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Hop aboard the rollercoaster (vent)
Bare with me, I'm an emotional and mental mess today so hopefully this will make sense...
My good friend and former roommate (Friend A) just passed her 25th week in her pregnancy with twin boys that came as the result of a few rounds of fertility drugs. She's been trying to get pregnant for a while now (this is their first) and we were all sooo excited for her and her husband. The pregnancy has been a rough one with a bit of bed rest early on and both babies were pretty small. A few weeks ago they lost the tiniest one, and I found out from her this morning that yesterday they lost the other one. This afternoon she went into the hospital to start the D&C process. My heart just breaks for her, and "I'm sorry" doesn't even begin to express the empathy I have for her and her family.
Then this afternoon I was talking to Friend B, who also knows Friend A, and she told me how she thinks her water broke today and they'll probably head to the hospital tonight. They're both going to be at the same hospital, and I only hope Friend A doesn't some how run into Friend B.
The irony of it all just has me so emotionally overwhelmed. I'm excited for Friend B, heartbroken for Friend A, and hormonal from pms...needless to say I cried almost the whole way home. This whole thing also really scares me as we get closer to TTC, especially since it "hits close to home" making it that much more of a reality. DH is away and anyone who I might talk to about it knows either friend A or B and since it's so new, neither friend has told many people making me feel like it's not really my news to go tell. So I guess you guys are my sounding board, not that I expect much advice, just need to get it out.
Re: Hop aboard the rollercoaster (vent)
I'm so sorry to hear this. Friend A will need time to heel and i hope she and her DH decide to TTC again when the time is right. No doubt she'll be happy for friend B but will need her space. Be there for her.
This is hard to hear let alone have a front row seat to it all. There is a plan out there for all of us and i hope you have a easier time once you get KU. I was recently reminded that god only gives us what we can handle. hang in there and use this board for whatever you need to vent. sometimes it really helps to let it all out to complete strangers. I find it oddly comforting.
My condolences to Friend A. The only thing you can really do is to be there as her friend. Try to help make life easier for your friend for a while--maybe deliver dinner to Mr. and Mrs. A one evening so they have one less thing to worry about that day. Or pick up groceries for them--children always seem to make their presence known at the grocery store, and your friend may not be ready to see anybody with kids for a while.
Congratulations to Friend B! Be there as a friend to her, too. Share in her joy and happiness.
As for your hormones being in full spaz-out mode thanks to pms, lean on everyone's favorite friends: Ben and Jerry. Try Chunky Monkey. Or maybe some sort of chocolate ice cream with fudge swirls and brownie chunks.
And feel free to vent here as much as you need. ((Hugs))
I'm so sorry for friend A. I can't imagine going through such a difficult experience.
I hope you feel better today and feel free to vent here any time.
Oh no! I'm so, so, so sorry to hear about Friend A's loss. To lose not just one, but both babies... how heartbreaking. =(
I'm not sure how this works at all hospitals, but one of my best friend's lost two babies during pregnancy (two separate pregnancies), both pretty far along (roughly at 5 months along both times). She also had to go in for a D&C and give birth to each baby. It was heartbreaking, and she was devastated.
However, if I remember correctly, they got her out of the area with other women delivering around her (the sound of babies crying was too difficult for her to deal with). I was there and remember her mom throwing a fit to get her moved to a different floor of the hospital. I hope they do the same for your friend so that her grief is not compounded.
Congratulations to Friend B though!
As both of their friends, I can only imagine what a difficult spot you are in right now.
Thanks ladies, I really appreciate all the kind words. I was one step ahead of you and had picked up some Blue Bunny ice cream at the grocery store last night...it was on sale.
I agree that you only get what you can handle,and eventually with time she'll be ok. I just hope I'll know how to help her in the coming weeks when the time comes.