October 2009 Weddings
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The Holidays

I'm curious as to how everyone is balance out the holidays. Thanksgiving isn't that big of an issue since DH has to work but we are starting to talk about Christmas. My only family is my parents and sister and we always go to church together on Christmas Eve. DH doesn't like going to church Christmas Eve and wants to go to his parents' house, and to both sets of grandparents (his parents will also be at both of these places). I'm not sure how sure how to find the balance. This will be our second Christmas together but last year we both kinda did our own thing. We did have dinner with his parents and sister on Christmas Eve and did the presents thing before going to church with my family. Christmas Day we saw each other for a couple of hours before doing our own things.Any opinions and ideas are welcome. Sorry so long.
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Re: The Holidays

  • Sounds just like us! My family always goes to church on xmas eve, and DHs family doesn't but they get together and do a casual dinner or whatever. It wouldn't be a big deal for us to go to our own families seperately but when we have DS in the picture, its much harder. Usually I take DS to church and then leave after church to go to ILs house and hang out there for a short while.

    On christmas morning we usually go to ILs early in the day and do lunch and presents late morning/early afternoon and then do my family in the late afternoon, and usually have munchies like summer sausage, cheese, crackers, cookies, etc. Then we might do dinner with my family, but between you and me, I really hope not!

  • The christmas eve service at church is my favorite service of the year at church. His suggestion is if we go to church christmas eve then that will be it with my family. christmas day we will go to his parents' house (am), his mom's parents' house (lunch), and his dad's mom's house (supper). If i give up church then we spend all of christmas eve with his parents and i get to see mine for a bit on christmas day. So I just don't know. This is my first Christmas without my pap he passed away 4 1/2 months before the wedding and the only family I really have are my parents and sister. Even if we don't go to his parents' house we will see them at the other two stops that involve his family.
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  • It sounds like he is trying to control the holidays. We really don't have this problem but we have been dealing with it with my brother and his family. What they do is have people come to them we split the day with one family in the morning and the other in the evening. It kind of sucks since we are used to being together all the time on the holidays but it has been working so far. You may want to share with DH that you want to spend at least a little time with your family Christmas day even though you typically have your big celebration Christmas eve and let him know why. I really don't think there is an easy answer to this situation its just going to have to be what you and DH come up with.
  • We decided last year that until we have children, we would alternate the holidays. Last year, we were at his family's for Thanksgiving (went to see my family right after) and at my family's for Christmas (went to see his family right after).

    This year, we switch and we'll be with my family for Thanksgving and his family for Christmas. My family decided that they would move Christmas back a few days just for us so we'll have Christmas with his family then drive to my family's house and do Christmas there. 

    Long term, we may decide to choose a completely separate day to celebrate the holidays as DH wants our children to celebrate at home. He's under the illusion that our families will come to see us but forgets that that only works when everyone lives in the same town. 

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • We spend most of the holidays with my husbands family because my family is in another state with the exception of my dad.  We take my dad over to my MIL's house because his whole family ADORES him.  It's really cute.  But as far as your dilemma, I would definitely say you should both sit down and work out a compromise.  Just like everything else in marriage, there has to be a compromise.  Good Luck!
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • We're hosting Thanksgiving at our new house.  We move on Saturday and I'll be cooking Turkey on Thursday.  I'm a little stressed.  Christmas Eve we'll be in our house enjoying dinner and watching Christmas movies and I'll finish my Christmas baking.  Christmas morning we'll go over to his mom's house.  I'm not sure if we'll go to his Dad's or his step-Dad's family or not.  The day after Christmas we'll have my parents over and celebrate Christmas with them because they both have to work on the actual holiday.
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