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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
When I nurse him to sleep, why can't he just stay asleep?
So I went out with Austin today and didn't get home until 4pm and he was overtired so he wouldn't go down for a nap, so I decided to just get him up and start the bedtime routine, which always ends with me nursing him before putting him down....I let him nurse as long as he wanted to and he completely fell asleep - so then I went to burp him (because he always has burps) and he was still totally zonked out even while I was patting his back - I couldn't get a burp up, so I decided to put him down....as soon as I put him down in the bassinet, his eyes popped wide open...WTH? Seriously...here I was moving him all around and even patting his back all propped up and he had to wake up when I put him down? He started sucking his hand and I swaddled him and now he's up there fussing.....only my kid....
Re: When I nurse him to sleep, why can't he just stay asleep?
I wish I had tried to break Ben of the nursing to sleep habit a lot sooner. In my defense, he ALWAYS just fell asleep when nursing. We used to have to undress him and do all these suggestions from the LC to get him to wake to eat.
Anyway, he has never broken that habit and usually has a hard time falling asleep on his own. When I asked about this on the baby boards, I got 2 very different sets of advice. From the "attachment parenting" crowd they told me there was nothing wrong with continuing to nurse to sleep, it's a great thing etc... From the other posters, they heavily advised trying to get him to sleep on his own.
As Heather said, Austin is relying on you as a sleep tool. Ben is doing the same to me. Lately, I have been nursing him and then when he falls asleep, I wake him up and read to him and then put him down drowsy. It was going well until we were vacationing in different time zones and the teething and being in hotels thing is not easy. So I have backed off that and will get more hardcore when I get home. He needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own soon, as I plan to wean at a year and he will not be going to bed with a bottle.
Just something for you to think about...
Also, I only shared this with you because I asked about nursing to sleep on here and you had responded that you were curious as to what others to say.
You are SO right- there are so many different parenting techniques. My head was spinning when I asked about CIO and nursing to sleep on the baby boards- it's so hard deciding what is best for your baby!!
I'm glad he slept for you! I did not mean to criticize you, so I hope you didn't take it that way, that was my reaction to your post. Everyone does parent differently and there's really no better way to do things than another considering every child is different.
And that's my "The More You Know" moment. Cue rainbow.
LOL!! Oh no, I didn't think that at all, Heather - I totally understand where you are coming from....bedtime is actually the only time I'll let Austin nurse to sleep - or if he is terribly overtired and needs a nap....otherwise I nurse him when he first wakes up and usually only read him a story and sing him his nap time song when I put him down for his nap - as soon as I start singing him his song, he sticks his hand in his mouth and starts sucking on that
He's slowly getting the hang of putting himself to sleep....plus - he's always has his eyes wide open when I put him down - he's never been zonked out, because he wakes up at a pin drop, I swear
Lisa, I did not mean to say that you shouldn't let Austin CIO...if you feel that is what he needs to be doing then go with it. I just know how much of a hard time you have been having with his naps / sleeping routine so I thought I would just share what was said at the mom's group today. I don't think I could let Kaelyn CIO if I had to....but for us nightime sleeping has never been an issue for us as she will sleep 12+ hours. Naps on the other hand are really do not happen. She is more of a cat napper, which doesn't bother me as that is what I always did when I was young.
I think Jeannette had a great point in that when BFing is over he is going to have to learn how to fall asleep on his own and you want to try the best you can to start that pattern now. I too have to sometimes wake Kaelyn up when she is done eating and we read a book then say our prayers and then she goes into her crib.
He usually does fall asleep on his own, thank goodness - I really don't want to nurse him to sleep either, because Tom certainly isn't lactating and he needs to be able to put him down for bed/nap when I am not here
Thanks for letting me know what they said at moms group - the only time I have let Austin cry for a period of time, is when I know he needs to sleep and is clearly tired and sleep at that point in time is the best thing for him...usually it's with naps - bedtime *crossing my fingers* he has always been awesome at...