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VENT: Now I know what DH's problem is
I realized last night the reason why my husband sucks at things is not because he is lazy or because he is stupid... it's because he DOESN'T. PLAN. ANYTHING.
He only sees what's right in front of him and reacts. He never thinks about the future and preparing for it, not five years ahead, not five days ahead, not five minutes ahead.
Friday, J wanted to go to a football game. He didn't think about what to do with the baby, so he was going to bring her. Hello...how many times have I told him my mom doesn't work on Fridays? It poured rain on Friday and the baby would have gotten sick.
So Friday he's supposed to drop me off at the train station, take care of things at home and then drive down. He left the bird covered - which meant that she didn't eat the whole weekend and could die. (She was fine.) I left a warm outfit out for the baby and he ignored it. He flaked out on helping my sister Saturday with her garage door, so he had to do it Sunday. Sunday night we were going to a party and he couldn't give me a firm time that we would leave the house until I forced him to. I reminded him three times to get in the shower and he doesn't do it until it's time to leave. Then he can't find his undershirt and spends 40 minutes tearing everything up looking for it because he didn't pack properly. So now we're an hour late and he's in a bad mood.
Then last night, the baby is fussy, so I decide to feed her to help settle her before I go to bed as a nice gesture. This is his time to take care of her because I need to sleep so I can, you know, work. When the baby finishes eating, I realized an hour has passed and I don't know where he went. HE WENT TO BED. I was like, WTH? Am I supposed to do everything???? He realized I was mad and got up and took the baby with him. I just went to bed.
I am so mad I could spit. I am so ready to go home and scream at him. When we first started dating, one of the things I loved about him was that he said that he couldn't stand people who were inconsiderate of others... and due to his lack of an internal to-do list, he has become so inconsiderate of my needs, our needs, his own needs.
I swear to God...if he was as accomplished in life as he was on Farmville, we'd be millionaires. If I come home to him on the laptop "farming" - I will lose my ever lovin sh*t.
Re: VENT: Now I know what DH's problem is
stewpid dup post
Bwahahaha! In all seriousness that would put me over the edge too. DH can be that way, he's a terrible planner when it comes to anything other than his sports. Whenever I ask him future-related questions such as, oh, I don't know, when do you see us starting to TTC? He responds that he never thinks about that kind of stuff. Really?!? UGH. It drives me nuts because I need to have plans (in some fashion), whether it's for tomorrow or a year from now. I think for you the problem is just compounded because you have a lot going on (work, house-hunting, Sweetface). I hope for your sake J wasn't playing Farmville or anything of that nature.
Feel free to punch him if he was though.
Dude, what the heII is his problem? It seems like he thinks you're his mother instead of his wife and that he doesn't have to be a "team player" in the marriage because you'll fix everything.
I am a flake too, probably about 1/10 of his behavior, but sometimes I find myself getting lazy and depending on DH. What really helps is when he makes me deal with the consequences of my own actions. Could you do this with J? Just stop "saving him" (unless of course he's doing something to harm S or your pets.) I think sometimes people forget how to function on their own when they have a crutch all the time.
Sorry love, I am uber frustrated for you.
BOO! HISS! I hope for his sake that he wasn't farmin' when you got home. . . I hope he was juuuust finishing cleaning the apartment and making you a fabulous dinner (and pouring you a nice BIG drink), all while entertaining Sweetface, the bird, and Ginger by performing show tunes and/or singing Christmas songs.