POLL: Dealing with people's negative opinions on marriage......

Mrs.HisOnly

Something came up last night where my best friend's friend made a comment on FB about "marriage being the end of love" so of course me being all "pro-marriage" (OBVIOUSLY) I stated my opinions on the opposite. Now the friend is offended and I'm in "trouble".

It wasn't really meant to be an attack on her but a general statement on how I do not believe that people can say things like that without ever being married or engaged....or in love with a good man, really.

I'm sure you all heard the "don't do it" comments before being married and have probably heard the negativity toward marriage since.

How have you dealt with it?

Mrs_Rod

Depending who it is will depend how I answer them.  If its a close friend or a coworker...I tell them the truth, marriage is great, as long as you have two ppl in a committed relationship willing to work out the kinks.  Nothing is perfect but making it work for the two of you is the most important thing.  My coworker asks me all the time how the sex life stays alive.  I guess its absurd to her to think I've been with the same man for the last going to be ::GASPS:: 8 yrs...but I explain to her a) its never NOT great b) you make it fun...creativity.  And there is nothing better than knowing you're coming home to the person you can tell all your secrets to...to your bestfriend. 

I have a friend that would always complain about her relationship w/her SO.  And all my gfs would be like oh yeah guys are a$$es.  But me and the other married friend never saw it like that.  Our husbands are great...yes are there issues, of course, we are human, but it's nothing that cannot be worked out. And do we make a big deal about small things, of course, but like I said we are all human.  We just don't deal on the small stuff.   

EliStar

My answer is always: "I'm so sorry you feel that way. Getting married was the best decision I ever made."

I couldn't imagine not being married to Anthony. We have such a great relationship that I thank God every day that we chose to spend our lives together. I completely agree with you Justine, that you can't really judge marriage until you have been in one. And it all depends on the specific relationship. Yeah, some marriages suck - some people do it just to do it and don't think about the consequences. But when two committed people are in a healthy, functional relationship, marriage is a great thing. There is nothing better than having someone who will stick with you no matter what, who will love and respect you on your worst days, take care of you when you're sick, raise a family with you.

I truly feel sorry for the people who won't ever know that feeling.

Ceventa

Justine, if this chick felt it was ok to put a statement like that out there that reflected the way she felt, then I don't see why you are in trouble because you responded in the same manner. You stated the way you felt.

I personally don't agree. I think marriage is the next, deeper step to love. Sure, sometimes it doesn't work out for people. But to say something so definite like that, I don't see how she could not have expected for someone to disagree.

p1nkred1ble

Opinions are like a-holes... everyone's got one! LMFAO!! No, but seriously... I personally don't think it's fair for someone to forcefully voice their opinion on various subjects, and then in turn become offended when someone else voices an opinion contrary to what their belief is... Therefore, I believe it's wrong for her to get angry at you for doing what she did... giving your opinion! I LOVE being married... I wouldn't want my life any other way. It doesn't have to be perfect... but it's great the way it is. Even on our worst day, I would take it over being single. I am truly blessed

muddilicious

Ugh, I hate that!  I pretty much turn the other cheek, and just take it.  Cause seriously, I come from a family of bad marriages and some very jaded souls. 

But sometimes I say something cheeky like "so are you on your third or fourth wife by now?" 

Like seriously, how can you give me advice?

Budney

That chick doesnt know what she's talking about.  She needs to get married before opening her mouth.  She's not experience.  Im glad I married my husband Paul without him i wouldnt be were i am today.

marsh127

I'm not sure that I've encountered anything truly negative.  Usually it's just jokes though sometimes I think they border on inappropriate.  I usually just laugh in their face because I know they're wrong.

I wouldn't trade being married to Daniel for being single any day of the week.  Someone else said it too, but it's nice to come home and know that I can share ANYTHING with him and he won't judge me and of course that goes both ways.  I love coming home to him and I still have moments where I look at him and say, God I love him.  In fact, that happened just yesterday.

Anyway, that's how I feel. 

girllennon

I've encountered negative opinons about marriage and lately, most of them have come from my brother. He probably pissed that his marriage is not that great right now and that things have been tough for the both of them due to the recession. Instead of working together, they are taking it out on each other.

I guess my brother and a few other people I know might be a bit jealous at the closeness that we have as a couple (long before we ever were engaged). They can't wrap their heads around the fact that there still is such a thing as a soulmate, but that doesn't mean I live in Pixieland and think everything is rainbows and ponies. All relationships are works in progress, some grow and prosper, where others find themselves growing apart.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank God for having DH in my life and the kind of person he is. When I was much younger, I was never set on the notion that I had to be married to be happy. What mattered to me is the person that is sharing my life with me and if marriage happens, it happens. I am glad that I am married now and at more stable point in my life. I don't think it would've worked for me when I was in my 20s (I'm 33 now).

Melissa011983

Ceventa:

Justine, if this chick felt it was ok to put a statement like that out there that reflected the way she felt, then I don't see why you are in trouble because you responded in the same manner. You stated the way you felt.

I personally don't agree. I think marriage is the next, deeper step to love. Sure, sometimes it doesn't work out for people. But to say something so definite like that, I don't see how she could not have expected for someone to disagree.

Ceventa I completely agree with you!

Justine did your friend really think that by posting that on FB she wasn't going to get any responses?  Everyone comments on other people status all the time, I don't get it? How on earth can this girl get mad? I don't understand people sometimes! 

Mrs.HisOnly

The poster is an acquaintance to me and my BF's good friend.

Apparently, I was being "combative" avery "as a matter of fact". I tried to explain that she gave her opinion and all I did was give mine. She doesn't get it because she agrees with her friend. I'm the outcast because I'm married and have a different opinion.

I tried to explain to her that if I made a negative statement about her friend's lifestyle (not directly but generally) she would probably be hurt or offended too. She told me it's not the same thing.

Whatevs!