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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How many Christmases do you have to attend?
Not only has this economy put a damper on our holiday, but also the fact that we have to attend 4 Christmases this year to appease 4 divorced parents. Anyone else have to spread themselves thin with visits?!
Last year we had everyone over at our place and since our families were newly in-lawed it was really awkward. His mom had/has expectations of being BFF's with my mom (who has no desire for that) and our dads are still super bitter about their divorces even though they've all been divorced over 7 years/10 years. So this year, we have to do 4 to please everyone (else).
Ugh. Does this ever get better?!
Re: How many Christmases do you have to attend?
I guess we're going the other way....we've always done 4 Christmases! But soon we won't. Christmas eve is my dad's side and then DH dad's side. And Christmas day is my mom's side and his mom's side. I guess with big Italian families there's no way to get everyone at our house. Pretty soon it will have to be narrowed down.....we can't have our 3rd cousin's sister's son-in-law there.
But I guess we're so used to it being so many people (at least 25 people at each party) so having to limit it to just immediate family will be weird. But it will have to be done in the future....otherwise we might need to rent a banquet hall to host Christmas
Last year we did 7 christmases. We had to be 3 places on xmas eve, it felt like we were in the car most of the night! On christmas day, we had to be at 4 places. And then because we were so busy with extended family we did our own Christmas the day after at our home.
After last year we decided that we just can't be everywhere. This year we will only be at 2 places xmas eve (his family), still 3 places xmas day(xmas morning at each of our parents houses--but they live close to each other--then xmas day with my family) It still sounds like a lot, but it will be MUCH better than last year. I'm a little bummed that this will be the first year that I miss Xmas eve with my extended family though. Oh well, that's married life I guess, all about the compromise!
We are putting our foot down this year. All families involved know that we will spend Christmas morning at our place and then do one house Christmas night. Because of this my family has opted to celebrate Christmas in January. Last year we were in so many places we didn't really feel like it was the holidays. I don't want to repeat that. A lot of people got their feelings hurt.. but I just couldn't do it this year. I'm thinking ahead for when we have kids too. It may be selfish but I don't want to be dragging them around from place to place.
It's about time your butt started posting on here lady! Thank god you facebook update or I'd never hear from you
Aww, Lori...I miss you too!
I loved your post on "Has the economy changed your baby making plans"...I actually have been pondering that myself!
I guess I am just a little dismayed lately and wanted to see if anyone else is feeling the stress of the holidays (oh, and the economy...let's not forget about that major stress-maker).
Things with DH are awesome and my business is growing but everything else is just poopy!
Yeah we have at least 4 Christmases to attend every year. Theres my dad's side, then my mom's side, then my mom's partner's side, then my husband's family (thank god they're not divorced too) - but sometimes my mom's parents do like 2 different Christmas celebrations (don't ask!) - It's just a mess.
This is our first "married" Christmas, so I couldn't figure it all out this year, but thankfully our families get along really well (including my mom and dad which is nice) and so I think I'm going to try to create some sort of new holiday tradition - we'll see how that goes! haha wish me luck! Until I figure that out we'll be running around like crazy people.
Yes, that lovely economy! Joe just started working again, making less, but it's a job that has potential and he's happy, so I'm happy! We decided to put any baby plans on hold till the end of summer next year. Need some time to pay off things and build up a savings again. And I wanted another summer to drink
Glad the business is going well but yes, it's sad that this economy will become the "norm"
I found our combined post-nuptials Xmas last year did not work well for some of the people involved (as I partially mentioned in my original post.)
We hosted the Moms on Xmas Eve with our siblings, and then the Dads on Xmas day with our siblings.
There were a slew of issues IMO, for one, My mom was a little selfish about the whole thing and felt shafted as she is usually the hostess with the mostest. She also complained that I was not prepared enough and my house was not clean enough. (Mind you, DH had back surgery the day before Xmas and we literally got home from the hospital 2 hours before our families arrived).
My sister also complained, saying "they are YOUR in-laws, NOT MINE...why do I have to spend the holidays with them?" and my brother just didn't even bother flying home. And yes, they are all adults. Even though they don't always act like it!
Another thing that was a bit awkward was that my father got us huge, pricey gifts (MacBook Pros) while DH's dad got us "coins from our birth years" as he is/was unemployed. And then our siblings did not get stuff for each other, so there was a whole imbalance of gifts thing going on. I could care less about gifts--I really just wanted to be around my family, but it was just weird.
I am hoping that the 4 Xmases this year and just a lot of hanging out with family and eating food will be more fun than last year's chaos. I heard my brother might even be in town for my mom's thing too. That would be nice.
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And Lori-I hear ya on the save money before baby time. But I figure we will never really be "ahead" so waiting until we are would put having children into our 40's or later! So yeah, still not sure what we'll do (or not do) come early 2010. You know I'll keep you posted if my status changes though.
I guess this is one reason to be happy that all of our family lives out of state. My family is in Wisconsin/Minnesota- over 6 hours away. DH's family is in Michigan- 3 hours away. DH's parents are split but when we visit, we stay with MIL and tend to only see FIL for either lunch or dinner one of the days we are visiting. It is not possible to do both my 'rents and Dh's for the same holiday. So we alternate. I thought last year might be rough since it was the first one with a baby and I wasn't sure if the grandparents could handle "missing" the first [insert holiday here] but everyone handled it amazingly well.
Now if I could get DH on board with us hosting in Chicago and making everyone come here so we didn't have to travel . . .
Crap, I never answered your post!
My brother is coming down from Minneapolis with his family so we are going up to Milwaukee this Saturday do to x-mas with my family. Then x-mas eve, the hubs & I are going to dinner on our own since he has to work till 6. X-mas day, we are going to the in-laws. I'm actually thankful my brother comes down the week before x-mas and makes my side have it a week sooner. Otherwise, trying to have x-mas eve in Milwaukee and x-mas in Chicago would suck!
We did 4 this year which was actually pretty draining . . . next year I'm hoping to do the holiday with just the two of us, I swear I need two years off before I can do this again!
I'm just burned out and want quiet time at home . . . doing too much definitely cut into how much we enjoyed it.
The worst was when I was dating a guy in college who had divorced parents and a close extended family and we had 7 Christmases! Makes 4 seem very tame in comparison.