Orange County Nesties
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
In-laws and family Poll
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town?
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO?
Do they live locally?
(Not location related -->) How much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs?
Any horror stories you'd care to share?
Re: In-laws and family Poll
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town?
No crazy town there...that's my side of the family.
Yes, I do. His fam is only his mom and his brother. His brother is cool, and his mom is a doll and speaks no English.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO?
When I first met him...no. But were I entering into a relationship with someone now and they had bad crazy family...yeah, it might.
Do they live locally and how much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs?
They live in Cypress, and it isn't a hinderance at all.
Any horror stories you'd care to share?
Naw. I'm lucky.
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? For the most part I do, but we do not see them very often. I don't really feel like I have a relationship with any of them.
Are any of them from crazy town? MIL is 100% BSC.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO? I didn't know for sure, but I had suspicions that were later confirmed through many events. Had I known from Day 1 I don't think it would have held me back from pursuing a relationship with H.
Do they live locally and how much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs? FIL lives twenty minutes away; MIL lives about an hour away. It's not really a hindrance to our relationship because H and FIL have always had a strained relationship; we see him at most twice a year. MIL and H have not been on good terms for over a year, so he rarely goes out to see her. When he does it's usually to handle something related to their properties, so I don't go with him. She never comes out our way.
Any horror stories you'd care to share? I'd get a hand cramp from typing so much.
ETA: I guess I should mention that SIL and her H live up in Napa, so we don't see them often. H and his sis weren't close growing up and you can see that in their current relationship. We get along with them and enjoy our time together when we see them, but they are more like casual friends than brother/sister.
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town?
I generally get along with them. My MIL watches my daughter. We've always gotten along but I do have some major hang ups about her. My FIL is great. I've always been close to my BIL's wife (DH and BIL are alike so BIL's wife and I vent to each other and about my MIL)
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO?
I didn't know how meddling my MIL was. I probably would have thought twice. I say this b/c we've had some major problems and she is a large part of the problem.
Do they live locally?
Yes, we all live in the same city. I'm dying to get away.
(Not location related -->) How much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs?
OMG, my MIL will defend DH to the end even when he's done the absolute worst thing. She has always babied him and coddled him. Its ridiculous.
Any horror stories you'd care to share?
I wish I could share, but won't on a public forum.
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town? I get along with all of my ILs for the most part. His parents are awesome, and I really like two of his sisters. His brother is not around much, so that only leaves one sister who occasionally says strangeshit to me.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO? I knew pretty early on. I might have thought twice if they were a bunch of donkeys.
Do they live locally? yes
(Not location related -->) How much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs? None. I usually have to bug him about calling his parents, etc.
Any horror stories you'd care to share? My SIL loves to ask me awkward questions/say things to make me uncomfortable such as "Wow, that's a really nice car. Is it new? How much did THAT cost?"
I'll answer in regards to XH since it is more relevant
No. We were polite to eachother but never really got along well, a lot of things bothered me about how things were done and how I was treated.
Yes I knew from day 1 and yes I would have thought twice about it.
Not at first.
A significant hindrance.
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town?
Yes, we all get along extremely well now. We had a rough rough year a couple years ago but I'd like to think we've all come full circle and are extremely close again.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO?
One of the many reasons I married D was because his family was down to earth and fun. If the problems we had 2 years ago would have surfaced early in our relationship I probably would have still dated him. In hindsight they were minor.
Do they live locally?
Yes. His sister is in YL and parents are in Buena Park. We see them both alot.
(Not location related -->) How much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs?
When we had a rough patch in 2007 it was a HUGE problem for our marriage. I mean HUGE. We fought daily and I felt like he wasn't sticking up for me and instead joining their team. We fought tooth and nail and I think it is what has made us stronger as a couple. We need to support each other and take a step back to look at the other's perspective.
Any horror stories you'd care to share?
I call 2007 the year of the diet pills. I over reacted and said a lot of hurtful things and vice versa. Nuff said. Things are totally on a different level now.
We've had issues with MIL over religion. She is very pushy about church.
FIL does not want to meet our daughter, his only grandchild, because we gave her my last name. I didn't change my last name when I got married. DH and I didn't want to hyphenate LO's last name because the combination sounds ridiculous. We decided that if we had a girl, she would take my last name, and if we had a boy, he would take my husband's last name. FIL says we have brought shame on him and his relatives b/c of her last name, and both I and LO should take DH's name. It is unfortunate that FIL has already missed out on the first 2 and a half months of LO's life. But part of me is glad that we don't have to drive to LA to see a man who never talks to me anyway.
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town?
We get a long for the most part. We have had some rough patches but for the most part things are good.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO?
I wouldn't have thought twice about being with him but I would have asserted myself more in the beginning. There are things I went along with and agreed with that I shouldn't have and now it looks like I'm being fickle but it's just that I'm now standing up for myself.
Do they live locally?
They all live within 30-45 minutes. It used to be hard when my parents were far away because we hardly did stuff with my family but it's gotten a lot better since my parents moved close.
(Not location related -->) How much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs?
Not too much. There was a time where I wasn't getting a long with his mom and that caused an issue.
Any horror stories you'd care to share?
Nothing really.
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town? I get along extremely well with his immediate family as well as his big, huge, Irish Catholic extended family. One or two from the extended family are a little crazy at times, but crazytown is mostly from my side of the family.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO? I liked them from Day 1, but we've definitely warmed up to each other over the years. At the time, I don't think crazytown parents would have bothered me, but now, I'd think twice about being with someone that has crazy family.
Do they live locally? Yep.
(Not location related -->) How much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs? None whatsoever. I will bug H every so often that we really need to have his family over or we need to go visit them. We also see them for all major holidays, birthdays and other assorted events.
Any horror stories you'd care to share? None. I really feel like I hit the IL jackpot, no joke.
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town? Most of them. His mother has never been in the picture. Many many stories, but she's been married 8 times and always put herself before her kids, and has played the victim role her entire life. MH doesn't communicate with her at all.
The rest of his family is cool - I love his siblings and my nieces and nephews to death. His dad can be a little curmudgeony, but he's pretty cool most of the time.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO? I've known about MH's BSC mom for ages. Because he doesn't talk to her, it's not an issue. If he did, I don't know to what point the crazy would seep into our lives.
Do they live locally? No.
(Not location related -->) How much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs? None. MH sometimes says he doesn't know how he'll feel when his mom dies, and if he should reach out to her at some point. I've always told him if he wants to open that door, he should.
Any horror stories you'd care to share? I've never dealt with her. I just read an email once that said MH and his siblings needed to accept the past and get over it, and it was their fault if they couldn't.
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town? For the most part, I've had some minor issues with SIL awhile back but we talked it out and we're fine now. FIL has his BSC moments from time to time but everyone knows it and you just learn to deal with it.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO? My only concern on day 1 was if they would accept me but that mostly stemmed from the ex before I dated H getting pressure from his family to break up with me because I wasnt a WASP. I had a bit of a complex about it after that especially when I found out H's dad was in the military but they were very welcoming and we've definitely gotten closer. MIL held back a bit until we got married but she's great now.
Do they live locally? Yep.
(Not location related -->) How much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs? Not at all. Family's important to me so I actually encourage H that we should hang out with them more especially since my family isnt always in town. His parents do family dinners every Sunday and we try and go when we can. I like that they arent overbearing.
Any horror stories you'd care to share? not really, I havent had many issues with them. The only problem that really sticks out is when we butted heads about where the rehearsal dinner should be. They had something rather ghetto in mind and we had our own ideas. With some help from SIL, they eventually relented and went with the location we wanted.
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town? I get along with MIL and FIL very well. They are awesome (although MIL is partially on my shitlist for the first time in 5 years). SIL lives in DC and we only see her once a year. She's "different" but she isn't really in the picture at all.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO? I liked them from Day 1. If I didn't, I would have probably ended things. I have too strong of a personality to deal with BSC in-laws.
Do they live locally? Yep.
Any horror stories you'd care to share? Not really, other than MIL doing a 180 on watching the babies a couple days a week. Not a big deal at all, but her wording on the issue could have been better. I am trying to get over it.
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town? Yes. Yup.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO? For the most part, yes I knew. Didn't think twice and still wouldn't. Love my H too much. And some of his family is pretty awesome, now.
Do they live locally? Yes.
(Not location related -->) How much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs? The only hinderance when it comes to H's family is that H spoils his younger siblings a little too much sometimes. But that's not really so bad.
Any horror stories you'd care to share? Way too many.
The most recent one happened during labor day weekend. H's Aunt was throwing a family BBQ for her son's bday. The son didn't even show up.
That's not even really the worst part.
H's slightly mentally and slightly phsyically disabled uncle got drunk, took H's limited edition (and somewhat expensive) beach cruiser with out asking. We realized he and the bike were missing at about 1pm. Figured he come back in a couple hours like he normally does.
H's little sister and their aunt (uncle's sister) go walking around Mile Square Park around 6pm and find uncle passed out on a bench with no bike. He didn't even know his name, he was that drunk.
We think he sold the bike for more booze.
Sucky part was that we were going to give the bike to H's little brother as birthday present.
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town?
I feel very blessed. Both sides get along great and really enjoy spending time together. None of them are BSC.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO?
N/A
Do they live locally?
No. ILs live in Southern Oregon, DH's siblings live in SF and Spokane, WA.
(Not location related -->) How much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs?
It's not because there is no drama.
Any horror stories you'd care to share?
Nope.
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town?
For the most part, yes.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO?
N/A.
Do they live locally?
Yes.
(Not location related -->) How much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs?
N/A.
Any horror stories you'd care to share?
The next time you see me, remind me to tell you about vitamins as wedding favors if I haven't told you that story before.
It's just MIL, SIL and her husband and 2 nieces. I love them all. They are fun, nice and generous people. I lucked out big time.
He likes my parents. They have a tendency to drink a little too much sometimes and start repeating stories they have told before but they are great most of the time.
They live in OC so they don't live close anymore since we moved. I always said he should have spent more time with them.
No stories at all.
Yes. I actually knew my FIL&MIL before my H. Both our families are equal parts of crazytown, so we mix well...like a "nice cocktail" as my FIL so poetically states.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO?
N/A
Do they live locally?
Yes.
(Not location related -->) How much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs?
Since my family and his are so close - there is no separation. It's been a great thing with a rotten apple moments. Although I'd never trade it for the opposite problem.
Any horror stories you'd care to share?
Nothing horrific, fortunately.
My IL story is a bit unusual I think....
Do you get along with your ILs/DH's Fam? Are any of them from crazy town? I get along with them, but I've only met them once. Yes, they WERE from crazy town, thus DH not talking to them for 20 years, but they seem normal now.
Did you know from Day 1 and if you didn't, would you have thought twice about being with your SO? I didn't meet them until we were married 4 years. I wouldn't have thought twice about being with DH though.
Do they live locally?No, they live in Canada.
(Not location related -->) How much of a hindrance is it to your relationship with the hubs? Not a hindrance at all.
Any horror stories you'd care to share? Like I said above, they WERE from crazy town. I've never experienced anything horrible with them, but DH went through a lot growing up and didn't talk to them for 20 years. His mom is a former alcoholic (been sober for 15 years or something). His mom was 16 when she had him and basically was a bad mother. They seem normal now. I think there has been a lot of growing up involved.