancy its on them!

Thanks for the input

schmoopiekins

I know i'm late on this but i do feel very strongly that if you Host an event, you dont ask for funds. I have def asked ppl to bring food or booze, but not asked for money. we recently had aBBQ and i said specifically we would only be providing Miller Lite. So a lot of ppl brought other stuff, which helped a lot.

eb629

Late here...

But, my H's idea of a BBQ is grilled hot dogs or hamburgers and a bag of chips, and BYO beer. I think this is tacky... we're no longer 21 yrs old!