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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Others think I'm a big meany.
If you are Santa sensitive please take a warning you may not want to read this. Ok I will not tell my kids about Santa or toothfairy or and of that crap. I need and want my kids to trust everything I say and not find out I make crap up for the fun of it. But christmas is still a bast for us and the kids almost 4 and 2 know the gifts are from us and that they get a big surprise every christmas because of Jesus' birthday ( we aren't that religous but at least I feel this is my truth). But santa is a christmas decoration like the tree not a person. When other parents ask me about it I always just laugh and say we want the credit for the gifts so we don't do santa because I don't want to make them feel bad about their choice to raise their kids their way. Then some ask what I will tell my kids to make sure they don't tell kids at school when they go. I don't feel it is my or my kids job to keep up a lie someone wants to tell their kids. I will tell them that some people tell their kids that santa is real because they think it is fun for the kids to believe it even though kids just care about the gifts and wouldn't care how they get there. But my sil thinks I am a meany who's kids will ruin christmas for others. I don't think not have santa bring the gifts will ruin anything and if so I feel bad for them but I am not going to worry about what everyone elses kids know or don't know. I guess I am mean but my kids have the best christmas and they love us for it and I never have to have my kids doubt me or what I say to be the truth. Vent over.
Re: Others think I'm a big meany.
I think for some parents Santa is a very convenient "out" for the pressure of spending lots of money on presents.
"Mum can I get a...."
"Well you'll just have to see what Santa brings"
I personally think you're over thinking Santa...there's a very short time in your life when you absolutely believe in magic.
I never doubted the trust I had in my parents once I found out about Santa and the tooth-fairy and the easter bunny.
Are you only going to read your children stories that are grounded in fact or at least possible reality? No "Jack in the Beanstalk", "Cinderella" or "Litte Red Riding Hood" for your children??
To each their own, I don't think you need to be worried about the other kids.
The other day, I asked my mom when I stopped believing in Santa and how much I really beleived in him to begin with. She said that Dad and her never really made a point of who Santa was or anything; I just learned that from the kids I was around (school and family), TV, and books. She never had to tell my sister nor I that Santa wasn't real; we just sort-of stopped believing. We didn't make a big deal of out of it.
When H and I have kids, we aren't going to make a big deal of Santa. While we aren't overly religious by any means, we are going to make sure our future children know that Jesus is the reason for Christmas. We'll probably label some gifts from Santa, but I highly doubt that we'll go to the mall for a photo shoot with Santa.
yeah I wouldn't tell them to be good so they get presents because I want my kids to be good all the time, not just for a reward.
I'm pretty sure my parents would have lied to me about all sorts of stuff when I was a kid. I'm totally ok with that. I think my parents are great.
Like I said, to each their own. Have a Merry Christmas.
I'm going to assume you spent your school years running the chess club and wearing substantial orthodontic headwear.
ITA. I hate hearing parents at the store yelling at their kids that Santa won't come if they don't quit yelling/running/hitting/whatever. That's just crappy parenting.
You don't have to make a huge deal about it. All Santa brought my sister and I was our stocking (regardless of if we were good or rotten, obviously lol).
My main problem with this argument is this- do you know any kids who honestly, in the absence of other issues, stopped trusting their parents when they found out Santa isn't real? No. They're just pissed cause they think the presents will stop.
But... whatever makes you happy
Wedding/Honeymoon Pictures
My folks always told me that "Santa" was just something fun people do. I never believed in him.
I have no memories of it ever coming up with my friends. We did stockings and all; I just assumed everyone was just playing along like I was.
I do not feel deprived by it in the slightest (actually I'm a total Christmas junkie, as are my parents) and I will at least consider doing the same with my kids. (It depends on how much DH cares about it.)
I think it's silly that people feel inclined to judge this particular parenting decision. Threaten to put coal in their stockings. : )
This is exactly what I am talking about...I am crazy over christmas and it is the best at our house with no santa so why does anyone care. So many more people don't have Jesus as any part of the holiday (probably more people do Santa and no Jesus) and that seems ok but god don't take away Santa......Like I said I am not religious. I feel it is pointless and let the parents call me. It is not my job to keep up with their lies. I told a woman we don't do the santa thing in front of her kid. I thought that was good wording since her 2yr old was there. It isn't like I say "Mack knows that santa isn't real in front of a kid.
You are incredibly rude. Santa, comes from Saint Nicholas, which many Christians do believe in. So Santa may not be real to you but he is to many of us. Please don't let your children ruin it for the rest of ours.
snort.
I don't think anyone ever stopped trusting their parents when they found out there wasn't a Santa Claus, or Easter Bunny, or Toothfairy. Whether you choose to support a Santa/Jesus/Etc. is your choice, however I would encourage you to not let your kids spill the beans at school. While it isn't your "job" to support other parents' "lies" it is also not your kids jobs to break the bad news to their friends that Santa ain't coming. I'm an athiest, but I don't go around telling people I think there's no God. It is their choice to believe in whatever or whoever they want, who am I to try and take that away from them?
I remember very clearly the day I stopped believing in Santa. I wasn't angry at my parents, just very sad that a stage of my childhood was over. That age where you believe anything is possible, that doesn't last very long.
We grew up with the Santa Claus version. It was magical, and fun. It did not even put a small dent in our trust of parents. I raised my daughter on the Santa theory-no problem when she figured it out.
Only problem I foresee with your kids is that sooner or later they are going to spill the beans to classmates before the other kid's parents want. Even if you tell them not to.
You are going to have some angry parents at you for sure!
Maybe its because you refer to it all as "crap." I can imagine the attitude you have about this, and thats probably what people are responding to.
Its fine to not do those things with your kids, but it sounds like you judge those who do.
I agree that you attitude towards all of it seems to be causing additional problems.
IMO, the world was a little less cynical when people let their children enjoy the magic that is santa clause.
I think you need to read "Yes, Virginia" and think about it less as a lie and more as a tradition. Not saying that you have to participate in Santa Claus visiting your children... But like PP said... Think about YOUR attitude about it.
I agree with Pandi, you are going to have some issues with other parents in years to come, and if those relationships are important to you, you might think about how to encourage your kids not to be the heartbreaking news breakers at school.
Same here.
I remember the day my old boss came into work so upset that her 6 y/o came home from school with the truth about Santa. All those kids whose older brothers/sisters told them he isn't real shared it with him.
I don't care what you do with your traditions, but I do wonder how you expect 2-7 y/os to keep secrets like that. They simply aren't able to.
Even though I don't personally agree with you, the way you raise your children isn't my business. However, I think you should have enough respect for others to teach your children that others do believe and they should keep their thoughts on the subject to themselves.
You have freaky control issues.
And, yes, you are a big meany.
For the record, I stopped trusting my parents when I found out they were lying to me about Santa, et al. So yes, it does and can happen.
Our daughter never grew up believing in Santa. Some of the reasons we had were similar to the ones in the OP, but we had others as well she hasn't mentioned. However, our daughter was told in no uncertain terms that other kids may believe and she wasn't to ruin it for them. She learned that different families have different beliefs (not just about Santa) and she is to respect that fact. You know, golden rule and all.
Seriously? Wow...I might have stopped trusting my parents the day I found out I was adopted and they never told me, or the day I found out my younger sister was really kidnapped at Macy's because they couldn't have more children, or the day I found out that the "trust fund" I was banking on getting through college with never actually existed. But the day I learned that Santa and the Easter Bunny don't actually exist...THAT I cannot fathom.
REally, its a crap shoot.
There is a small chance a kid could stop trusting you over santa. But there i s also a small chance a kid could end up resenting you for not getting to believe.
Either could, theoretically, happen. Its up to the parents to decide which risk they want to take.
But, I still believe what I said before: I think your attitude is the problem, not the fact that you chose not to do santa.
I think your attitude going into this entire situation sucks, especially in regards to "keeping up their lies." Puhleeze...you sound like a pompass jackass.
Get over yourself, and step off your judgmental high horse.
And (because I find it funny now), for the record I stopped trusting my parents when my mom told my dad that I had gotten my period for the first time (I was extremely young). You never know what's going to happen, or what random event will break that trust.
Gah, mine did that too. I was young as well and already just absolutely horrified (seeing that I wasn't prepared) by the entire ordeal.
I was raised to believe in Santa, my parents went out of their way to convince me that he was real... I love it and loved Santa. But after I found out he wasn't real I still loved Christmas and stories about Santa.
That being said, my husband and I have decided to not lie to our future children. I value honesty and never want to be dishonest with our kids. So we are not going to teach them that Santa is real. We will still play Santa and watch movies with Santa in them. He is a great character, just like the Grinch. and I actually do know people who stopped trusting their parents after finding out Santa wasn't real.
This is just a difference in parenting styles.
As for what to do about other children. I would not encourage my child to lie to another child, but to always be truthful. However, in the spirit of not pushing my opinions/beliefs on others, I would encourage my children to attempt to avoid/ignore discussions about Santa all together.
Kids will remember it was your kid who ended the magic for them.
I don't think you need to have your kids believe, but the thought that it isn't your job to keep up the Santa story can really go wrong. I have pagan friends who do not do santa and they are so respectful of other religions. They know we all believe different things and would not tell others there is no santa. It just sounds from your post like your approach is to say it's all a lie and your kids will be the ones telling.
I teach 2nd grade, which is when about half of the kids find out or at least start questioning. The kid in class who starts telling other kids there is no santa is not appreciated by the teacher or the other kids.
My sister told me that her son's 3rd grade teacher decided to inform the class that Rudolph does not exist,, he was a marketing ploy by a department store years and years ago. Made her son angry and sad at the same time. Sad the there isn't a Rudolph,, mad at teacher for telling. Then the teacher decided that next week they are going to 'discuss other Christmas stories'...Sister posted about this on her Facebook.
Egad! I'm grabbing popcorn and watching the Facebook go wild already. From the comments so far-Teach is in alot of hot water w several parents in the same school. No names mentioned, but seems to be a mild lynch party forming already!