Not exchanging gifts with family?

liserloo

Last year, my sisters & brothers-in-law decided we should do a secret santa type thing so we didn't have to buy so many gifts (there are 8 of us all together). It went great last year but this year they don't want to do gifts at all- which I was ok with since they all have kids now and we'd rather spoil them anyway. However DH and I do not have kids so they are all still going to get us something. I feel awkward about that. I'd rather them not get us stuff so we aren't the only ones opening things besides the kids. What would you do?

LolitaC

Thank them and tell them that you'd rather they spend the money on the kids instead.

Dr.Loretta

I guess you need to decide if you just want to cave to make them happy or put your foot down and make them upset. I've been trying for 2 years to tell my parents I don't want any more crap in my house for my birthday/Christmas, but they insist on getting me something anyway. I've started to be very specific about the small gift that I would like, so they're happy and I don't clutter up my house *too* much

To be honest, this is a refreshing post compared to a lot of childless couples who are PO'd that they don't get any gifts (and have to shell out for other people's children) because they don't have any kids.

EastCoastBride

Dr.Loretta:

To be honest, this is a refreshing post compared to a lot of childless couples who are PO'd that they don't get any gifts (and have to shell out for other people's children) because they don't have any kids.

I thought the same thing.

All you can do is just stress that you realyl would rather not get any gifts. You dont' want to be singled out.

however, if they still do it- just graciously accept and move on.  Don't feel you have to reciprocate.  They are making this choice for themselves.

EastCoastBride

Dr.Loretta:

To be honest, this is a refreshing post compared to a lot of childless couples who are PO'd that they don't get any gifts (and have to shell out for other people's children) because they don't have any kids.

I thought the same thing.

All you can do is just stress that you realyl would rather not get any gifts. You dont' want to be singled out.

however, if they still do it- just graciously accept and move on.  Don't feel you have to reciprocate.  They are making this choice for themselves.

guy'sgirl

For years my family has all pitched in to give money to a charity instead of presents.  We still get small presents for the young kids, but giving to charity in the name of our family is a great solution.  We all give what we can, there is no minimum or expected amount.  maybe you can tell your family to give to a charity and you can pitch in too.

littlwing

we have similar situation with H's family. His sister has two boys and we buy them gifts, but we don't trade amongst the adults. My SIL always feels bad that we buy for their kids, but we don't have kids for them to buy for. So instead she gives us gifts from the kids. Usually, its some kind of photo album, or calendar of our nephews from the prior.

Dr.Loretta

littlwing:

we have similar situation with H's family. His sister has two boys and we buy them gifts, but we don't trade amongst the adults. My SIL always feels bad that we buy for their kids, but we don't have kids for them to buy for. So instead she gives us gifts from the kids. Usually, its some kind of photo album, or calendar of our nephews from the prior.

Actually, this sounds like a great idea. Tell them you want gifts from the kids, either bought or homemade. I got a stack of drawings my nephew made for my birthday last year, and it was adorable.

liserloo

Oh that's a great idea. I think they'd go for that- And I know we'd like that much better too! If they insist on getting us something, I think that's a great way to go about it. It melts my heart when I get cards in the mail with my nieces scribbles on it and my SIL write (love A) under the scribble lol.

DFico21

How about asking them to buy a toy for a less fortunate child to donate instead of buying each of you a gift? 

suzymarie

I think that is fine.

You don;t have kids, they all do. So of course they feel bad that you are buying stuff for their kids, and getting nothing in return.