Orange County Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Poll: housework/child care
I was reading on a couple of other boards about how unhelpful some nesties' husbands are when it comes to pitching in with the house and kids, where women got sick of nagging and just starting doing it themselves. Where does your husband fall in the "helpfulness" category?[Poll]
Re: Poll: housework/child care
I firmly believe that the spouse who works less has to do more housework. It doesn't matter what the gender breakdown is.
When I worked a lot more, I expected Mr. Mo to do more around the house, and he did. I wouldn't have to ask. He knew I wasn't about to clean a toilet at midnight when I came home.
Nowadays, it is more even because our hours are about the same, but he has to nag me a little because I'm not used to it.
this is my thought process, too, but MH has been spoiled with me not working the past few months and basically left me to do almost all of it - even now that I'm working again. I leave over an hour before him in the morning and get home at least an hour after him and the man has all of a sudden forgotten how to cook.
I put that he has to remind me of a few things, but actually our real option wasn't on there.
He does the majority of the housework while I sit on my ass like a useless lump.
We're kind of the same - split everything for the most part (except I do all the cooking, which I don't mind) and try to pick up the slack if the other has a big work project, etc.
Actually, now that he's working from home, although he's MUCH busier and more stressed out, he does more things at home, just because he's there. He usually knocks off a couple loads of laundry during the week.
We are the exact opposite of this. I have to beg for assistance (and be willing to take him "forgetting" or doing is halfway). We both work a ton of hours, but he wouldn't notice anything was wrong until he was out of clean clothes, etc.
Nice. If he's home, he might as well!
I put "he has to bug me" b/c he does the majority of the cleaning. (I haven't touched a vacuum in so long. My H likes to vacuum.) But I do more of the child rearing. While he's working on the yard or cleaning house, I'm taking care of the kid, running errands with her, cooking dinner, etc. We both do laundry too, so I'd say its pretty equal actually.
My complaint is that my husband rather spend time making sure the house is perfect than spending that time with my daughter and I. He's too much of a neat freak sometimes.
Since DH now works so much more than I do and is gone a lot, I end up doing all of the housework when he's gone.
When he's home, he picks up around the house and does most of the cleaning and has to remind me to pick up after myself.
This post kind of made me think of it:
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/22818391.aspx
The first response in particular I was AW HELL NO:
I think some women just say Fvckit and do most the work themselves. I think it starts way before you ever have kids and just continues once they arrive. I also think with most men if you stop doing all the stuff yourselves they will eventually get tired of wearing crusty underwear and do a load of laundry themselves.
Maybe it's me...but I am too lazy to do all the work myself. I need MH to pull his weight. It also seems like a very general classification of men. At least in my case, I could not be with a man I had to constantly nag. What a waste of time and energy.
Thankfully I married a clean freak for a husband. He's really good at picking up. We've been housekeeper-less for over 2 months and he's really picked up some of the tasks I hate doing. I will say that I probably do more of the deep cleaning that is time consuming but it would go by so much slower if he didn't do his part in the first part. ie: He cleans dishes, wipes counter down after he makes a mess, picks up BOTH our clothes off the floor and he even sorts his laundry for me. I feel pretty lucky......
I obviously live in such a different world than many others.
MH doesn't let me get near his laundry. I offered to do his for him once and he looked at me like I had 8 heads. And the second he gets home every day, before he even changes clothes, he goes through the entire house and picks/straightens up. He's so freaking anal about his stuff/the house that even when I do clean something, he follows behind me and re-cleans it.
I refuse to even consider children unless he is totally willing to do 50% of the work involved in raising them. That_shit is not my responsibility just because I'm a woman.
I work from home so by that fact alone I usually pickup more of the work just because it's not that big of a deal for me to throw a load of laundry in here, do dishes there, vacuum, whatever because I just fit it in around my normal work flow.
When he's home (he works 60-70 hours a week) he does what he can without complaint and usually it's the things I really appreciate like the backyard (dog waste), trash, fixing XYZ, etc.
As for childcare... he's super hands on (but we've only had our LO for 4 days so take it FWIW) and very actively involved. Even during labor, he was the one who took me to the restroom and held my IVs, gown, whatever, held my fetal monitoring when Bella kept kicking it off of me for 3 hours, took over her first diaper change from the nurse (he had previously never changed a diaper in his life), etc.
Socializing foster puppies since 2009
Chart for TTC#2 - BFP 6.10.12, m/c 6.17.12 @ 4w3d ? BFP 7.14.12, EDD 3.27.13
Beta @ 15DPO: 441, P: 15.1 ? 19DPO: 2,784 ? 26DPO: 28,886 ? U/S 8/2: One happy HB!
Elective U/S @ 15w5d - it's a BOY! Confirmed at 19w6d. ?
Well, that's a horse of a different color. If he has completely different standards and wants to do the work himself, you would be crazy to stop him.
I absolutely agree. That being said, for someone that works long ass hours, MH is amazing at helping do housework on the weekends. Especially before a party or gtg, he is like a freaking machine. I really, really appreciate it.
i'm an awful housekeeper. i'll step over a pile before i'll actually pick it up. and although the hub definitely works more than i do, he's much better about the household chores than i am.
confession: since MIL's been watching the bean while i work in the mornings, the neat freak in her always beats me AND the hub to the vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, dishwasher emptying, etc. i always feel super lame when i get home and she's done all of it, but i'm grateful. the hub says she misses having a house to clean. that's completely foreign to me, but knowing her, he's probably spot-on.