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Women/Moms = 2nd class citizens?
I've got my knickers in a twist...and REALLY tight one regarding my mother & mil BOTH!
This weekend I was running FRANTIC, my MIL flew in open Friday, with that, a stream of her brothers and sisters ( who are local to me) came over, my brother, his wife & 2 kids came over too so there was LOTS of cooking and feeding and cleaning. My nieces left muddy hand prints every where and I had PILES of laundry to do. On top of that, Ella seems to pee out of her diaper every night, I think it?s from sleeping on her belly so I have to wash her sheets and mattress pad every day. So on Sunday, after schlepping MIL around, cooking and doing FIVE loads of laundry, oh yeah AND feeding, changing, burping my child, at 9 PM I bring the final load of laundry upstairs, dump it on the couch to start folding it, H is there so he picks up a tee shirt and folds it, and his mom goes, all proud like, ?Oh, you?re SUCH a great dad!? HUH??? He folded a fukking tee shirt! ONE! And he deserves a friggin medal for it???? I work 3 x 10 hour days (with NO break), 1 less day a week than he does, AND take classes on Tuesday nights, how come no one if giving me an damn award for helping finance our lifestyle?? And it?s not just his mom, I swear to god, if I have to hear my mom gush over him and tell me how ?lucky? I am to have him I?m going to throw up. Yes, he IS a good guy, yes, he?s a good dad, good husband and I totally appreciate it, BUT do you think they ever say to him, ?you know YOU?RE lucky to have Kristen???? Why is it that a guy does one thing and he?s a hero?a woman does twice the work (for 70% of the pay) and it?s just ?expected? of her. Pisses me off.
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
Re: Women/Moms = 2nd class citizens?
i'm not a mom but i totally hear you! i make sure to vocalize everything i'm doing at home and work otherwise it goes unnoticed. pisses me off that that's the way it is.
kuddos for being supermom
ugh - that is frustrating!
I tend to agree with this. MIL is pretty good, but when I talk to the older women at my work (who are around her age), the huge majority of them are shocked that Ben helps out with the cleaning (not as much as me, it's probably a 60:40 split, but he does help) and does a little cooking. One in particular actually thinks that he shouldn't be, because it's not "his duty"! (Then again, this is the same woman who was EXTREMELY vocal about a coworker of ours coming back to work after she had a baby, since she "should have stayed home to raise her child" - management actually had to tell the older lady to STFU.)
I agree, totally a generational thing. At the same time, I have girlfriends who are SAHM's who's husbands don't help out. When I ask them if they've talked to their H's about it, they say, "No, I feel bad because he works" ??!!??
Well, I do both and think that staying home is alot more stressful than being behind a desk. At least when you have a "job" to go to everyday, you clock in and clock out. When you're a SAHM, you don't get that luxury. If you quit your job tomorrow, someone else gets hied and does it, you can't really quit being a mom.
Cerclage placed @ 21w6d due to CI (IC)
Preachin to the choir!
Newlyweds since 2007
OP & this one make me so mad!!! Grrrr!!!