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Need a reality check...

So my boss had a baby shower today, and it was basically an hour of adorable baby girl clothes, blankets, and toys.  The whole time I was shopping for her, and the whole time at the shower, I was feeling the baby pangs... I want one!!!

 Then I had to reality check myself- I have only been married for 4 months- I want some quality time with DH, just the two of us- before we expand the family!   Also, my salary is currently supporting both of us as he is law school, so it's financially not a good time either.  Speaking of law school, who knows if he will get a job in May when he graduates, and who knows where it will be?  He wants to work in government, so that means we could stay here in Harrisburg for the state, or he could get a federal job, which would move us to Philly or DC.  Not the most certain future to bring a baby into. 

Buuuuuuut..... all the little pink shoes and little dresses still made me think about how much I want a baby.  This in-between time is so strange- knowing how much I want a baby, and knowing how much now is not the right time for us.  

Sorry for the very long post, I needed to ramble a little to get all my thoughts out.  Thanks to all of you who made it all the way to the end of my rant! 

Re: Need a reality check...

  • For obvious reasons, I avoid baby showers. :(

    But it is good to make sure that you are comfortable (I agree, things are a little uneasy with your DH's job!), but make sure that you keep in mind that if you wait for the "right" time, there will never be a right time.

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  • I think most newlyweds know this feeling at some point in the game!  It's good that you're thinking rationally about it, and I am a big believer in the idea that regardless of how long you've been together pre-marriage, you do need some "just us" married time.  DH and I felt that this was really important, despite having been together for four years prior to getting married, and I wouldn't change that decision for the world - it was a wonderful time of enjoying being married and really learning how to work as a team with the everyday things.

    However, I will say that I agree with Abbie that there is no "right" time... some that may be better than others, but never an entirely perfect right time.  My DH has a career that can lead us wherever it wants, and that thought alone was enough to get us really thinking about starting our family - we want our parents to get the chance to experience being grandparents (we're both the oldest children in our families), and without knowing where the future will lead us... Well, anyway, it's an entirely personal decision that you and your H have to make, based on when it's right for YOU.  In the meantime, enjoy your H and your time together!

     

  • I feel you! I've wanted to be a mother all of my life and now that we are settled, it so tempting to go down that alley. We're actually in a similar situation. We just got married about a month ago, and DH is in school FT for is engineering degree, so I get to have two jobs and support our household. 

     I went off any birth control last month, because even if I do get pregnant, we will just work through it like anything else, but I TOTALLY understand where you're coming from!  

  • I agree with everyone else, there is no "right" time to have a baby. I get that feeling too when I shop for baby gifts or go to showers, that I'm ready. I've been married a little over a year and I really feel that its time. But I am glad we didn't do it right away because I do think it is nice to have a little "married" time first, you will never get to be newlyweds again. So just enjoy your time a s a newlywed for a little.
  • i feel the exact same way... we're just trying to hold off until next year!
  • I'm in full baby-wanting mode!  We've been married just over 2 years, and we decided we're ready.  DH is in the police academy and might be deploying, but we still decided to go ahead with our plans to start ttc.  My mom always says if you wait, you'll never have kids.... so true. 

    (by the way, now that i've got botb, i see pregnant women and little babies EVERYWHERE... weird!)

  • Yeah... I know there is no "right" time, but one thing is for sure- this is the wrong time.  As much as I wish it were as right as it gets, I know we are not ready- socially, emotionally, financially, etc.  We have talked about it a lot, and I think we will start to think about it around 2 years from now...
  • if it makes you feel better, i had baby fever a few months after we got married too.  We're just passed our 2nd anniv. and we're just now trying (it went in phases... you'll see.)  Glad you made the decision that's right for your family! :)
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