South Jersey Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
help-drug related
short story, a family member has unfortunately fallen on hard times and has a serious drug problem. she went thru what i call "mini rehab" (2 weeks) but it didn't take. she needs to get into a real program and get help. We are at a loss as to where to begin. we tried thru insurance but it has been difficult. If anyone has experience with this, we are open to all advice. thanks.
Re: help-drug related
1. Does she want help?
2. Recovery is not 2 weeks nor 20 weeks. It is a lifetime commitment. If she does not want help, does not want get clean for her self, nothing you can do, say or provide her will work.
That being said, where was she for 2 weeks? Did her insurance pay? Did the program or hospital refer somewhere else after discharge? Did she not follow up or not go? Did they not refer her because the insurance will not pay? If she has a private HMO you will find that drug and alcohol or mental health coverage is going to be sparse. She will most likely be eligible for outpatient visits only and will be eleigible for a certain # of visits per calendar year. If her insurance will not pay for in-patient services, the family will need to pay out of pocket for treatment.
1. Questionsable, she says she does but really got "caught" and didn't stop to get help.
2. She was in detox for a week then an overnight rehab for two weeks, paid by insurnce, but yes, they had a lot fo trouble with insurance and payment for this. I am not sure that she was referred anywhere but she has not sought a couselor, or sponsor since she has gotten out. Her husband put her in charge of setting up therapy (to give her a "task") and she never did it. No idea on payment of follow up services.
At his point $ would be an issue but i'm trying to get some ideas to give them as to just "get started". IMO she needs therapy, big time. Well her and her hsband do. But other than that i'm not sure what steps tot ake to find her a good place to find help. At least if we try to find her help, even if she doesnt want it, her husband (my family memeber) will feel like he did everything he could.
2 weeks is detox, not rehab. Like Anna said, recovery takes a lifetime of effort and unfortunately, if she's not ready it's not going to happen. Most insurance will not pay for long term, inpatient rehab. It will have to be paid out of pocket and is super expensive.
I recently had someone close to me go through an inpatient rehab program run by the Salvation Army. It's free, but they don't always have spots open and it is very, very time intensive. She'll have to make a 6 month commitment, at the least. You can email me kristylovesbriley@gmail.com if you want. Here is the link to info about the SA program http://www.use.salvationarmy.org/use/www_use.nsf/vw-text-dynamic-arrays/3388E5C4C9DA168185256F2E004B0576?openDocument
For rehab she can go to the Seabrook House or the Carrier Clinic. Both facilities are in NJ and are pretty solid from what I understand. A family member of mine was at the Carrier Clinic. I think it was about $500 a day out of pocket if I am not mistaken. This was quite a few years ago though so I would expect to pay more.
If she was inpatient for 2 weeks, the hospital or program would have discharged her with follow up care. This would mean that they either made an appointment for her and provided her the info or gave her the info in order to make an appointment herself.
Honestly, my guess is that she isn't ready to get clean and doesn't want the help. Any effort you put into saving her will be a waste of your time and energy and will leave you exhausted and disappointed.
She simply has to contact her insurance provider and ask for a list of counseling agencies in her zip code. They will provide her with the names and numbers. She can pick up the phone and make an appointment. It is not rocket science so if she hasn't done this yet she is not really looking for help. I could give you a list of agencies in the Cherry Hill area but you will be spinning your wheels getting no where with her.
She can also go to AA or NA meetings. They are free of charge.
Yeah i will be honest, she has never been a strong willed person and i am extrememly concerned about her ability to get thru this (aka, wanting help).
drug of choice was apparently percoset. the claim is that it came from post partum depression (sp?) yes, she has two beautiful daughters.
But now that she does not have access to percoset anymore i very much fear her going to any option she can get.
Thanks for the info, I am going to send a bunch of your suggestions to some of the fmaily to see what options might work best. It's really not my call but they are so overwhlemed by all of this i thought getting some info could be helpful. I really appreciate everything. thanks!
I am not a psychiatrist but will tell you that for post partum depression she would have been prescribed an SSRI most likely- think paxil, celexa, etc. A doctor woul dnot prescribe percocet for post partum depression. She may have had a limited supply of percocet if she delivered C section perhaps or had another complication during pregnancy. Personally, I would be really interested how she received percs from her doctor. Was it her ob/gyn or her pcp giving her percs? How long has she been using them? How many scripts does she get a month and how many pills does she take a day? Percs turn into oxys and oxys turn into heroin alot.
Unfortunately an opiate addiction is two fold. There is both a physical and psychological addiction to opiates. A person may be able to work through psychological dependence but not physical dependence or vice versa. Opiates, alcohol and benzodiazepines (xanax) all have physical/psychological dependence where as methamphetamine, cocaine, marijuana are onyl psychologically addictive. Getting her to kick percs will have to be her choice not yours or her family's. I am sorry that you are going through this.
she delivered very early and had complications (which is where i think the percs came from) the story is sketchy as to how the addition truely started. my understanding is that after the script ran out she was buying it illegally, for over a year. not exactly sure where or how and kinda would prefer not to know. she got 'caught" when some moeny issues came up, imagine that. so her desire to get clean is very much in question. I know she would never shoot up, so whatever she was doing was in pill form. I read up extensively on percs and oxy and herion when this all happened and i felt a more aggressive path should be taken, but again, not my call.
The whole point is her hubby and the kids and the question of when to walk away. i think we all need to feel like w gave it our "all" to help her, and if she doesnt want to get better at that point, we are walking away. He is just extremely overwhlemed by how to help her and what to do. i would love to have an outsideperson come in and help them, but i dont know how that works or if they would accept that.
I am lucky enough to have a couple of addicts in my family. I will tell you from both personal and professional experience that nothing will save her or help her except herself. I am sorry to say that I feel bad for the husband and the children. By staying with her, he is compromising not only himself but their children.
I commend you for wanting to give it your all and do whatever you can to help her. I would agree with you if I didn't actually see addiction Monday through Friday. Since I see it everyday, when it comes to my personal life and those close to me are afflicted with addiction I do not help. Literally, I walk away. When they are ready to get help I will be there but until then I have nothing for them at all. I hate to sound cold and callous but an addiction ruins the lives of not only the addict but the people closest to them. I believe in self preservation.
When she is ready for help than by all means you can avail yourself.
i totally hear you. and for myself, i feel very much like you do. My efforts are solely for my cousin and our family in the hopes that they can somehow get thru this. He is desparatly trying to hold his marriage together (comes from divorce and swore up and down he never would) and it kills me to see him so torn apart. he has yet to reach the end of his rope, but i can see it not too far away.
I refuse to be an actual part of the assistance other than to babysit for my nieces if need be.
(in my mind it's not a matter of IF but WHEN this all goes to ***, will my cousin be ok?)