Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Justine's (Mrs.HisOnly) Post on People's Negative Opinions on Marriage...
I thought I'd spice things up a bit, since the boards have been a bit slow lately... I'm sure we have a lot of people "lurking" and not writing (for several reasons - i.e. being nosey, or just too busy)... This is my effort to get things moving, and to get a few thoughts of mine out there...
It was this post (http://tinyurl.com/m4jhan) that got me thinking... not only about people who have negative opinions about Marriage... but about people who believe that everyone should share their opinion, no matter what.
The lady that does my nails says it best... "Cada cual hace con su culo un tambor, y toca la rumba como quiere" (Translation: Every individual can make a drum out of their *behind* and play the "Rumba" however they wish). Honestly, this is such a true statement. Everyone on this board, and everyone in the world does as they wish with their life. We are constantly faced with choices on a daily basis, from what to wear, to what to have for lunch, to how to treat others that cross our path, etc... And it really isn't up to us to decide whether the choice someone else had made is right or wrong. We all have opinions of what should or shouldn't be, and we may feel strongly about some issues and situations... but in the end, our decisions are our business. We only have control over our own actions and how they impact our lives. If getting Married is something that you have always believed in, go for it... if you rather live with someone for the rest of your life and never "Tie the Knot", go for that... If you want to wait until Marriage to move in together, that's great, and if you want to move in as soon as you get engaged, more power to you... What I do think is that those people who force their opinions on other people are ignorant and wrong for doing so. It is not your job to make anyone believe something, or think a certain way. And if someone doesn't share your opinion, oh well! That is not your problem...
I have my opinions, just like anyone else... I knew I wanted to get Married, when it was my time. I didn't force it, I didn't push... when it happened, it happened. That moment that DH got down on his knee with that ring was utterly sublime! I know I have Married a man who will be there for me no matter what, and who unconditionally loves me. I also knew that I wanted to wait until we got Married to move in together... it was my personal choice, and had nothing to do with me feeling like because I waited to move in with him that I was better than anyone, or anything of the source - It was just my choice. I believe that two people who are in love do not have to wait until everything is "perfect" to Get Married, but once they are Married, they should plan the rest of their lives "together", making decisions as a couple, and always trying to be on the same "page", and so far, that is how I am living out my Marriage. Soon it will be our 1 year Anniversary, and our love is growing stronger every day.
In the end, if you are happy with the decisions you make, you shouldn't have to care what other people say about them... Don't be afraid to voice your opinion, no matter who you think may be "lurking", ready to talk trash about you! If you are truly happy with the decisions you are making, there is no reason to have a guilty conscience and start second guessing when people make negative comments. I have a feeling that me fellow SoFla Nesties know what I mean 
Thanks for letting me share Please feel free to comment... don't be shy!
Re: Re: Justine's (Mrs.HisOnly) Post on People's Negative Opinions on Marriage...
Agreed.
Dealing with other people's opinions, beliefs, way of doing things is just another part of life. Not everyone is going to be 100% the same.
When we got married, I was 20 years old. You can only imagine all the "we need to talk's" I got from family and family "friends," and people who I couldn't care less about. But I put my big girl panties on and smiled. I got everything from the "well, if you're going to do it at least don't take his last name that way when you get divorced it won't be so complicated with the paper work" to "you're too young" coming from someone who got married at 30 (the first time) and is on his 3rd wife (who by the way, he was cheating on!!). Not exactly the kind of thing I wanted to hear or the kind of people I was looking to get "advice" from. No matter what people said to me though, my answer stayed consistent..."we know what we're getting into. Yes, marriage can be difficult at times, and it's not all puppies and rainbows but our faith is MUCH GREATER than some statistics or a "this one time at band camp" story." Eventually, people got the clue that I just didn't care what they had to say. Not to say that I'm never open to advice or listening to other people's life experiences, but in my opinion, some people are just soo jaded that they don't know how to simply say "Congratulations" with a smile, wish someone their best, and move on.
And look at you now!!! Just think if you would've listened to people, or let them fill your head with nonsense... I don't know you very personally, but it seems to me that you are making all the best decisions for you and your family.
The part that bothers me, and I am sure I'm not the only one, is people constantly forcing their opinion, and telling you how to run your life because they think they know a thing or two about your situation... Until someone walks a mile in my shoes, I'll be damned if I let them tell me how to run my life! People don't know what I've been through, or how hard I've had to work for what I have... and I don't have to go around standing on a soap box preaching about it. It's my life, in the end.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts
You're right! I've learned that people are always going to have something to say, but it's how WE choose to respond that makes the difference.