BOTB

flowerpower3

Ok...it's so bad...DH and I both really really want to wait like 2-3 years to have kids.  Lately, though, my mommy hormones have been raging.  I just keep thinking about it. And then, when I really REALLY think about it, I realize that I DO really want to wait a couple years.

But to satisfy my baby thoughts a little, I've been lurking on BOTB.  I don't think I'm ready to post there yet, though, so anyone wanna talk baby here? lol

MsWildcat

i go back and forth. We will probably wait 4-5 years, and maybe more depending on my job--it is just the way it is.  And, i'm still rather selfish--Its best i wait a while.  But, when i see baby or a pregnant woman, i want one.

 do you have any nieces or nephews or friends with babies? I have learned that taking them for night or even weekend tends to satisfy any baby craving i have...and it is relieving to send them home at the end of their stay...

 

mamie329

I'll admit there are times that I get a twinge of wanting, but mostly all I can think of are the negatives. Both DH and I are very selfish people and love our "carefree" married life together. Besides not being ready emotionally, financially we need to accomplish A LOT more. Plus, and maybe this is the most selfish thing of all, I don't want my body taken for a nine-month ride. I'd say we're on the 4-5 year plan. 

flowerpower3

We have little cousins (and by little I mean 4 - 14 years old).  We spend a lot of time with them.

I have a couple friends with babies, but being around them makes me want one even more. lol

And, like I said, when I really think about it, I know I don't really want one right now.  It's just I've been getting bursts of thoughts lately about having one.  I still don't want one, though.  Just looking for people to talk about babies with, I guess...lol  I'm a dork.

flowerpower3

CLNDAR2009:

We have little cousins (and by little I mean 4 - 14 years old).  We spend a lot of time with them.

I have a couple friends with babies, but being around them makes me want one even more. lol

And, like I said, when I really think about it, I know I don't really want one right now.  It's just I've been getting bursts of thoughts lately about having one.  I still don't want one, though.  Just looking for people to talk about babies with, I guess...lol  I'm a dork.

And I do talk about it with DH; he doesn't get those thoughts/feelings yet...lol

MsWildcat

oh god my husband doesn't understand wanting a baby at all right now. He is fabulous with kids, but he even made his grandmother cry when she asked if she would have more grandkids next year--he just blankly looked at her and then said, "no way mimi, you may be dead before we decide to have kids". Heartless bastard, crushing mimi's (and my) dreams. haha!

 I think i want children sometimes right now just because i want to move on from this point of my life (i'm ready to be out of school) and i want to be more established (with my career and with kids). Plus, we are discussing how great the house we want is for children, so that is putting BOTB as well.

 

angelfire0412

Warning: I have a lot to say about this! My husband wants another baby but I feel like I still need time before I am ready. After all, the pregnancy is pretty easy for him to go through!

Babies are amazing, there is no doubt about it. It is truly miraculous that we are able to conceive, carry and deliver healthy and thriving children. I am so grateful to have been blessed with my babies.?

Having my kids forced me to change certain things about myself (selfishness and self-centeredness among them). It's just kind of hard to be prideful when you are being poked and prodded by a parade of people for 9 months. Then forget when the babies actually arrive, I have been puked, peed and pooped on in public, I've had my lip and nose busted on numerous occasions by a baby head or fist or foot. I've unknowingly wore an Oscar the Grouch ponytail holder to the grocery store and walked around a restaurant with a sticker on my butt. Everything about being a parent is humbling, but I have actually enjoyed that aspect of it. Since I've had my children, my life has been so much more authentic, richer and more rewarding.

But it's also really inconvenient. Just a few examples~we did not take a real honeymoon because I refuse to leave them for 2+ days, we have had to leave restaurants before our meals came because our little one decided to pitch a ginormous fit, the last movie I saw in a theater was SATC (May 2008), I have had to stop and restart typing this reply 4 times for coloring, juice, reading and potty breaks. I can never sleep when I want to, eat when I want to, go to the bathroom when I want to or even run to the grocery store when I want to.

It's not just 9 months that your body is on a roller coaster--mine still isn't anywhere near what it was pre-baby. It is said that pregnancy adds 50 YEARS of stress to your body, which I fully believe and feel. Aside from the atrocious weight gain (for me, 95 lbs between the 2 pregnancies), there are the weird things that happen--my teeth shifted (and are still shifting), I got constant nosebleeds, my hair grew so beautifully but would fall out in clumps. Just weird stuff. Not to mention that now I have constant pain in my joints + numbness in my right leg and nerve damage from the epidural + back pain where I never had any before pregnancy. I have been pretty lucky that my body has gotten somewhat back into shape, but I still have the constant 'baby pooch,', my boobs have stretched from here to oblivion (they are now on a deflating trend) and I don't think my hips and thighs will ever be the same, no matter what I try.

It is all at once the most wonderful and horrific experience ever. I had my first when I was almost 28 and I am so thankful that I was able to travel and live life and experience things before I did have children, because lots of things have been put on hold now that they're here. But I wouldn't have it any other way

I just don't know if I'm ready to do that all over again. The prospect of another pregnancy seems daunting at best.?

vhcoleman09

Angelfire - you're scaring me. It's not so much giving up the selfishness. I'm totally okay with that part. I'm 31, have travelled a ton, and don't feel like I'll be missing out on anything when I have kids. It's also not the getting pooped on or stickers on my butt. It's actually the body changes that frighten me the most. I'm fine with weight gain. If I work hard enough I can probably lose most of it, though the deflated bewbies aren't too appealing. But things like "teeth shifting" (what exactly is that?) and possible nerve damage...aaaagh! Yesterday my Mom told me that when she had me she lost a tooth and that the doctors told her this was normal. I really don't want to lose a tooth.

angelfire0412

Sorry V!!! I just think people tend to not realize what a physically huge deal it is to actually be pregnant.?

Re: teeth shifting, I never had braces, never had to have braces, never had a problem with my teeth my whole life. When I was pregnant with my first baby, my teeth hurt horrendously (before I knew I was pregnant), and ever since then, my teeth have actually been crowding together and shifting in my mouth. I went to an orthodontist to have a retainer made so it would at least hold them in place. She said it was quite normal for teeth to change during and after pregnancy. Who knew??

Re: nerve damage. I was dead set on having natural child births. My mom did it with me and my brother and I thought if she could, I could. Wrong. I had 100% back labor which is the most excruciating pain I have ever felt. With my first baby, I was already 9 cm dilated when I finally got my epidural (the a. doc was caught up doing epis for gunshot victims--welcome to west palm) and they probably weren't even supposed to give it to me at that point. But basically he had to administer the epi needle in between my contractions which were already 30 seconds apart. I am pretty sure that something went awry during that time when my back muscles were contracting around the giant epidural needle which caused some sort of mild nerve damage. My right leg and foot frequently go numb and get tingly. It's not unpleasant, but it's definitely a weird sensation. I got the epidural at 7 cm with my son but after that, the tingliness in my leg definitely increased, and I am convinced the epidural needle contributed to that again.

The thing that did turn out better than I hoped was the episiotomy. That was about the scariest damn thing. But the doctors both times did an excellent job both cutting and sewing up. But I've known some people who haven't been that lucky. It's definitely better to be cut than to tear.

My friend also had PUPS which is a rare condition that occurs during pregnancy. It's basically uncontrollable itching. It sounded miserable.?

You will be fine, it's all worth it! It's just a lot to go through that a lot of people (including husbands) don't realize.?

?

sarajoy12345

CLNDAR2009:

Ok...it's so bad...DH and I both really really want to wait like 2-3 years to have kids.  Lately, though, my mommy hormones have been raging.  I just keep thinking about it. And then, when I really REALLY think about it, I realize that I DO really want to wait a couple years.

This is EXACTLY how I feel. I could have written your post.

LarkNow

Um, chiming in late here (blame the three hour time difference--some of your posts look like they were written at three in the morning for me), but I developed a serious case of the baby rabies like over the weekend.

DH and I are getting older, not old mind you, I'm still in my twenties, but I always wanted to be a young and fun mom, not an old and stodgy mom.  I realize that stodgy is a state of mind, but my parents were 31 when they had me and I always felt like they were so far removed from being children they really had no idea what it was like.  Now it seems like I'm headed that way myself.

We have a plan, and it is for me to "drop out" of school next year (possibly still work on the dissertation) and get a teaching job.  If I could do that, and despite Arnold firing all the teachers I am highly qualified (free and clear credential, 5 years classroom experience, I work with kids with disabilities which is in demand), then I can go off BC and we can start to try.  This year feels like it is going to last forever!

Then I think about the fact that once you have a baby, you can NEVER not have one.  That is it.  Your life is permanently changed.  And that scares me.

And none of my friends or family members have babies.  I have not even SEEN an infant in person in probably 5 years, when the co-worker of my ex-boyfriend invited us over to see his.

LarkNow

So, I went to go check it out.  Do I just not get it or is BOTB for people who had miscarriages, not for people who are thinking they want babies?  I might just keep with my stalking GP and 3rd trimester (I think that's the most exciting--right before the baby comes!).

RedZee

I really hope people are still looking at this post because I've been thinking about this a TON lately.

C definitely has baby fever. I have an elevated temperature but it might not be as high as his and might not completely qualify as feverish. We're talking about it a LOT. In many ways, we think we should go for it. We both realize that the timing will never be perfect. We're getting older (30 and almost 32). His parents had kids late and are now pretty old (FIL is 71) and we want them to be able to know our kids. We're feeling more ready. The people we're meeting now all have kids so we'd have a community. We weren't planning on waiting that long from now anyway.

The things that are stopping us are that we haven't had much time in the same place and we want to enjoy our time together. We haven't travelled together as much as we'd like to. We would like to have a bit more money. I'm in a weird place career-wise. While it's ideal for me to pregnant right now in many ways, it would not be ideal for me to go on job interviews pregnant and showing. Also, our place is still so disorganized we have no place to put a baby!

We regularly talk about when we'll start trying. We're not entirely sure we want to keep using BC because we'd basically be OK with just letting things play out. But then, we're both partly scared that it's not really the time for it and that we want more time alone together. It's just very confusing!

But I find myself stopping in the baby aisle at stores. We talk about kids all the time. Yesterday I was even thinking about being pregnant next year at this time so that I wouldn't have to fast on Yom Kippur!

But Angelfire - your post is serious birth control!!! Also, I think you should see an osteopath or chiropractor. It sounds like your bones moved from the muscle tension and the epidural and I bet they could help you a lot.

flowerpower3

If you go, I'll go!  lol

I've actually been guilty of lurking already (and on GP and on Baby Names...), but I haven't started a post or anything.  I feel like I SHOULD be there because I DO have "babies on the brain".  However, it seems like all the girls there are more than that...they have "babies on the brain" AND they're trying to get pregnant...I'm not there yet!

Savy _05

Im in my last semester of my nursing program, which it maternal-child so I have seen/talked about TONS or pregnancy and baby related thing... does put I thought in the head but I know we want to wait a little bit longer! haha.. so holding off until the time is right.

flowerpower3

That's how I feel, too.  Like I said, my mommy hormones are just raging lately, but when it comes down to it, I really wanna wait a couple years. 

Anyone wanna just TALK about babies? lol