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Post TG mini-rant...
One of my pet peeves is children who have not been taught (or refuse to use) courtesy and manners. It?s not difficult to have a child say ?please?, ?thank you?, ?excuse me?. I adore my nephews and niece but my niece?s lack of good manners drives me bonkers! It?s always, ?I want that??, ?Bring me that??. She 4 ? and I have *never* heard her say ?please? or ?thank you??nor have I heard her parents encourage her to do so! She also doesn?t have any regard for other people?s homes or property, she obviously ignores her parents when they attempt to correct her. Granted, the fact that they are extremely passive in the discipline department doesn?t help.
I know it bothers them when I correct her, but please, the girl was spitting out nearly every mouthful of food she put into her mouth, was ordering adults around, and driving toy cars up my ILs walls! I told her that if she wanted to come visit auntie?s house, and eat at auntie?s house (which she really, really wants to do), she had to stop doing those things b/c it?s not allowed where I live. I told her that, if she doesn?t say ?please? I will not get anything for her, and if she spits out food, she will have to leave the table. She got all upset and started crying and my SIL looked like she wanted to scratch my eyes out. I wasn?t bothered by the wailing, it?s such a manipulative ploy?and she uses it alot to get her way. Then SIL then mentioned 3 times that they haven?t been invited to see our new house?well wonder why!
Vent over Man, I LOVE family get togethers! lol
Re: Post TG mini-rant...
I don't blame you at all. I think my SIL is a great mom, but there are different rules at our house than the girls are used to at home. Luckily though, SIL recognizes that her house with 3 kids is a bit different than our child free home and fully supports our rules when they're at our house.
Good manners in a child is so important. Good manners on an adult is so important - I think it was one of the things that impressed me about D when we first met and continues to impress me.
I don't blame you at all either.
Yes DS is only 2 and yes I have heard of the terrible two's but if one more member of DH's family tells us that we shouldn't push him to be polite I think that I will lose it.
Like Amy said, it's a little different when we are at home with some of the general rules but we always make it clear that at other peoples houses that we are on our best behavior. I was so proud on Sunday when after he finished his dinner at DH's cousins house he asked if he could please get down and then ran into the kitchen and gave DH's cousin and aunt a big hug and said "thank you for the good dinner". They both told me that I didn't need to make him do that as he was so young but the thing was I didn't say anything to him.......
We may have the same family members?
My aunts 3 boys are the same way. They never say please or thank you it?s like you said I want ? get me this?.grrr! it drives me up the wall!
What doesn?t help is that as you mentioned with your SIL the parents are not correcting them either.
What was ?FUN? was when the parents were outside and kid # 3 whose 3.5 years old was misbehaving, I sat him on the couch and said that unless he was going to play nice he wasn?t allowed to move ? well he got up, held one finger to my face and in a very angry firm tone said ?You don?t talk to me that way, I don?t like you? and walked away.
Ummm?..ya! if that was my kid O.M.G
I think that good manners are important with anyone but especially with a child (before they forget everything during the teen years)!
And proud you should be...sounds like you have a 'little angel' on your hands. It's never "too young" in my eyes...
My nephews (my sister?s kids) have wonderful manners and, besides that, are just nice kids. They have always been courteous, and apologized when they were not. When Ash was younger, a woman in the grocery store stopped me to tell me what a polite little boy he was! I didn?t know that well-behaved children were such a rarity! lol Even our hyper active little Andy-Roo politely corrects kids (and adults on occasion) when he catches them not watching their p?s and q?s. I guess it?s good that I stick to my guns when it comes to expectations of behaviour (especially at our home). We don?t live in a museum by any stretch, but you?ve gotta have rules!
I agree with you about the lack of manners... my son is 18 months old and I'm teaching him to say please and thank you. He doesn't always do it but he's getting better, and by 4 years old I'm sure it'll be habit.
The car thing confuses me though... is it really that horrible to drive a plastic toy car up a wall? When I'm playing with my son in his play room we often drive the cars on the floor, on other toys, on furniture, and up walls. It makes it more interesting... I didn't realize anyone would frown upon that. It's not like it damages anything.
Parents can do whatever they like in their own homes. And playrooms are pretty much fair game! lol I certainy wouldn't want to encourage adults to stifle the creativity and play of a child but, I don't think that toys belong on walls or furniture. A few years ago I didn't feel that way, until I made the mistake of allowing my nephews to play with their cars on my coffee table and it ended up getting all scratched up!
I agree besides...trucks don't drive up on walls anyways. lol
I don't like it either...toys belong on the floor. What may not scratch at your home may do so at mine and it doesn't matter - it's MY home and if I don't like it either a) don't come over or b) just dont do it.
As kids we were not allowed to do this either - it's just "not nice" in other peoples homes. Same goes for running around...are you prepared to pay & replace whatever they break? what if it was a great/great/grandmothers ta.da.dw.da??? I wouldn't want that on my shoulders..
Yes play but stay in a specifc area where I can keep a constant eye on you. again but in my home I'd allow my kids to be more free because whatever is damaged or happens is for me to deal with.
I think it goes both ways when it comes to what kids can and can't do at different people's houses. I don't expect our nieces and nephews to remember the rules at our house vs their own home vs my parents house vs daycare etc. So when they are here if they are doing something that is against our rules then I kindly tell them that. If they are doing something that is against their parents rules and I know it is then I let them know not to do xyz.
Our home isn't toddler proofed so if we are having them over and they are playing (not doing anything crazy) and something gets broken I can not really blame them or their parents. It is my fault for not put something out of their reach while they are here.
Perhaps it is a bit different since our nieces and nephews are young (under 2.5) so they are still learning. If they were older I would expect more from them.