November 2008 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I need to stop letting this bother me...
but I dont' know how. Remember last week, or whenever, I posted about my conversation with my lovely brother. I love him dearly, he's my only sibling but he's turning out to be just like my mother. I've tried helping him, numerous people have tried, he just never seemed to want to help himself. When things go good in his life, he loves everyone, when things are bad, it's everyone elses fault (mainly mine) but his. He could never take responsibilty for how his life is. So this morning I log on fb to see this message in my inbox:
Matthew ZImmer November 23 at 10:48am
hey there, figured i would touch base on how things are. im back in mass and also back in haverhill. so, if you want, i would like to see you some time this week if you are available. ill be coming to the library frequintly, so tommarow ill be coming back here to see if you messaged me. i really do miss everyone. as of 2 days ago im making a 360 of myself and this time. its with my heart not my mind. things seemed good until after things where done. but this, i believe will work. im on my own and will be. im okay, i know this will work out. im going to make it work. im going to see a shelter right after i send this to you. so ill keep you filled in on whats going on. well, hope things are well and if everyone doesnt have a grudge against me tell them i said hi and i miss them. take care, i love you.
your midget brother
.
your midget brother
. I don't like knowing he just left where he was living and is now on the streets with nothing but the clothes on his back. He had a place to live, a job, and he just up and leaves to "make a 360 (180 I'm sure he meant but he isn't the brightest crayon in the box)". I'm scared for him, he's been on the streets before, but has absolutely NO street smarts, he's VERY naive(sp?) and would fall for anything. I don't exactly want to tell him to stop contacting me because when I get these random messages it upsets me and makes me worry, but at the same time, I want to get them because it lets me know he's still alive. Yes, I worry that someday I will hear that he was found dead somewhere.
I know I shouldn't even let it bother me because he's ALWAYS been like this, but he's my brother and I don't know how to block out the feelings. I easily did it with my mother, I have no emotional connection to her what so ever (I know it sounds horrible, but if you only knew the whole story), but with him, I don't know. I know he's capable of so much more, and I know some people have to hit rock bottom before they figure it out, but he's hit bottom, numerous times, and it does nothing.
Sorry for the vent, I honestly can't talk to anyone else about it because even M doesn't like hearing about it anymore.
Re: I need to stop letting this bother me...
What the??? WHy would he think thats the best thing for him to do? I dont get it. Is he mentaly unstable and maybe needs some medication? This just doesnt sound like something a rational person would do.
Sorry you are dealing with this
Why would you e-mail someone to tell them that you're "on your own"? Why not just be "on your own"? I agree with Karrey.
Karrey, I know that's exactly why he contacts me. I refuse to take care of him anymore, he's not a child, he's a 25 year old man who should be fully capable of taking care of himself.
Kirsten, he was on meds when he was younger, but never took them. Yes he desperately needs to be on meds.
He just messaged me on fb, this was our conversation.
11:31amMatthew
hey there
11:31amSheri-Ann
Hi
11:31amMatthew
how are you doing?
11:31amSheri-Ann
Okay, you, so what is up with this you
you're on the streets again?
11:33amMatthew
not much, glad that im back where i belong. more exstatic really. im heading to lawrance in alittle bit to check out places there. ya i am on the streets but not for long. cause from being in maine i know it took awhile but i finaly woke up from being a...*** i guess you can say. no matter what im taking things in my own hands. somthing i should have done along time ago. im not staying on the streets to long. im making sure of that im sick of being my own self being afraid to live on my own that was the problem. i was a leach doing so. but not any more
11:34amSheri-Ann
Well go into Boston if you have to, a shelter there will take you in.
11:34amMatthew
i was looking at that. there was alot of places there
11:35amSheri-Ann
But you had a job, the least you could have did was saved up money to get your own place and ask for a transfer.
11:36amMatthew
i couldnt. the people there where taking my money and well, long story, my life prity much would have been in danger if i didnt give them money. i got myself in a huge situation in maine and well i left right after i read them. i was going to be ditched and left behind if i didnt do what i did. i sware 'r' and his GF is like the mafiea
11:37amSheri-Ann
Um, care to fill me in?
11:37amMatthew
but thats behind me now. if need be ill fill you in...another..long adventerous story im alittle busy right now trying to get things straighten but ill be glad to fill you in once i have the time. i just wanted to touch base with you some how. and see you on. figured i would see how you where and say hi can we set a day and time we can meet up?
11:38amSheri-Ann
okay, well I do want to hear the story. Well, let me give you my cell phone number, do you have a pen and paper?
11:39amMatthew
i do
11:39amSheri-Ann
Okay, do NOT give it out OR lose it!
11:39amMatthew
i promise i wont
11:39amSheri-Ann
###-###-####
11:40amMatthew
when would you like me to call you?
11:40amSheri-Ann
Call me when you find a place and tell me the place, if I don't pick up, leave me a message.
11:40amMatthew
ill be sure to. i miss you alot.
11:40amSheri-Ann
Okay. Please, be safe.
11:41amMatthew
ill be sure to. no worries.
11:41amSheri-Ann
I can't help it.
11:41amMatthew
bye
well im off. ill call you tonite. i understand, your my sister, ill call you tonight eather way
bus leaves in 20 min
11:43amSheri-Ann
OK, bye.
Ditto this.
Agreed. Wow. I hope he does get to meet up with you... I'm sorry you're going through this... and it's hard when it's a sibling.
Yikes!! Honestly Sheri, I've got to agree with Karrey - it sounds like he's trying to guilt you into a handout. Sometimes you have to turn away for your own mental health.
And we are always here for you to vent to. Always.
In all seriousness... is he schizophrenic? this strikes me as very schizophrenic behaviour. How old is he? Schizophrenia shows up in your early 20's.
Or drug addiction. If he's into someone for a lot of money who is willing to put the hurt on...then it's drugs...which doesn't preclude the schizophrenia. People with mentail instability self-medicate.
This reminds me a lot of the son from Parenthood that leaves his son "Cool" behind.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Remember, you are not his keeper. Don't over-extend yourself. You deserve your own happiness.