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I'm feeling judgy ... discuss
Stolen from another board: Yes, I could dump all my money into his house, but I worked for my money and saved my money and as much as we are 1 now, it was not my mistake and it is not my house to pay for. I have no moral qualms with it because I never ever said I would pay his mortgage and his hoa fees for him and I don't intend to now.
The background is that the poster has been married for 3 months, but had been with her now-husband for several years. He bought a house that they both have been living in, got laid off twice in the span of at least 2-3 years, and is now looking to short sell it or foreclose. The poster is employed, apparently has the funds to keep paying the mortgage, but would rather just walk away than contribute to the costs.
I fully understand spouses wanting to keep separate property in some cases (heck, we have a pre-nup), but something about this whole situation rubs me the wrong way. Maybe I'm just sensitive because the condo I bought before we got married has significantly dropped in value, but I cannot imagine my H just sitting by and watching me struggle if I ever had trouble with making payments. I also can't imagine either one of us just letting the other on blow his/her credit score; that is something that could affect our future shared goals.
Re: I'm feeling judgy ... discuss
um, "his" house? she lives there, too, right?
ugh, please slap this chick for me.
Um...whatafuckingbitch. My H and I keep our finances separate, but we've had a couple situations since we've moved where we've adjusted what we each pay on bills, rent, etc. I look at this as kicking your husband when he's down. That's not what a marriage is about.
Now I WOULD side with her if this was a case where he racked up a bunch of credit card debt secretly, or blew a bunch of money gambling, but I think that's a different story than the one presented.
Socializing foster puppies since 2009
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Are they staying together? If so, she's awful. If not, maybe not as awful.
I'd like to get in on the odds of that marriage failing.
This is what I was thinking. Did she contribute to the mortgage? If not, she lived there for free and now doesn't want to help out her SPOUSE when he's facing financial hardship from being laid off!? Her whole attitude about the situation bugs me (based on what I read in this post).
If I were unsure about the marriage, or I had any reservations at all about our future together, I wouldn't pay in my own separate property either. Otherwise, that just seems so fuuucked up.
See, that's what I'm thinking.
She has an exit strategy in mind already.
<clapping!!>