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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Please give me strength for CIO
We're trying a little CIO again, because he's been waking up around 2 am the past few nights and not wanting to go back to sleep. I can not deal with the sound of my baby screaming. What's worse is now he cries, "Mamaaaaa!!!" Please tell me it's ok, that I'm doing this for his well being, that he needs to sleep better. Please tell me anything so I don't feel so rotten listening to him call for me. It's taking all the strength I have not to go in and pick him up and cuddle him.
Re: Please give me strength for CIO
Good luck, J. I dont think I could do CIO, it seems so hard. I hope it doesnt last long and that he just conks out for then night.
::sleepy dust to Ben::
He's OUT!!! We did 5 minutes CIO, then go in and soothe. Then we did 10 minutes the same way. Then we did another 10 minutes (we have decided that is his limit- I know some people go to 15, but it's too much for him). I walked in, gave him his green lovey blanket, told him, "Mama and Dada are here, we love you very much and we will be here in the morning. It's ok to go to sleep, little bear. I love you." He took the blanket, wrapped his arms around it, spit the binky out and conked out!!!
Score- Mama 1, Ben 200
Well, it's a start, right?
Yay!
If it works, it will be one of the best things you have ever done, for all of you! Owen has almost always put himself to sleep, but we have had to do CIO a few times to get him back on track or to STTN.
Few pieces of advice: you & DH have to be on the same page. It will not work if one of you tries to rush in there to "save" him.
Don't turn the monitor on, you will hear him screaming w/o it. Turn the monitor on later, when he stops.
Set a timer or watch the clock. The 5 minutes (or however long you wait the first time b/f going in) will seem like an hour!
Do something that is hard to stop or drawns out the screaming while you wait. Vaccuum, do dishes, take a shower, go for a walk while DH listens to him. Anything that makes it so you don't hear as much & have a hard time stopping what you are doing to run in.
Good luck!
Lis, this is what I read. I guess it all depends on the baby and your feelings on CIO...
What is the "cry it out" method?
People often think this method of sleep training involves leaving babies alone to cry for as long it takes before they fall asleep. But "cry it out" (CIO) simply refers to any sleep training approach ? and there are many ? that says it's okay to let a baby cry for a specified period of time (often a very short period of time) before offering comfort.
In his 1985 book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems (revised and expanded in 2006), pediatrician Richard Ferber presented one method of getting children to sleep that has become virtually synonymous with CIO ? so much so that you'll hear parents refer to any CIO method as "Ferberizing."
Ferber himself never uses the term "cry it out." And he's only one of a number of sleep experts who say that crying ? while not the goal ? is for some children an unavoidable part of sleep training.
I'd like to give the Ferber method a try. How do I do it?
First, wait until your baby is physically and emotionally ready to sleep through the night, usually between 4 and 6 months of age. Ferber doesn't designate a precise age at which to begin his technique, since it can vary so much depending on the child.
If you're not sure whether your baby's ready, you can always give it a try. If you encounter too much resistance, wait a few weeks and try again.
Step 1
Put your baby in his crib when he's sleepy but still awake.
Step 2
Say goodnight to your child and leave the room. If he cries when you leave, let him cry for a predetermined amount of time. (See "How long should I leave my child alone?" below.)
Step 3
Go back into the room for no more than a minute or two to pat and reassure your baby. Leave the light off and keep your voice quiet and soothing. Don't pick him up. Leave again while he's still awake, even if he's crying.
Step 4
Stay out of the room for a little bit longer than the first time and follow the same routine, staying out of the room for gradually longer intervals, each time returning for only a minute or two to pat and reassure him, and leaving while he's still awake.
Step 5
Follow this routine until your child falls asleep when you're out of the room.
Step 6
If your child wakes up again later, follow the same routine, beginning with the minimum waiting time for that night and gradually increasing the intervals between visits until you reach the maximum for that night.
Step 7
Increase the amount of time between visits to the nursery each night. In most cases, according to Ferber, your baby will be going to sleep on his own by the third or fourth night ? a week at the most. If your child is very resistant after several nights of trying, wait a few weeks and then try again.
How long should I leave my child alone?
In his book, Ferber suggests these intervals:
Keep in mind that there's nothing magical about these waiting periods. You can choose any length of time you feel comfortable with.
Yup...I was going on what the pedi told me for his age - Dr. Page told me to not do CIO until 6 months, Dr. Kukay said it was okay for Austin's age to let him cry for up to 20 min - "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" says the same thing...and then at 5 months, you can let them cry for no more than an hour....
You certainly have to do what you are comfortable with, that is for sure!!
yay j!
im so happy he went back to sleep in 10 mins! thats awesome!!!! gl tonight!!!!!!
Thanks!! I was SO upset and came out of his room crying and just fell into a big heap into MIL's arms. She was awesome- telling me how they had to do the same thing for Larry when he was a baby. Larry is much stronger at it than I am, though let's wait and see when he's crying "Dada" if it breaks his heart a little more! (he thinks I'm a softy...)
Thank you, Mindy!!! That is some great advice and I will use it tonight!!
Are you positive you want to CIO? I'm following the no cry sleep solution and she's now sleeping 10-11 hours.