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Can I b!tch for a second?

I have a cousin who is getting married in August and normally I would be totally thrilled but I have my reservations. First my cousin has known this girl less then a year (which is whatever) engaged since February. The whole wedding seemed rushed, but I gave them the benefit of the doubt and thought that they were just really eager. This week I find out that the reason they're getting married so quickly is because they want to move in with my aunt and uncle to save money and the aunt and uncle won't let them move in unless they're married. Here again I gave them the benefit. They must want to save money for a house right? wrong. They want to save money for *wait for it* my cousin's drug habit. And everyone is ok with this! They think that him getting married is going to help his problem!! Rehab will help him a wedding ring will not!! To add insult to injury everyone in my very large family (except my parents, sister and myself) will be attending. These are the same people who 2 months ago decided to boycott my wedding. 

 

with that being said I am officially over my wedding and my family

Oh Crumbs
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Ponder-ing whether or not to become a Viking's fan

Re: Can I b!tch for a second?

  • The fact that anyone would openly admit that - including most importantly those that are enabling him - is just beyond sad. Why would they ever think getting married would help? How old are they?
  • imageSRCain:
    The fact that anyone would openly admit that - including most importantly those that are enabling him - is just beyond sad. Why would they ever think getting married would help? How old are they?

    He's 26 I have no idea how old she is . . .

    The don't try to stop him because he gets moody when he doesn't get a fix and they don't want to deal with that. 

    Oh Crumbs
    image
    Ponder-ing whether or not to become a Viking's fan
  • It's seriously amazing how crappy family can be sometimes! I am so sorry they boycotted YOUR wedding but not one for someone who has an obvious drug problem and who is obviously getting married for all the wrong reasons. *** away honey but don't let me get you down. It's not worth it!
  • I concur with the previous posts....

    Don't for a second let your family get you down. I remember from the knot about your family not coming to your wedding and that sucked. Sometimes when you try to rationalize the behavior of people, you just end up more confused and hurt than before.

    Just try to be the better person thru all the BS...

     

  • WOW!  Just WOW!  If they are OK with his wedding, I have to know the reason they boycotted yours!  OMG!!!

    And b!tch all you want...that's what we're here for!  Big Smile

    I'm so sorry you have to deal with family drama.  That is never fun.

     

  • imageLeelaH:

    WOW!  Just WOW!  If they are OK with his wedding, I have to know the reason they boycotted yours!  OMG!!!

    And b!tch all you want...that's what we're here for!  Big Smile

    I'm so sorry you have to deal with family drama.  That is never fun.

     

    I hate to disappoint you Leeann, but they boycotted my wedding because I was too independent. ehh what can you do?

    Oh Crumbs
    image
    Ponder-ing whether or not to become a Viking's fan
  • Well I guess being a drug addict is better than being independent, huh?  You poor thing!

     

  • Wow - and I thought JD's parents enabled his brother and SIL too much. Seriously though, sorry you have to deal with this!
  • Enablers are the most annoying people on the planet.
  • Can I ask what is his drug of choice? He sounds like a very resposible drug addict! I've never met an addict who had the forethought of "saving" for their habit. The ones I have known usually end up homeless and completely broke! Families sure are crazy!
  • Whaaaaa?!??! That's totally ridiculous. I can see why you would be fed up with this!!!

    And I LOL at "wait for it"

    In the end, only kindness matters... -Jewel- Married 5.8.05 Mom to Tahlia Summer - born 6.21.2010
  • OMG!  I am so sorry that you are dealing with this.  I was speachless when I read your post. All that money going towards the wedding needs to go towards rehab. 

    Not that I agree with the whole "you have to be married to live with us so you can save money for your drugs", but to take a different perspective on this: I used to watch that TV show Intervention a lot and at first was completly in shock when family members would support the individuals habit (drug, alcohol, etc) by giving them money, giving them rides, letting them live with them,etc.  But then, I started to think about it from their point of view and how hard it must be to watch your loved one slowly kill themselves and how you would want to do anything you could to give yourself the peace of mind that they were safe for one more night.  I'm a big believer that the whole family must be involved in therapy/support groups/etc in order for the individual's recovery to be successful.  Alright, I'll step off my soap box :)

     

  • I think I am at the point where I have given up thinking that some people even encompass the ability to think logically.
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