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Dude, was I B-listed?
2 months ago I get a text from a friend from good friend in college that I don't talk to on a regular basis but we're still cool. "I'm getting married on Halloween. Save the date." Um...okay?
Yes, a text message is informal, but my friend is very fly by the seat of her pants. So while I found it odd, it's not too far off...well, for her at least. And so I waited for the invite. And waited. And waited. I'm thinking, "Am I still invited?"
The invite finally showed up on Monday. And I'm like "Wha?". So I talked to my friend who lives 4 hours away, doesn't have a car because they live in the city, and they have a kid, and she just got called to ask her address so she can be sent an invite. I mean literally yesterday she got a call. It's not like this woman can pick up at a moments notice and just jaunt on down.
We didn't even know our friend was engaged, and were not even sure who the guy is. I think I've met him once.
I know people change, and you're not all up in everyones business like back in the day, but holy hanna. Getting married sort of ranks up there with warranting an FYI.
I'm not a betting kind of gal, but I'm pretty sure we got b-listed. I'm sort of miffed about it, and right now I'm leaning towards an RSVP of "no". I think it's a little tacky and there are better ways to go about making someone second string. Just sayin.
Re: Dude, was I B-listed?
I don't think you were B-listed. Invites being sent out 6-8 weeks before the wedding is norm. Granted if she is having a lot of OOT guest she probably should have sent the invites at 8 weeks, but she didn't and I think 6 weeks is still reasonable. If she txt you right after she got engaged (2 months ago) then I think she in no way was b-listing you. She is just pressed for time.
An although Save the Date cards are nice. It's really kind of a new tradition (and added expense) and IMO not really necessary. I've sort of always felt that if the bride & groom are special people to you, then you'd want to be there no matter what and six weeks notice should be plenty of time to change existing plans.
Dx MFI, AMA, Endo, AMH .16
Lap 10/09 Removed endometrioma, stage IV endo and adhesions
Lap 2/10 Endometrioma cysts & adhesions returned.
Ivf #1 4/10 Antagonist, ET Cancelled.
IVF #2 2/11 A/ACP+E2V C/P
IVF #3 6/11 Letrozole/Antagonist BFN
IVF #4 11/11 Low stim Antagonist BFN
Lap 3/12 Lap & Selective HSG
Many cycles of Letrozole and LP HCG w/TI and LDN
IVF #5 8/12 Low stim BFN
IUI #1 10/12 BFN br> S&PAIFW
It may be a B-list situation, However, perhaps it slipped her mind or she is sending invitations out a little later than the "norm"?
If you really feel close to her and want to see her get married and be there to support her, I would RSVP "YES", but if you really feel like you are B-lister, I would go ahead and RSVP "NO"
She has been living with the guy for over a year and never bothered to mention it. And she's been engaged for longer than 2 months. From the scraps I've gathered it's been awhile.
It's not so much the b-listing, or lack of formality, as it is her not letting me know anything about her life and then *poof* wedding. Texting and quick facebook stuff is okay, but you can't get her on the phone or make concrete plans to see her. And if you do have plans she bags on them.
She also wouldn't give me her address so I couldn't send her invite to my wedding so she didn't have to come.
So yeah, I'm a little "Ehh" on the whole thing. Friendships take work when you get older and maybe she just isn't that into me. Who knows. I just think the situation is odd.
Doesn't sound like much of a friend. I think it's more odd that you got an invite after her not wanting to come to your wedding than possibly being B listed. And for that reason, I wouldn't go.
I'm still not sure if you were B-listed or not, but under the circumstances I would only go to this wedding if it was an event I thought I might enjoy. In other words... if I knew that I would have a chance to see old friends, do some dancing and eat good food. . Make your own party out of it.
Since she didn't make an effort or show interest to come to your wedding, I'd feel no obligation to attend.
Dx MFI, AMA, Endo, AMH .16
Lap 10/09 Removed endometrioma, stage IV endo and adhesions
Lap 2/10 Endometrioma cysts & adhesions returned.
Ivf #1 4/10 Antagonist, ET Cancelled.
IVF #2 2/11 A/ACP+E2V C/P
IVF #3 6/11 Letrozole/Antagonist BFN
IVF #4 11/11 Low stim Antagonist BFN
Lap 3/12 Lap & Selective HSG
Many cycles of Letrozole and LP HCG w/TI and LDN
IVF #5 8/12 Low stim BFN
IUI #1 10/12 BFN br> S&PAIFW
and in my world - this would mean "open bar"
lol
Seriously though, ditto, if you think you would enjoy it, go. If not, don't worry about it!
She was 5 weeks prior if you got it on Monday... could also have just been late
In my bag: Canon 60D, 50mm 1.4, Tamron 28-75 2.8, 430exii