WWYD??

alaggie07

I have a dilemna...mostly because I can't decide what I want to do... My family always has Thanksgiving at my brothers house in Dallas because my 2 brothers that live down there have a hard time getting off both Thanksgiving and Christmas and my parents would rather them be here for Christmas.  My parents, H and I and my sister and brother (both married with kids) live here as well as my Hs family.  My H works retail and always has to work the day after Thanksgiving so there is no way as long as he is in this job that he will be able to go with me for Thanksgiving.  It is our first big holiday together and I don't want to spend it away from him but it doesn't seem fair that I have to give up my family every Thanksgiving...  He says that I should just go, that he will be working the whole weekend and he doesn't want to be the person to take me away from my family.  I am torn I really don't want to leave him as I would like to spend Thanksgiving day together but then again I would really like to be with my family...

I don't know what to do..WWYD?

TIA!

red daisy

I'm in a similar situation- my DH also works retail and we live 300 miles from either of our families so the holidays are always an issue.  My Mom is really touchy about christmas, so this year we decided to invite them to our place for Thanksgiving... My brother (who lives an additional 100 miles further away from where they live) isn't going to come, but my parents are coming to us for Thanksgiving and then we will head up there for Thanksgiving.  DH isn't as close to his family so we are not going to see them at all this year for the holidays.  Probably will next year though.

If I was you I would probably stay with DH.  I have gone home without mine before and I know it bugs him.  It just sucks having to pick sides!

vhcoleman09

Could you spend Thanksgiving with DH and the rest of the weekend with your family?

alaggie07

That's the other thing, money is tight so if I went with my family I would have to ride with my parents (its about a 5 hour drive).  All the girls in my family get up early on black Friday and go shopping, which is the main reason I want to go with my family haha!   So I wouldn't want to miss that...

hawkilady

In your case, I would stay with DH.  Can you work out some sort of alternating so one year you host Thanksgiving and your parents/siblings stay and then the next they go to Dallas and you stay with DH? 

I hate missing holidays with my family but the only fair way for us to do it was to alternate.  So one year we go to my family (about a 6 hour drive) for thanksgiving and stay here for Xmas and flip flop the next year.  Now we will still always go home for Xmas too but it will just be a week later or whatever.  Its a pain to coordinate and its worked the last couple years but I'm not sure what we will do when we have kids. 

I dont really think its fair because we live in the same city with DH's parents and could easily reschedule that but going to my family requires at least a weekend trip.  Plus I just like my family's traditions better -- we make a huge Thanksgiving dinner, I go Black Friday shopping at 5 am with my mom and sister, its good to get to see all my friends from HS.  Here we dont really do anything.  I'm making dinner this year for Thanksgiving because the last 2 times I've stayed here its been horrible -- dinner out of a box and catered.  Not what I think of as traditional.  The day after Thanksgiving i'm forcing Dh to go shopping with me super early -- I bribed him by telling him we could finally buy the big screen tv he wants with some wedding money.  Its just not as fun.

 

clarisa_b

I would probably spend it with DH if I was in your shoes, there's always next year right?

mofe

I'm opposite and say go be with your family.  Your DH has to work that weekend anyway and so this gives you a chance to spend time with your family.  Why not have your own Thanksgiving either earlier or later with your DH instead. 

alaggie07

Thanks everyone.  I am not sure what I will do still but I am leaning towards going with my family.  Things have been getting crazy, there is 17 people in my immediate family (parents, 3 brothers (so 3 sil), 1 sister (1 bil), and 7 kids) so it is hard to cordinate time together.  I was talking to my mom and this might be one of the last Thanksgivings we actually do like this, so I would like to be there for it.  It just sucks leaving DH here (although he has his family here) Hopefully DH will get a new job and things will be easier next year.

Thanks!