How does your family handle holiday dinners?

sweetzazoo

I'm curious how other families arrange their holiday dinners.  When you have a holiday dinner with extended family (10+ people) how do you handle the food?  Does the host provide every thing?  Each person bring something?  Is it considered rude to invite people to a holiday party & tell them they have to bring a dish to pass?

Mrs.Aks2B

For our holiday dinners we usually have a lot of people (at least 10), and while the host will provide the base of the meal, the guests usually bring a side dish, dessert, salad, etc. ?I don't consider it rude, although I do live in Hawaii, and here it's customary to always bring something when you are invited to a dinner or party. ?

Nova726

In my family we all just bring dishes and don't even think twice about it. Everybody just reaches out to my mom to see what she needs and what they should make/bring.

With my ILs though, my MIL just takes care of the whole meal. I bring mashed potatoes and a dessert, but otherwise nobody brings anything. (I actually find this pretty weird)

Dr.Loretta

DH's family has 30+ people who congregate for Thanksgiving dinner. The hosts supply the meat, and everyone else brings a side, drink, etc. IMO it's not rude to have other people bring things. A lot of people are excited to bring their grandmothers signature dish, etc.

k22t

i have a small family, but everyone brings something.   my mom usually cooks the meat (turkey, ham, beef) and makes the pumpkin pie.  the rest of us divide the rest of the sides/desserts equally.

MrsC2009

For my family and DH's mom's, we each bring a dish to pass.  For DH's dad's, we host and provide everything except his aunt brings dessert.

blu-eyedwife

We usually provide everything, although if someone insists on bringing something we have some dishes we farm out.  For instance, my cousin just can't come empty handed, so every year for Thanksgiving he brings the mashed potatoes.

 

Everyone has their own feelings on this, so I don't know if I'd consider it rude, but I'd be uncomfortable hosting a dinner and asking my guests to bring something.  To begin with - it could put them in a tight spot.  It also gives me less control as to what dishes show up and make it to the table. 

TheBridesMom

blu-eyedwife:

We usually provide everything, although if someone insists on bringing something we have some dishes we farm out.  For instance, my cousin just can't come empty handed, so every year for Thanksgiving he brings the mashed potatoes.

 

Everyone has their own feelings on this, so I don't know if I'd consider it rude, but I'd be uncomfortable hosting a dinner and asking my guests to bring something.  To begin with - it could put them in a tight spot.  It also gives me less control as to what dishes show up and make it to the table. 

This, but we don't have huge numbers of people unless we are visiting my mom, and then most of the people are staying at her house, so we all just pitch in to make the meal.  Extra people are not asked to bring anything, but if they want to bring their ' mom's dressing' or whatever, they are welcome to.

When i was a kid, we always ate at my grandmother's house, but my mom brought most of the meal.  She made the turkey (and ham), the mashed potatoes and gravy, pies and who knows what else... and we had to take two cars to get us, the food and folding chairs over there. 
What a pita.  My grandmother made really scary dressing (it was gray) and yams that looked so bad that I didn't know that I liked them until I was an adult and tried them somewhere else-lol.

suzymarie

We sometimes have 10+ people.  Basically the rule is that everyone is responsible for a dish- by which I mean preparing that dish.  My mom is happy to buy ingredients if asked (although we usually all buy our own stuff) but we each prepare our dish either ahead of time, or at her house on the day of, so that she doesn't have to spend the whole day in the kitchen. 

Typically DH, DS, and I bring a vegetarian turkey alternative, and sometimes a veggie side dish.  My sis usually does green beans.  My brother does appetizers or mashed potatos.  My g'pa does appetizers and wine.  Etc. 

ETA:  I did have 2 international student friends come one year, and of course we didn't ask them to bring a dish- they were truly guests.  I don't really consider family to be guests though!

Disneygeek77

We go to my sister's house and she provides the turkey and one side.  Everyone else provides a side and a dessert.  I usually bring a big Costco pumpkin pie, dinner rolls and green beans.  I would never consider it rude for her to ask for help. 

jennythebride08

For Christmas on my side of the family, it's about 20 people and my grandparents make all the food except dessert and even then my grandma makes at least one. They enjoy it and it's tradition.

For Thanksgiving with my side of the family, we all make one thing and bring it over to my parents house. This is usually smaller and consists of 6-10 people. 

When we are with my H's family, everyone makes one thing with his grandma making the main course. 

angelashly

The host provides the meat/drinks/and sometimes a side then the rest of us bring a dessert,side,app.

We have around 17-20 people at our family dinners

Birdyne

Strictly dealing with family - you know maybe it is different depending upon the family, but we always offer and/or ask for help from our family members.  I do the big Thanksgiving dinner, and my grandmother (before she passed) did the Spring dinner and my mother does Christmas.   Grandmother never asked us to bring anything, so we'd offer to pick up X, Y or Z for her.  My mother and I live fairly close, and we all the time say "Would you mind making X, Y or Z?"  Now, my ILs have dibs on Christmas Eve and do a big dinner.  Because the relationship was never established like that of my family, I only offered the one time (way back when we were married) and was told no, so I never offered again.  Still, if she called to say "Birdy, can you bring X, Y or Z" unless it was last minute AND the turkey, LOL, I'd totally feel fine with the request.

alroger3

We always have it at my in-laws' house.  It used to be my husband's extended family plus me and my Mom (I have a REALLY small family).  It was 16 people. My MIL got sick of the extended family always coming over (really long story that I will spare you) so it's just immediate family plus me and my Mom...makes 9.

My MIL and hubby's grandma do most of the cooking.  I help where I can.  I would like to do more, but it's MIL's kitchen and she's funny about it.  Our SIL never does anything and everyone talks about her behind her back because of it.  I don't mind.  She's not a very good cook. 

I do bake sourdough bread and all the desserts every year.  My Mom brings the sweet potato casserole.