Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
BM is having a boy! (plus some venting)
I posted a while ago about my friend/co-worker/BM finding out she's pregnant - she told everyone about a week before our wedding. I kind of felt bad about making her wear a probably-uncomfortable dress, but she was a trooper! 
Today, she found out it's a boy! They've had a girl and boy name for a long time now, so we even know what his name will be! I'm so happy for them and I know they'll be amazing parents.
Now to my problem... sorry if this is long. 
I know this is terrible, but I think I must be jealous. I really don't want a baby right now. I know we're getting to that having-a-baby-age (my friend is actually 3 years younger than me, so it makes me feel like we're missing the boat or something), but I know we can't handle a baby right now... financially or emotionally. I feel like we still have a lot of years left to figure it out and I'm in no hurry. I guess I feel like there's this baby-club or something... when my co-workers start talking to her about it and what they did when they were pregnant, I just tune it all out. I don't know what they're talking about and I don't especially care and I don't want to hear the gross stuff, so I just shut up and usually go away. And I feel like when a married couple actively tries to have a baby and does it, they must have their ducks in a row. They must have their lives all figured out, you know? I assumed by the time I got to be my age, I would have more of my life figured out. Sure, I just got married, which is awesome, but we're living in an apartment, paying off student loans, credit card debt from college, barely getting by some months. I love my husband and I know I have a pretty great life when you put it into perspective... I guess some people make it look easy.
Ugh... sorry for the rant, I just get this way sometimes. Especially during the bad months bill-wise. Thanks for listening.
Re: BM is having a boy! (plus some venting)
You might think I'm nuts but I know exactly what you mean, and I'm a mother myself already. I posted about a month ago that we had decided to start trying for another, but the day I went to get my BC out, I just couldn't do it.
I feel like we would be fine having a baby right now, but there are so many reasons that I second guess myself everytime I feel ready for it. I love Lincoln with all my heart, and worry about sharing my time with him, there's so many other things I'd like to do with our house that we could spend money on. Our home isn't really set up for a second child right now, with only 2 (smaaall) bedrooms. I'm not really in a position to stay home full time again like I did with Lincoln for his first 2 years, now I work 20 hours in the evenings a week, and I'm not really sure how I would get by without that extra cash.
However....knowing all this and being convinced that its not right for us to have another right now, I am still SO jealous when I see a pregnant woman, or a new mother, or a tiny baby. I miss being pregnant some days so much (I LOVED being pregnant) and I get stuck thinking we could swing having another, but soon enough I realize we need to wait.
You might feel like you are in the baby making age right now, but there is still plenty of time. Take it from someone who never really had a 'newly-wed time' since we were already parents to a 2 year old, cherish the time you and DH have together. When its the right time you will know, and you will make wonderful parents when you are ready. For now, enjoy your couple time, because once baby comes, you will never get back all the time that you have together now.
The funny thing about getting married is that as soon as you get married, you start feeling pressure to reproduce. I felt this pressure from DH's family even though DH is comfortable waiting and enjoying life together for a few years. The baby club is in your head to a certain degree. Enjoy being a friend and living a pregnancy through her eyes, but enjoy your marriage as it is now and be thankful that you aren't pregnant just yet. You might even learn a few things to better prepare you for the day you get pregnant.
Completely random, but I was stalking a photographer's website and he had a picture of his wife after she'd just delivered their child. He had the nerve to take pics of her laying in bed...but she worked it and it was so hot. Made me wonder if I could pull of that sexy vibe even after delivering a baby. That's something I can hope for when I do get pregnant.
Oh good, I'm not the only one!
I know it's just in my head, and I won't cave into the pressure! hahaha... I haven't gotten pressure from family yet, so that helps. Once that starts, look out, I might have to punch some people. 
I guess everyone is different and I just keep seeing the same thing over and over (friends having babies) so I have to remind myself, no, not everybody has to do it!
This would be the last thing on my mind after delivering a baby.
I know that feeling. Before the wedding my H and I were actively trying with fertility treatments and now that the wedding is over I really have no desire to try right now. I am working my butt off to pay off my credit cards and really want the next year to be just H and I so we can have fun. I think we will put trying on hold for at least the next 6-12 months again. I want a few ducks in a row and I want to be able to have some fun some more before I have a child. We both LOVE kids and I do hear my clock ticking but I do want to be a little more set financially and emotionally before we have a child in the mix.
My BM just told me she was pregnant yesterday (about 4 months along) and for once I wasn't horribly hurt by it. I know that also tells me that I am not in the place where my heart is fully into trying for a baby again. Othertimes when I was really trying it really hurt when friends got pregnant and I wasn't.
I have also been an outsider on the whole baby club thing. Don't get me wrong, I love kids and I think I would love being a mom, but I've never been a "baby" person. I've always felt like something's wrong with me cause I don't automatically start squealing and talking in a high pitched voice whenever a random baby enters the room. I don't jump up and down wanting to hold it. I admitted this to my mom a couple months ago and she told me she was the same way until one day something "switched on" in her and she was ready to have a baby. I have no idea if I will be the same way or not, but it sure hasn't happened yet, and we aren't ready (emotionally or financially) anyway!
My very best friend (we're both only children) had her baby in July. I knew it would change things between us and I was prepared for that, but I miss her so much! I knew as soon as she had her baby she would be "gone", although I was somewhat wrong. She was still herself until about 8 weeks after his birth and then I "lost" her. I think that is one of the main reasons why I don't want to have a baby yet. I am scared to death of "losing" myself like that. She has a dead end job, husband just got laid off, they own a tiny crappy house... and I just don't want my life to end up like that- I don't want my kids to be the ONLY thing that I love in my life. Of course I will love my kids to death, but I don't want my life to fall apart when they grow up. Like you said, I want our ducks to be lined up in a row before we even go down that road. Luckily H has his dream job, although he is still working on completing his undergrad degree (he had some emotional issues and dropped out of college for awhile), but we also are renting and I'm going through a career change. I'd like to get that mess figured out before we bring a new life into this world. You are not alone in the way you feel, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to have a stable lifestyle before you start trying for a baby.