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Gift Giving
I'm trying to organize myself so I created a list of the gift giving 'must haves.' The list came to 17 people including the 'Secret Santa' groups we're in, parents, grandparents and the select 2 aunts that I've always exchanged gifts with. With the secret santas, we are both in 1 for $75 and 1 for $100 (total $350!) - one is with my siblings (6 people total) and 1 is for his entire family (like 20 people incl. aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc).
I am feeling really stuck because that is a lot of money right out the shute and we still have 13 other people to buy for! Last year, we didn't have as many gifts to buy because we weren't married yet so we bought DH's cousins kids each a little something (4 kids at $20 each). Note: these 4 kids are not currently listed in the 13 other people we have to buy gifts for.
Here's the question: Do you think because we bought those kids something last year we're inclined to buy them something this year?
...I feel horrible asking but we really can't afford to spend a lot of money on gifts this year because we're travelling up North to spend it with DH's family (cost will be around $400 - we were able to use points for the hotel room)...but I still feel inclined to buy for the same people as last year...
Second question: Who do you buy Christmas gifts for? Where do you draw the line and how much do you typically spend on each person (i.e. parents v. grandparents, etc)?
Re: Gift Giving
Question 1: Yes, even if it's something small
Question 2: We stopped the insanity on my end and picked names. Especially because incomes are variable for my siblings, so forcing people to give gifts to everyone gets ridiculous. At this point we buy/make small gifts for my 4 nephews and one niece (I'm talking a $20 train set or a handmade hat), and one adult that we pick through Elfster. And my grandma. On DH's side, they even stopped picking names, because everyone got each other GCs and it was like paying yourself every Christmas. The kids get each other presents (pick names), and we are only responsible for DH's mom and grandmother.
As for how much we spend, we spend less than $25 on each kid, $200 on MIL, $50 on DH's grandma and my grandma, and whatever we decide on that year for our Elfster person (usually around $100)
Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
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Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
1. I agree you should buy them something. I like Rachie's game idea. Walmart is going to do over 100 toys at 10. Not sure of the ages.
2. I buy for 18 people plus my sister's b-day is Dec. 21st so 19 really. I try to keep it to 30 each and around 200 for him. So 740.
I think you should get them something even if its small. I really like the PP about giving them a group gift if they're siblings.
I have a big family and just on my mom's side if we were to buy gifts for everyone it would be for over 20 people. Years ago, as the family grew, we started drawing names for presents. All 13 of the grandkids names get thrown into a hat and each kid picks one name. This way all of us "kids" get a gift and it seriously cuts down the cost of gift giving every year. All of the adults names (sans grandparents) goes into a different hat and they do the same thing. Typically theres a $20 limit on the gifts. It works really well for our family and its fun to see who's name you draw.
My advice - if you're doing a secret santa w/ your siblings, then do it w/ YOUR entire family too. Not just your siblings. And is there anyone on his side who is a part of the secret santa exchange but you also give a seperate gift to? If so, then knock that person off the individual list.
DH's parents did that the first year. We do a secret santa w/ both sides of our families together, and his parents still got us something else, and DH was like "Oh- we need to et them something". I said "no" because that's the WHOLE POINT of the secret santa - we dont' do individual gifts w/ anyone!
Also- how is your beign married or not married affecting who you give gifts to? That makes no sense to me.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Well, it will be a little easier to make suggestions if you list out who all you are giving to and why, and how much you plan to spend on them.
For us, we have stopped getting some cousins gifts. These were cousins that we saw once/year (if that) at xmas, so it seemed silly to get them a gift when we didn't even have a relationship with them.
We have whittled our list down to:
-each other (~50$ each)
-DS (~50$)
MIL, FIL (30$ each)
GMIL (20)
My G'ma and G'pa (joint gifts will all the grandchildren so cost is small, ~10$
My mom and dad (30$ each)
We used to excange with probably 20 people and it was just crazy. For us, we still do things and spend time together at the holidays with all the other relatives, we just don't buy them stuff.
Question 1: I would say Christmas is for the kids....so I would definitely put them on the list. But I also really like the idea of a group gift or 2 if you can.
Question 2: We buy presents for about 20 people, but 3 of them are kids. That doesn't include the secret santa or ornament exchanges that we do. It's not terrible. I start buying presents in early October to stretch out the spending. Also, I like to get half off gift cerificates when I can!
That's your decision. If you don't want to start that trend, then stop now. It sucks you already bought for them once so they will expect it again, but it will only get harder to quit and there will most likely be more kids added along the way.
We currently buy for our siblings/spouse, parents, grandparents, and my one uncle bc he is more like my father. We spend $50 on our siblings/spouse, $100 on each set of parents, $30 - 40 on each of our grandparents (we only have 1 grandma/nana on each side), and $20 on my uncle.
We don't do the whole cousins and aunts/uncles bc it's too much. Just on my mom's side I have 6 aunts/uncles, 11 cousins, and 10 second cousins. And Dh is from a big Italian family so we are not capable of buying for everyone.
I agree with buying them a group gift.
We buy for our children, our nieces and nephew, our parents, grandmothers (I have 2, he has none), our siblings (he has 2, I have none) and our kids' teachers. We have a couple of random gifts each year like work party or church party gifts, but never more than 4 or 5.