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A WWYD for Monday
So I know I?m fairly new to the board, but I?m putting myself out on a limb here but I?m curious what you ladies think and I promise not to sue if you say anything negative.
A friend of mine has disowned me. She hasn?t said a word about what I did to make her angry or anything. Just deleted and blocked me from FB and blocked my email. Now, to be fair she has an 2 ? month old baby and her husband is probably going to be deployed in the next few months so she is understandably emotional.
Our last somewhat uncomfortable encounter was when she asked me to come up and visit her and the baby for the weekend (she lives about 2 hours away) and I couldn?t do it because school was just starting for both the Princess and I and financially it was difficult for me to adjust my obviously tiny single mother?s budget to drive down there. She acted as though it didn?t bother her, and the same weekend her married and childless friend was able to visit. We have talked a few times since then but I was giving her space because her husband was home for a brief time before going back for training then deployment so I wasn?t keeping up daily contact. I sent her a text to check up with her yesterday and heard nothing back, and then today this.
Should I just let it go and accept that I upset her to the point that she obviously doesn?t want to be friends with me after knowing each other for nearly 9 years? Or should I at least send an email asking for an explanation? I am not narcissistic enough to believe that everyone should think the sun shines out of my arse, but when I call someone a friend for so long and they choose to blow me off like a bad one night stand, I?d at least like to know why.
So I ask OC Nesties, wwyd?
Re: A WWYD for Monday
i'd call her and ask her what's up. it does sound like she's written you off, but there's got to be more behind it. 9 years is a long time to be someone's friend to just cut them off in the span of a weekend.
her attitude during the phone call would tell me if it's worth saving or not.
Are you sure that she blocked you on FB and email? Or assuming? Maybe she just deactivated her account?
But if not, I would just write her an email not necessarily asking for an explanation, but something more along the lines of "I've been wondering how you are...blah blah...I hope you're not upset with me, but I've been feeling like you are, and I'm in the dark as to why....blah blah...if you feel like talking, I'd love that, but if not, I'll leave it up to you...blah blah."
An email is the most I would do, and if she doesn't respond, then there isn't much left for you to do. Sadly, it happens. Me and my MOH don't even speak much anymore, just text every other month or something.
I would call, but it sounds like she'd ignore it if she saw your number. I had a friend who dumped me several years ago; the dumping became clear when she would never answer or return any of my calls, but did pick up when I called from H's cell phone instead. Then she got off the phone as quickly as she could when she realized it was me.
Having been in a similar situation, I'm sorry you're going through this. It sucks.
I'm friends with 15 other people she's friends with and I can't see her. I asked my closest friend out of that bunch and she said they are still friends. Her sister is friends with me and said she has no idea what's going on with her and me either.
:-(
Ugh, I'm sorry. That really does stink. =(
Mashy, you are so nice!
If you do this, be sure to include your return address. It would be pretty rude to send a nice card and give her no way to get back in touch with you.
I am really sorry you're going through this. A good friend of mine disowned me after 15 years of friendship last year. It was sad, but, if she didn't want to be friends anymore, I couldn't force her.
The good that came out of the breakup was that I discovered I had other friends who really cared about me, and losing a friend -- even a best friend -- was not the end of the world.
But, yeah, it's very tough, and it's not something I'd wish on anybody. I hope you have better results.
HB - I told her I couldn't do it that weekend (she asked me on the Tuesday prior) but would love to do it sometime after her husband left so she would have something to look forward to. I have met her baby, she has yet to meet my 6 year old daughter. I have spoken with her at least 4 times since the weekend thing and never did she mention being upset about anything. We sent several texts back and forth not more than a week ago about her baby and how she was holding up, and she didn't mention anything then either. That's why I'm so upset. She has caught me completely off guard and has even blocked my phone number and asked one of my best friends to not get in the middle. I have no idea what she would be in the middle of. It's truly a head scratcher.
Marshy - My first instinct would be to send a card under normal circumstances, but this just reeks of crazy flakes to me and I refuse to act like I've been a bad friend when I in fact have not been.
YL - Very rude indeed, good thing I was brought up right.
Weemz - ((hugs)) Boys have it so easy...they can just punch each other and be fine afterward. I'm sorry about your friend. That sucks.
If she has never even met your six year old daughter and you have known her for longer than that she does not seem like that good of a friend. Maybe it's for the better. I am sorry for the confusion and hurt she has caused you. I know it's hard not to know the answer but if you have that many friends in common you are probably going to find out eventually.
Some people seem to change when they have kids. She may be one of those people. I had a really good friend who's life was all about her kids and we eventually drifted apart. I was sad not to have her in my life anymore but luckily I have plenty of friends who are better able to balance kids/friends/life.
Yeah, can't stand that. If someone is pissed off at you, they should address it with you directly rather than play some stupid silent treatment games.
I?m so sorry Pinky, this situation does sound a bit crazy. I can?t believe the lengths she is going to in order to ruffle your feathers. It?s pretty immature and I would be caught off guard as well. Since she prefers the text method of communicating, I would send her a text that says ?Hi, hope you?re doing well. Can we talk? Please call me.? Or something like that, so the ball is in her court. It?s bizarre that she has blocked your phone number, so you calling her is out of the question. She is being so passive aggressive and that would just frustrate me to no end.
Also, it?s not like you blew off her weekend suggestion, you just told her that particular weekend wouldn?t work out and you?d do it after her DH left. So, if she got in a huff over that, it's ridiculous. I am sorry this is happening to you, what a headache. In the end, if she doesn?t respond to you, I would just let it go and move on. As hard as it is, it?s not worth your time and effort to deal with this kind of childish nonsense. Good luck and hugs!