Do you ever come to that point when you need new friends IRL?

JeniLovesNeil

Ugh.  I have a few great friends, but only one that is an amazing friend that I could totally rely on.  Don't get me wrong, no one has done anything that would make me not want to be friends with them, but I've realized that when it comes to friendships, some of them could care less.  Ugh.  

I'm coming to the realization that I def need new friends at this stage of my life.  Have any of you been through this?  I hope it's not just me... 

MrsJRD23

Oh yeah I've been through that.  Actually it was one of the reasons I moved out of state and to the west coast!  I needed a BIG change.

ScarlettBegonia

Yes. About a year ago, I had to re-evaluate a lot of people in my life. It was a great step for me. Since then, I've become great pals with Daisy and Apple; so there has been lots of good from my decision!

We moved accross the country, and some of the people we left behind had just moved in different directions than us: we are quieter, more homebodies and less inclined to stay out all night (though we do that on occaision!) and focused on creating a family together. Most of my friends were stuck in the college parting phase, and it was time to let them go: hearing about one night stands and pregnancy scares gets pretty old after awhile.

My BFF since HS did some pretty shady things back in 2007; and I had to cut ties with her too. It HURT-but it was for the best.

For awhile after we moved to PDX, I was lonely and sad, so I threw myself into work and never made time for anyone but DH. That wasnt healthy either, and I've found a happy balance now.

So I've been there-you'll get through it. And I'm always available if you want a new buddy

mrspdxbride06

I almost think it's a phase that happens in your mid to late 20s/early 30s. I've talked with so many women, in particular, who have gone through this. My theory is that when you get older, who you are/want to be shakes out and you really start to grow and become who you will be. Unfortunately, our friends don't always grow at the same rate or in the same direction. This has happened to me in the last few years and while it was heartbreaking, the result was finding a lot of really great, wonderful friends and seeing old friends in a more realistic, healthy light.

SDgirl22

mrspdxbride06:

I almost think it's a phase that happens in your mid to late 20s/early 30s. I've talked with so many women, in particular, who have gone through this. My theory is that when you get older, who you are/want to be shakes out and you really start to grow and become who you will be. Unfortunately, our friends don't always grow at the same rate or in the same direction. This has happened to me in the last few years and while it was heartbreaking, the result was finding a lot of really great, wonderful friends and seeing old friends in a more realistic, healthy light.

I TOTALLY agree with this! I found that my friends, true friends, I have stuck with because they are going through similar things in my life (settling down, wanting a family, etc.) and it's those ties that keep us together. I think it's the fact that we can relate a bit easier, and that keeps the friendship going strong, even if we live super busy lives and don't talk often.

Other friends that might not be on the same page of life sort of drift further and further away. I still have a few friends that are in a different place in life than I am, but it's nice to have that balance as well. 

sleepyocean

I've gone through, been going through this for a while as well, it's part of what made my husbands and my decision to move here easier.  He was worried I'd be lonely moving to a new place without family and friends, and I told him I'd miss my family but most of my and our friends had drifted away, and/or had become very self-oriented.  It makes me sad most of my good friends have been my friends since early elementary school and I do care about them and miss them.

JeniLovesNeil

Thank you so much ladies for your input!  I'm glad to hear that it seems to be common, and isn't just me!  I've met some of you IRL and seem to be really amazing, kind people.  Thanks for lifting my spirits.  

And Scarlett - I'm taking you up on your offer...     Are you going to the GTG in December? 

joleine

I'm kind of in the same boat.. I have 2 friends that I've known since high school that I'm pretty sure are just "friends" still because it's been so long.  We never hang out or talk much aside from Facebook.. and I have 2 good friends that I do hang out with.  That's about it.. Sad huh?  But I think at this age, its almost weird and awkward to make new friends..

JeniLovesNeil

joleine:

Sad huh?  But I think at this age, its almost weird and awkward to make new friends..

It is!  I think that's why this is so hard for me.  I am pretty social, but have no clue how to make new friends.  It seems so weird and awkward for me.   

joleine

JeniLovesNeil:

joleine:

Sad huh?  But I think at this age, its almost weird and awkward to make new friends..

It is!  I think that's why this is so hard for me.  I am pretty social, but have no clue how to make new friends.  It seems so weird and awkward for me.   

I'm glad I'm not the only one in this boat.. My problem is, I'm nervous around new people and am not good at small talk at all... heh.

mrspdxbride06

JeniLovesNeil:

It is!  I think that's why this is so hard for me.  I am pretty social, but have no clue how to make new friends.  It seems so weird and awkward for me.   

Oh, I'm totally challenged and awkward in the making new friends department. I think part of it is just that life is so busy, I don't have the time like I did when I was younger to foster new friendships.

ScarlettBegonia

Thats what GTG's are for! Cant wait to see/meet you guys!