Holidays
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Christmas Gifts Dilemma- Sort of Long
We are flying out of state to my side of the family for Christmas this year. My mom has a big family, and they have a party every Christmas Eve. When we were growing up we used to go to these parties every other year (We lived in a different state, but my parents have since moved there). Anyhow, my cousins have all started having kids and now it's "expected" that each family buys gifts for all of the kids. There are 11 kids in all (two more on the way). I'm calculating that even if a buy a cheap gift for each of them, it's going to be over a hundred dollars. I don't really have a relationship with any of my cousins or their kids, other than seeing them once every year or two. And yet if I don't get stuff for them, I will feel like a complete $hitheel. (One year we didn't bring anything and they all got stuff for our kids). How do I put the breaks on this? The adults put their names in a hat and do an exchange. I wish we could do the same! I just don't have a close enough relationship with any of my cousins to mobilize something this. My mom is no help, btw. She wouldn't understand why I wouldn't want to give everyone gifts... That's what Christmas is all about, right? (She spoils all of us to such an excess that it is ridiculous). Do I just need to suck it up?
Re: Christmas Gifts Dilemma- Sort of Long
Kinda sounds like it. But, you could do something cheap- like go to Target or Michaels and get stuff from the dollar bins and give each kid a gift bag with random stuff.
Or you could suggest drawing names to the cousins and bypass your mom. I would have to think that there are others who don't want to buy gifts for every kid.
You could always suggest a grab bag. My family has done that for about 15 years and it works out great. There are 11 on my side, too, and the adults just said no way.
If that doesn't work, you can always buy candy in bulk and give each kid a candy bag. That might scare the family into seeing things your way next year. ;-)
I would suggest a few things to the family, and see how it goes over:
1. Suggest that all the cousins pick names and give each other gifts. That's what DH's family has decided to do. It's cute to see the 3yo give his gift to his 8yo cousin
2. Get a "group gift" of something edible, or a game or something, for all the cousins to share. Like a movie basket or a board game for them all to play.
Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
Don't drink the water.
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Ditto the other suggestions. And if people don't like the ideas - any of them - then it's on you. Do you just want to remove your family from the gift giving all together (how would your kids feel about that?)? If so- then go this year w/ a simple gift (candy, homemade cookies- whatever) and just tell everyone that your family will no longer be taking part in the gift swap.
If next year they get you something? Oh well- let them. I have a feeling that once you really don't take part, people will stop giving yo usomething.
But I would hope if you throw out a couple ideas that others would be on board. I'm SURE others are a bit overwhelmed too.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Can you buy boardgames for each set of siblings? Softcover books, purchased with coupons and wrapped in the store, are also good inexpensive, easy gifts...
Depending on the age of the kids, gift card (or gift) bingo is an option, for either this year if you can arrange it quick enough, or for future years.
I'm all in favor of finding a cheapo gift, but be cautious with that. I was once given a goodie bag with a couple truffles, a deck of cards, a toothbrush, and some other random stuff. My cousins and I just looked at each other wishing we had gotten a card or a $5 gift card to a bookstore instead. You should be safe with candy, but just something to be aware of.
Michaels Crafts also has the $1 bins, if any of the kids are crafty.
You may be able to hit up the clearance or sale racks at your local B&N or Borders to find fairly cheap books... or Amazon's sale page (just filter on the free shipping).
One final thought for the girls is store-bought or homemade stationary. You can get pretty cheap sets at the craft stores (which usually have 40% off coupons as well), or at Target. (I actually think Michaels usually has a set of notecards in the $1 bin).
Good luck! Let us know what you figure out.
My family is the same way! There are 8 cousins (DH and I are part of that mix, but because we are married we get nothing!) that we are expected to buy for. I try to spend between $5-$10 on each.
I just noticed that in this sunday's paper Toys R Us had their board games $2.99 and if you send in a rebate you actually get them for $1.99. Or something along those lines. It looks like that's what I may go for.
I would suggest that you email your cousins directly, and tell them that due to space limitations and fees for checked baggage on airlines, you won't be participating in the gift exchange for kids this year.
I agree. My family usually give gifts for all of the kids. Last year I made it work by giving movie baskets to each family. I put candy, popcorn, 20oz drinks a $5 blockbuster gift card for each kid. So for a family with 3 kids you can make a basket for $25-30. If you have an idea of what kind of movies the kids like you can get movies out of the $5 bin and get them each a movie. I think this year I am going to have to suggest a gift exchange for the Kids too. It worked when there were only 7 kids but people keep adding on.