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How to handle the rude houseguest?
So this weekend my husband and I left town on a mini vacation and told our best friend's boyfriend that he was welcome to stay at our home. We knew that our best friend would be spending some time over at the home too. On Saturday we recieved a call saying that they were making dinner for us on Sunday. We were thrilled. On Sunday we recieved a text that they would be making dinner at another friend's home. We arrived home and found our friend's car parked in our driveway (making it difficult to unload the car from the weekend), the living room had their belongings all over, and I realized that they took a couple of cooking supplies (spices). We felt taken advantage of. Any suggestions on how to handle the situation? We want them to feel comfortable in our home and we welcome them at any time but we're afraid they could become a little too comfortable and frankly ungrateful. Any advice?
Thanks!
Re: How to handle the rude houseguest?
Bag up their belongings in trash bags, ask for the spices back and never allow them to housesit again. Do you really want to be friends with people who treat your home like a frat house?
I guess I really don't understand why you told them to stay at your house in the first place, not that it's my business, but you were only gone 3 days. We routinely leave our house for 7-10 days.
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I agree w/ this for the most part. If it were me, I would make a mental note that if they stayed again while I was OOT I would ask that they leave the driveway open the day I would return.
My friends are always welcome to whatever's in my kitchen, so the spice thing wouldn't bother me. I do understand feeling disapointed about thinking I would come home to a dinner and find out it is being held elsewhere, but I wouldn't consider it rude.
But if it all really made you feel uncomfortable, then don't ask them to stay at your house when you're OOT. I don't think it's worth saying anything to them aboout it, however.
The boyfriend was there because he attends a university across the state and isn't allowed to stay with his mom (some family drama there). He basically comes over to see his girlfriend who still lives with her parents who would not let him stay with them. Basically we were trying to be good friends and we let him stay at our place so they could play house for the weekend.
I guess it's not too big of deal. I was just so annoyed to see that we opened up our home and arrived back to find stuff (no matter how small) missing.
When you say that some spices were missing......do you mean that they took the entire container, or that they used some while cooking at your house?
Otherwise, I don't understand at all what your problem is. You asked them to stay at your house for a couple of days. They didn't break anything or ruin anything..........their stuff was laid out in the living room (would you have been happier had they stayed in your bedroom instead?), their car was in the way, and they didn't have dinner ready for you when you got home.
Yes, you did them a favor by allowing them to play house for the weekend. But they did YOU a favor by housesitting......which is likely they way that they see it too. They didn't owe you dinner or a thorough cleaning of your house.
Their crap laid out and their car blocking the driveway was a little thoughtless............but maybe they didn't know the exact minute you were going to be home, and hadn't gotten around to packing up and moving the car yet.
You invited people to stay at your house while you went away............and you told them to make themselves at home and be comfortable................they did everything that you told them to do. In the future, if you want people to treat your house like a museum and to only get take-out while there, let them know that in the beginning.
Ok - everything that you said in your last post definitely makes him a rude-as-hell houseguest, and I wouldn't be inviting him back again.....ever.
Thanks for the clarification.
In general, I'd be annoyed. People do have different definitions of what a good house guest is, and now that you know this about the boyfriend, I wouldn't allow him to stay again.
Taking of the spices would annoy me as it is part of a display. If they were in a plastic container in the cupboard, that would be another story. Did they return the spices?
I see it as annoying but not a big deal.
Just make sure you never have these people as guests again.
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There were some warning signs that you could have picked up on.... for example, the fact that his parents wouldn't allow him to stay with them isn't a sign that he's a very mature guest.
I'd chalk that one up to a lesson learned. If he hasn't returned the spices, I'd bring that up, but otherwise, just don't invite him back.
DH has some friends that are good people, but are still bachelors. When they stay at our house, my expectations are significantly lower than when my sister or other more domestically-trained guests stay. :-) For his friends, I just try to ignore the messiness issues (I must say, I am very thankful for a hygienic DH.... how on EARTH do these men get so much filth in my bathtub every time they take a shower? It is BIZARRE) and plan on cleaning up after them, and ask DH to talk to them about any other inconveniences I've come to expect (i.e., on work nights, if they are going to be out past 12:00 AM, they'd better find another place to sleep because the door will be locked and we will be asleep).
If I really minded the minor inconveniences, I wouldn't let them stay, but since they're DH's friends, I am OK with dealing with it and being a good hostess. But of course there's nothing wrong with saying 'no' when you aren't up for it. Sounds like this guy isn't someone you invited because you wanted him around, so I'd definitely turn down his request next time. You were doing him a favor, but it's obviously not worth it for the next time.