In addition: Losing friends after marriage...

Mrs.HisOnly

or after they're marriage/relationship has failed.

My BF was supposed to get married this coming fall to the "love of her life" and father of her son. They've been on and off for about 11 years. He broke up with her and called off the engagement because after months of planning and several thousand $ invested he decided he no longer wanted to get married. They both come from broken homes so getting married was something I think they were both nervous about but loved eachother enough to do it anyway. Despite their no so great history I was really happy for her and went in to full gear with the planning.

Every since they split up in March things have been different. I feel like I can't talk to her anymore and I have a feeling she feels tha way too. This is mostly due to the fact that she is still maintaining a "friends with benefits" type relationship with ex-FI and obviously they have  son together so he'll always be around. It really saddens me because we've been friends for 10 years. But I just feel like we are in such different places in our lives that we have nothing in common anymore except for our history. I've been going through my own stuff this year as some of you already know and you can get an idea from my siggy story. She hasn't really been there to be supportive and has actually told me that my problems do not even hold a candle to hers because her problems make her feel worse than mine ever could.

Have any of you lost friends since you've been married? or maybe just aren't as close with some friends you were much closer to prior?

 

 

 

p1nkred1ble

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Losing friends always sucks... but I know exactly what you mean. Personally, I don't think it has anything to do with getting married... I honestly think it's just that as adults, our lives start going in different directions (as you mentioned), and those "things" you used to have in common may not exist anymore. sometimes, situations occur where one or the other will harvest "hard feelings" they can never recover from. Who knows. But sometimes, when someone leaves your life, someone else comes in, and sometimes, it works out for the better.

jessi720

I have definitely lost friends after getting engaged and then married.  This is two fold though because I used to live in Central Florida where I got to see my friends more often, and now I don't.  However we just don't have much in common anymore anyway... they are concerned about partying and going to bars and hooking up with some guy, and those are not options for me anymore.  I really don't have anyone in South Florida that I consider a close friend, which is why I get so excited about the local boards and meeting you ladies.

julissa11

Things change when you get married - your perspective on life and how you want to spend your free time - all of these things are different now.  Single or un-married friends tend to not understand and unfortunately some do drift away. I've lost touch with some of my girls but I try to make an effort to least keep up via e-mail and/or facebook.  It's hard!

EliStar

I agree that it really doesn't specifically have to do with getting married - just with your perspectives and priorities changing as you progress into adulthood. Your family duties and work obligations start taking up more and more of your time and you have less time for the occassional get togethers you used to enjoy with those friends you only saw once in a blue moon.

I did see some of my friendships deteriorate after I got married just because I didn't have enough time to keep up with all of them. It's a shame, because I still love and treasure those people, but I can't commit to being the type of "full-time" friend I pride myself on being.