Please help me not be super awkward

Young_Love

So, I am notoriously awkward when it comes to sensitive situations. I honestly have NO IDEA what the right thing to do is when bad things are happening to other people. 

Well, this CW of mine who I really like just got some very sad and upsetting news about his wife's pregnancy and he is just (obviously) broken up about it. I was just standing there like an awkward turtle while he was telling me.

I want to do something to let him know that I am thinking about him / his wife / his baby and show my support, but I have NO IDEA what is appropriate.

If you just got very upsetting news about your pregnancy, what would you want / expect / like a CW to do? Or would you not want them to do anything?

I know even ASKING this question is awkward, but I am SUCH a mess at this sort of thing, I really need some direction here.  

themarshmalo

The simpler the better. "I'm so sorry - I'm always here if you need to talk or need help."

Young_Love

I'm such a spaz about this that I just gchatted StephanieDeanne thinking it was my CW Stephanie asking for advice.

Thanks for the answer, Marshy.  

StephanieDeanne

Young_Love:

I'm such a spaz about this that I just gchatted StephanieDeanne thinking it was my CW Stephanie asking for advice.

Thanks for the answer, Marshy.  

 

I am glad I could help 

ssinca

I'm an AT when it comes to this stuff, too - maybe just a card?

pinkpuffyhearts

Not sure if there is anything you can give. I think the important thing to make sure of is to be careful about what you say. When I had my m/c, the last thing I wanted to hear was anyone trying to downplay it or tell me everything would be ok. Who ever came up with the saying, "Everything happens for a reason" should be punched in the throat.

kimarino13

If it were me, I would probably like a really sincere and heartfelt, "I am so sorry for your loss."  Just let him know you're there to talk/listen anytime and I am sure he'll appreciate it.

weemz

I have no advice, but I'm here to let you know that you are not alone in your awkwardness.

LuckyYoungBride

pinkpuffyhearts:

Not sure if there is anything you can give. I think the important thing to make sure of is to be careful about what you say. When I had my m/c, the last thing I wanted to hear was anyone trying to downplay it or tell me everything would be ok. Who ever came up with the saying, "Everything happens for a reason" should be punched in the throat.

Ditto. Just avoid any cliche sayings. Yuck.

themarshmalo

pinkpuffyhearts:

Not sure if there is anything you can give. I think the important thing to make sure of is to be careful about what you say. When I had my m/c, the last thing I wanted to hear was anyone trying to downplay it or tell me everything would be ok. Who ever came up with the saying, "Everything happens for a reason" should be punched in the throat.

OMG if I can give ANY advice, NEVER EVER EVER say that in a situation like m/c, death, etc. You may think it is comforting, but I personally wanted to strangle anyone who said that to me. "I'm so sorry," is all you ever need to say. In most cases, people don't want to talk about it anyway, and the more brief you can be, while showing empathy, the better.

Young_Love

Thanks for the advice ladies. I'm probably just going to drop him a little note that says that I am thinking about him and sending good vibes out in the universe for him, his wife, and their baby. Does that sound ok?

zeesbride

Young_Love:

Thanks for the advice ladies. I'm probably just going to drop him a little note that says that I am thinking about him and sending good vibes out in the universe for him, his wife, and their baby. Does that sound ok?

 i think that sounds good!

ajones1

zeesbride:

Young_Love:

Thanks for the advice ladies. I'm probably just going to drop him a little note that says that I am thinking about him and sending good vibes out in the universe for him, his wife, and their baby. Does that sound ok?

 i think that sounds good!

Agreed. I was going to suggest just a card or note saying that you're thinking about them and sending them good thoughts and if you're comfortable with it, letting him know that you're around if he needs to vent/talk/scream, etc.

Wan-naBe

i can tell you from experience that the best thing to do is simply let that person know that you're thinking of them.  i was so grateful when i went through my miscarriage when the few people who knew of my pregnancy didn't tiptoe around it and just said a few words that told me they cared.