Is it so wrong...

Leigha12

to want to have a party and not have unruly dogs running around? We're planning on crating our own pup during our party tomorrow night because he can't handle the stress of all the people yet, but a couple of friends who are staying the night decided to (uninvited) bring their dog with them. He's not the best behaved dog, either, but I especially hate the idea of one dog being crated and another running free. Was it wrong of me to ask her to crate her dog while ours is crated?

Kellybeth124

Your house, your choice IMO. Especially if they're bringing the dog uninvited. Seriously, who does that?

mamie329

If I was a guest, I'd be nervous. I get anxious around jumpy, licky and/or big dogs. If the dogs meet any of these criteria, I wouldn't feel at ease.

Leigha12

The same person who tells your videographer you requested changes when you didn't and tells your other bridesmaids you asked for specific food, drink, etc. at your bach party when you didn't.

ETA: This was in answer to KB's rhetorical question.

Kellybeth124

What a weirdo. I might have to lose their address the next to invites got sent out.

Leigha12

I wish. DH and her FI are best friends. Sigh. She and I were close until the above-mentioned wedding related events. Since then I've distanced myself, but they're a package deal.

chrissyvcm

When we have parties, there is usually at least one person who brings a pooch for Chazzy to play with. We throw them in the back yard and  call it a day. It works quite nicely. Though, if you've decided that yours will be crated during the party, tell her that hers absolutely will be too or she can leave him home. It's a party, not a dog-sitting service.

odiered

chrissyvcm:

if you've decided that yours will be crated during the party, tell her that hers absolutely will be too or she can leave him home. It's a party, not a dog-sitting service.

I agree with this wholeheartedly!

Leigha12

chrissyvcm:

When we have parties, there is usually at least one person who brings a pooch for Chazzy to play with. We throw them in the back yard and  call it a day. It works quite nicely. Though, if you've decided that yours will be crated during the party, tell her that hers absolutely will be too or she can leave him home. It's a party, not a dog-sitting service.

Chrissy, the crate is actually a contingency plan in the event of rain. It's supposed to rain this evening and all day tomorrow, and we can't leave them outside in the mud.  Our little guy has had too many baths due to mud recently and is suffering from dry skin. *insert eye roll here*

chrissyvcm

Apart from this week, we never get any rain, so that's not an issue for us. In your case, I'd crate him too... especially since he's still so young. What did you say to your "friend" when she told you she was bringing her pup?

Leigha12

Nothing at first. She told us via the evite. But then their plans changed and they weren't going to stay the night, so it was a moot point.  But they changed back and will be staying the night, so as soon as she texted me that, I told her the crate plan. No response as of yet.

ETA: just got a one word response:  "yeah" to the question as to whether she was ok with the plan.  I have a feeling she doesn't mean it...ha!

mofe

I don't think it's wrong at all...it was pretty rude of her to bring her dog without asking. 

Leigha12

I'm actually really annoyed but DH won't let me say anything.  If it was just my pup, we could possibly let him loose if he decided he was having a good day, but he and this other dog get really unruly together and have to be monitored when they play, and I can't deal with that while hosting, and don't want the other guests to be bombarded by play fighting dogs.  I also know that the majority of our guests want to meet our pup because they haven't yet and adding another dog to the mix will make our guy act nutso.

chrissyvcm

Can you just tell her that they're more than welcome to stay over but it would be easier if they could find a dogsitter for the night. That you don't like the idea of having to crate both dogs for the party, and would prefer not to if you don't have to. If I were your friend, I wouldn't be offended by that at all.

Leigha12

chrissyvcm:

Can you just tell her that they're more than welcome to stay over but it would be easier if they could find a dogsitter for the night. That you don't like the idea of having to crate both dogs for the party, and would prefer not to if you don't have to. If I were your friend, I wouldn't be offended by that at all.

You wouldn't because you're rational. She's kind of a spoiled bebe. She'd get offended and not come. Which would be fine, but then DH would be upset his best friend isn't coming and I'd end up the bad guy. 

mamie329

Ooh ooh!! I REMEMBER THIS FRIEND!

hawkilady

If they couldnt go outside, I would have said no to begin with.  It seriously irritates me when people think they can bring their dog with them to my house.  Just because I have dogs does not mean that I need your dog running around my house and messing things up and jumping on everybody.  If I was crating my own dog (we usually leave them outside, but if its bad weather they have to be inside, we only have 1 crate and the dog would howl constantly if he was locked up in it, and they would destroy my bedroom if we locked them in there) no way would hers be running free in my house.  If she can't get that, kennel the dog or dont come.  Can your H say something to his friend?

stjoespirit04

hawkilady:

Can your H say something to his friend?

This. 

Leigha12

stjoespirit04:

hawkilady:

Can your H say something to his friend?

This. 

No, he won't. He disagrees with me on the entire subject other than the initial reaction that they should have asked first. I married Mr. Don't Rock the Boat.

hawkilady

Leigha12:

stjoespirit04:

hawkilady:

Can your H say something to his friend?

This. 

No, he won't. He disagrees with me on the entire subject other than the initial reaction that they should have asked first. I married Mr. Don't Rock the Boat.

Ugh... this would drive me crazy.  My DH thinks its no big deal to bring the dogs places without asking - the only place he gets away with it is his parents or I tell him he can take me or the dogs cause I'm not showing up with pets uninvited. 

keb270

As a non-dog loving person, I have to admit that this was annoy me to death. I don't like to to have slobber on me, be jumped on, or have to be near smelly dogs. My parents have dogs so I can tolerate them, but in general, I would rather not have them at a party. I imagine you will have other guests that feel this way. I would 100% put the dog in a crate, separate room, etc

Leigha12

Actually, I think every one of our guests is a dog owner, lol. (yet only one is bringing theirs uninvited...) That being said, even I don't like stranger's dogs jumping on me, etc. Ours being a pup, he is a jumper and a nibbler, so he's a definite party no-no.

I just talked to DH and he doesn't want to ask them not to bring their dog, but he does understand how strongly I feel about having 1 dog crated in a house while another runs free, so he is definitely supporting me on this, which is all I ask.  But we're both praying for no rain so it's a moot point and the dogs can run wild outside.

stjoespirit04

Leigha12:

Actually, I think every one of our guests is a dog owner, lol. (yet only one is bringing theirs uninvited...) That being said, even I don't like stranger's dogs jumping on me, etc.

I hate going back to wedding etiquette (cuz Lord knows, I am SO OVER everything wedding related) but this is basically the same as someone inviting their kid to your non-kid wedding. Why is it fair for everyone else to have to find alternate arrangements for their pets, but not this particular couple?  I'd be pissed if I paid someone to watch my dog, or made arrangements to have someone babysit it, only to get to the house and know that John and Sue got to bring their dog regardless of whether or not they were sleeping over.

Besides the fact that this is YOUR home, and YOU get to make the decisions about who and what gets to stay there - not this couple. Yes, this is your H's best friend, but he needs to tell them it's not fair to everyone else. If they didn't come because of that, I'd say they were pretty crappy friends.

Leigha12

I agree with you 100% but I'm not concerned about our other guests' reactions. I truly don't think they'll be upset, and all have pets who can be alone long enough to not need a sitter (no one else is sleeping over).  The rest of our friends aren't the type to see a Christmas party as a doggy play date. They're the kind that schedule those.  The ones bringing their dog have been bringing him with them to visit us since they got him (so before we had ours but they'd always asked before). I think they thought we'd love it because they can play together, not realizing that we can't have them playing together indoors during a party.

ChooGirl

I would be fuming. It happened to me a few years ago and just reading your story made my blood boil all over again.

For the past 9 years we have hosted NYE at our apartment in NYC. Every year, Alex's three college roommates (plus spouses!) crowd in and stay with us in our 1100 sq ft one bedroom apartment. I complain about it every year since I do that majority of the cooking/cleaning while they just "catch up," but last year was the last straw.

One of Alex's roommates showed up with his TWO dogs in tow, without informing either one of us that he was bringing them. I lost my sh!t and cried in the bathroom for over an hour before Alex even noticed I was freakingthefuck out. We don't have any animals so our apartment isn't exactly dog-proof. I'm sure every one thinks I'm a raging biatch, but I think they are a bunch of inconsiderate, impolite a$$holes. And like your husband, Alex loves to avoid conflict. Worst NYE ever.

This year we're going to the Caribbean with MY friends. I threatened divorce if we hosted another college roommate NYE party before moving to a bigger place. 

I'm so sorry people SUCK. 

Leigha12

I suddenly realized that this guest doesn't "have to" bring their pet. Her FFIL is staying at their house right now.  I'm hopeful she'll realize this and not bring the pet after all.

ETA: Geez, Choo, that is way worse! At least I had advanced notice!

ChooGirl

Leigha12:

I suddenly realized that this guest doesn't "have to" bring their pet. Her FFIL is staying at their house right now.  I'm hopeful she'll realize this and not bring the pet after all.

ETA: Geez, Choo, that is way worse! At least I had advanced notice!

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

And yes, it blew. Hardcore. I deserve this NYE vaca!