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Help I need Romantic ideas-rant
Okay so a little background. MH is a JW so I don't get Valentine's Day, or Birthday and Christmas, but we are supposed to make a huge deal out of our anniversary. We have this arrangement where we alternate planning, I'm a control freak and just couldn't leave it up to him every year. Last year was his turn and it was a disaster! Everything went wrong, it wasn't romantic, and I made him feel horrible about it. So this year DH and I will be celebrating out five year anniversary in Oct. so he decided he would make up for last year and we would go away, he bought plane tickets to go to Seattle for 5 days. Problem we moved to CA and the tickets are from Denver, the change fee is more than a brand new ticket on SW, so we cancelled the trip. Now we just found out that MH can't get time off for our anniversary, but still has to take 4 weeks of vacation by December 31st, which is never going to happen since they won't ever give him the time off. So I am trying to put my frustrations aside and plan something, because if I rely on him and he doesn't come through I will be devastated!
So I need ideas! What can we do?
Re: Help I need Romantic ideas-rant
Devastated? That is a strong word. If you put that much pressure on him and your anniversary you are bound to be disappointed no matter what.
I would plan something low key and not expect much so that you can be pleasantly surprised. I nice weekend in Santa Barbara or Palm Springs(Indian Wells/Palm Dessert etc) would be nice in October. You could stay at a nice place and have some great meals. It sounds like that's all he will have time for but I would not get angry with him over it if that is what his work requires of him. Hopefully they will pay him out on his vacation(or least some of it) and you can take a nice long vacation next year.
Since he can't take time off just plan a weekend trip to San Diego, Palm Springs, or Santa Barbara. I wouldn't put too much pressure on the romantic part of the vacation because it's truly better when it just happens. Usually when "romantic" things are planned it never ends up being all that romantic.
I would have your Husband check his employee handbook and see what it states about vacation hours. If they dont allow time to take vacation but hours are not rolled over or paid out to me that raises a red flag. Sorry I work in HR so I thought I would just bring it up. Also, in some cases a company may force you to take a vacation but it doesn't sound that this is the case.
this is super dramatic and
worthy.
take a bunch of mini vacations, do little road trips around CA. my goodness. i'm thinking he probably feels pretty shittty already since you admittedly made him feel awful about what he planned last year. don't add to his stress.
I agree with some of the ladies that this post was a bit dramatic...devastated and all. BUT I bet the drama is also coming from you being home all the time while he is still working and being bored/lonely. As the other ladies have said, dont focus too much on the "perfectness" of it all, and just take some weekend trips to get away just you and him.
check out:
San Diego
solvang
Catalina
Temecula ( if you like wine tasting)
Santa Barbara
Pismo
Basically anywhere up the coast. Also dont rule out Vegas or even places like big bear, arrowhead, tahoe, and mammoth in the winter. If you see a few places that you like, you should post here for reviews. A lot of ladies here travel quite frequently.
I know you've emphasized this need for romance; why not just do something fun together or something that both of you have wanted to do for some time?
H and I are going to see comedian Demitri Martin for our 1st anniversary. Admittedly, it's not romantic to go see a comedian, but it's something that we've both wanted to for a long time now.
Forced romance is never going to be romantic. Any time you try to plan romance, it's always going to be a disaster. Your poor H...what did he do that was so awful before? I just know that if MH made the effort to plan ANYTHING for me I would be excited about it...and his effort would be more romantic to me than candles and champagne and other trappings of "romance."
Okay so I guess I was a little dramatic, and honestly anytime we do something together I think it is romantic.
Last year sucked because...
He spent weeks being all secretive and proud of himself, one of his coworkers even made a point to tell me how lucky I was. When it came to the big night we went to dinner at the crappy after work happy hour type place..I kept thinking it was all part of his sweep me off my feet strategy then after dinner we went home no gift, no flowers nothing. I decided to hide my disappointment and not say anything, (admittedly a bad idea) then the coworker asked me if I was surprised so I cracked...turned out H was planning on taking me to this cute little boutique hotel for the weekend, but cancelled it last minute, who knows why.
I know I shouldn't be so hard on him and when I build things up I am setting myself up for disappointment...it just stinks.
It seems you were disappointed as a result of expectations based on information from a third party.
Had you not spoken with this co-worker, what would you have expected that night? Would a simple dinner still not have been enough?
maybe said CW sees how much your husband loves you, and that's what they meant by you being lucky.
in any case, count your blessings. there are others who are not nearly as lucky as you.