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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Temper Tantrums...
It seems like Brianna is throwing temper tantrums everyday, all day even at the littlest things. Part of me wonders if its just her age, or if its something we are doing wrong for her to act out like this. So heres my question... what do you do when your child throws a tantrum? Do you ignore it all together like he/she isn't even there? Or respond by saying " No, you are not going to act like this"?? I really have no idea what to do when shes like this! My thinking is to ingnore her because she just wants attention and there isn't anything physically wrong with her that would actually warrant my attention. Help!
Re: Temper Tantrums...
ugh, jude is doing the SAME thing. ?there are some days i swear all he does all day is scream. ?and now chucking his toys, or smacking people has entered into the mix. ?for the most part, i ignore him - or just say really calmly 'you can be mad if you want to, but you just can't have/do _____'. ?if he is throwing/hitting, then i don't ignore, but tell him that's not ok, blah blah.
if i'm in one room, say the kitchen, and he's freaking about something, sometimes i will pick him up and put him in another room - and tell him he can scream if he wants to, but i don't want to hear it. ?and i try to really praise him when he DOES react appropriately. ?the key seems to just stay calm - there are some times when i have no patience left when i find myself sounding/getting aggravated and saying (almost yelling) 'NO!' or whatever, and that just fuels the fire.
i think it's definitely just the age - and as they get more words, and can express themselves better, it will get better. ?now i just have to stop dh from laughing at him when he does it....oy.
i find this stage is really hard - they need the discipline, but are too young to really 'get' a lot of explanation/consequence/etc. ? i just try to stay consistent, and definitely not give in to him all the time, so he doesn't develop it as a way to get what he wants. ?
how was the road trip??
Alex isn't there yet, but I can see it coming. He kind of cries and folds himself into a ball on the floor, just crumples, when we say no. (he MIGHT be a little bit spoiled)
I'm definitely keeping an eye on this thread.
It's gotten crazy with Jakob too, the littlest things seems to send him into HYSTERICS lately! He's always been a mild-mannered kid until recently, I think his acting out has alot to do with Caroline and her increased prescence to him now that she's getting mobile, if that makes sense! I've started time-outs with him and they seem to be helping a little bit...... I'm trying to teach him that when he pitches a fit like that, he's not going to get what he's after by doing it (attention and/or whatever it is he wants at that moment). I'm not sure if this is the "right" way to do them, but it's what I have started off with.
I picked a kinda secluded spot in the house for him to sit quietly (on the bottom step of the flight that goes upstairs - which is over in the corner of our livingroom). When I do this, all distractions are removed - the TV is not on and he can't bring a toy over there with him. I walk him over there and I tell him to sit quietly until he's ready to listen to mommy. He sometimes starts off in hysterics, but it doesn't seem to take long with no distractions for him to start calming himself down. Once he does, I wait another minute or two and then I go and sit next to him and calmly talk about whatever happened and explain the situation (as best I can to a 2 year old, ha!). I also give him a hug and a kiss and tell him that I love him before we continue on with normalcy........
Good luck and please share with me any strategies that you might find that work too!
Oh Maura, I know where you're at. We went through what seemed like a week of temper tantrum after temper tantrum- kicking, screaming, laying on the floor- you name it. Like everything with toddlers, it is a stage and it is TOTALLY normal.
Sometimes I can nip them in the bud. Sometimes I can't. Unless she is hitting or harming someone, I ignore her. During the really bad ones (this has happened once that I can think of), I told her she needed to calm down or I was putting her in her crib. I wound up having to put her in the crib. After 15 minutes of screaming over nothing and her throwing herself around the room, she needed a change of scenery. Literally 3 minutes later she had stopped crying and was ready to move on.
A tip I have learned- talk less, speak boldly, make what you say count. I know tooo many people who rationalize with toddlers, not gonna work out. Meanwhile all they hear is "wooomp wooomp wooomp (insert name)". I was encouraged to use consistant short phrases- from other moms/pedi.
"We don't hit", "Be gentle to your friend/baby/doll", "Look with your eyes".
I can go on and on and on. Hang in, it does get better!
oh yes, vinny is so there lord help me because some days i want to go into the room and scream into a pillow... and hes takes anything tony has every. single. day. constantly! its rough and he thinks what i say is a joke....
but like the others if hes not beating up tony or tossing toys at people or th tv, i ignore it. otherwise i attempt to correct the issue. usually i can fix it right away, but theres been a few times weve had time out a couple times....
glad im not the only one
Kaitlyn has tantrums just about every day. Usually when I've told her "no" about something. She starts off with a wail, which progresses to plopping on the floor. Then she starts to scream, throws herself into a laying position on the floor and pounds her hands and feet as she rolls around. Thank goodness she hasn't done it in public yet, but I'm sure our time will come.
When she does it I just say, "ok, you can get upset. You just let me know when you're done" and I ignore her. Usually it's over in a min or so as soon as she realizes she's not going to get what she's looking for. She's too young and doesn't understand rationalization, so we don't really bother talking too much about what has happened ... but I will say, "Remember, we don't kick the dog, it's not nice" or something like that.
What a perfect day for this, Owen has been pitching a fit all morning! A huge part of it at this age is frustration over their inability to communicate. Especially b/c they understand so much more than they can verbalize. It is very frustrating to them & they don't have a way to show it.
It depends on what it is. If he is throwing his food while eating I say "no, we don't throw our food". I will do that 3 times. If he throws it again, I say "ok, you are all done. You can try again in a few minutes.". Take him out of his seat & he can try eating again in a few minutes. Most other things I just ignore. I wish I could do timeouts, but I think he is too young. When he is having a total meltdown (as he is right now), I put him in his crib for a few minutes. He is safe, I get a break & he usually calms down quickly. Often he falls asleep.
Good luck!