New Hampshire Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Please Help
I need to find a new ob/gyn who will allow me to have an elective c-section. I'm really freaking out and having daily panic attacks about the thought of giving birth. I have no interest in it what so ever. I hate being pregnant and everythng that goes along with it. I think I should be able to chose the way that my baby comes out.
Thank you
Re: Please Help
Im sorry that you feel the way you do about your pregnancy. As PP said, every single one of us that has had a child (and probably those who havent can say the same) has the same fears about the whole childbirth experience. It is not fun, that is for sure, but for me it was not horrible. I hope that whatever happens for you, in the end, works out well.
I am not sure of any dr who will allow an elective c-section. Mostly because Insurances wont cover it unless it is medically necessary. The costs involved in a c-section are much greater then a vaginal delivery. I wish you luck on your search though. I hope you can find someone that will help you out!
Mellissa, I am really, really sorry that you hate being pregnant. Not every woman loves it. Unfortunately, I don't know how my ob's office would feel about what you're asking. You shouldn't have a c-section if you don't need it, medically speaking. And I don't even know if the hospital would allow that - if something went wrong, you could later sue, saying you didn't need to have it and they allowed you to. I have NO idea if this is true, but it wouldn't sound crazy to me if that's what their policy was. I know that you feel you should be allowed to have your baby the way you want to, but Nature didn't intend for c-sections (and thank God we have them, either I or my baby would have died without the option), and you can get through the process of labor and delivery. When you have no idea what you're facing, the idea of L&D can be so frightening - I know!! But when you're actually in the moment, in labor, it's just not that bad - and you get to have an epidural in most cases, which wasn't bad at ALL - and when you think of the outcome ... your baby, that you really want ... you know you can get through it. Having a c-section is no picnic either, let me tell you. I had a phenomenal experience but not everyone does - CrissyBoop can tell you the hell she went through w/ her c-section. I am sure she would have avoided all of that if she had the choice.
My advice is to talk to your current ob about your fears and sign up for childbirth classes - and know that you CAN DO THIS and you are probably going to have to. {{{hugs}}}
It's already been said, but I dont' know of anyone who would allow an elective c. It's the insurance (as well as medical reasons- until they have one, they want to avoid the possible complications).
Please believe that we ALL are anxious with our first (and some with consecutive). Talk to your OB. Bottom line is that if you are not confident in them, you need to find a new one. Just remember, this is not the 1600s. You do not have to go through this naturally, with no pain medication. I LOVED my epidural. You are stronger than you think, trust me.
I do agree with PP that maybe you should talk to someone about some anti-anxiety meds? It's bad for you to be this worked up, and baby too. Good luck.
Mellissa, I am sorry that being pg is so miserable for you. As PPs have said, I don't think there is a woman alive who hasn't been nervous & panicked at the thought of actually having to deliver their baby. However, if you are actually having daily panic attacks about the thought of it, that is something much more serious that needs to be discussed w/ your OB.
I don't know of any OBs who would do an elective c-section w/o some strong medicial reason. And if I did, I wouldn't recommend them b/c that is pretty unethical if you ask me. OBs should not do C-sections just b/c patients want them.
I hope that you are able to work through your anxiety & have a wonderful delivery (however it happens) & a healthy baby!
I don't want to repeat everything that has been said but I do want to give you some insight.
Having had a vaginal birth, I can tell you, it is an amazing experience. Sure, there is no part of it that is "enjoyable" or a "fabulous time" but it really is an amazing. Your body is capable of giving birth and with medication, it isn't all that bad. If your body isn't capable of giving birth in that method, it is up to a medical professional to make that decision. I'm not sure I can possibly understand why you would elect to have your stomach cut open and put yourself and your baby at those risks of complication?
For me, I am the complete opposite. Baby girl is breech and I will do everything humanly possibly to make her flip to AVOID a c-section. The healing time, the risks, the possibility of a problem arising makes it something that isn't any part of a birth plan that we want. *Of course, of course, if she doesn't flip or anything happens during labor that requires it, I will do whatever is best for our baby, IF my OB feels it is absolutely medically necessary.*
I also couldn't agree more that this is something you need to talk with your OB and your primary care doctor about. I had a horrible pregnancy with Payton but can't say I hated any of it. Sure it was uncomfortable and we both had a lot of problems, but I knew I was creating a life. This time around it hasn't been much better, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I do know you shouldn't be alone in what you are feeling and perhaps you need to think about discussing medication.
That statement is quite true...I think my and Mason's hospital bills came to around 26k...and Mason was a healthy baby no NICU or anything like that added in....plus the stay at the hospital is longer and will cost more that way.....
Huge hugs!! I too hated being pregnant and was completely petrified of a vaginal delivery - I was so hoping a baby would turn breech so I could have one. I was still asking for a c-section while pushing the second baby out. I was scared of pooping, tearing, getting stitched up down there, everything! But looking back on it now, I wouldn't change a thing. My recovery was so easy - I never took anything stronger than Motrin. I would encourage you to take a good childbirth class and talk to your ob - you can do it!
Mellissa - Let's get together and talk sometime, ok? You don't sound like yourself in this post, honey!!!
Having given birth to two children vaginally, I will tell you that it's really the easier way to go if you can. A c-section is major surgery - one of those things where you do it if you need to, but it is definitely the harder road and I don't think it's a good idea to choose to go down it (despite what a doctor might allow you to do)!
Childbirth is something that we are all nervous and apprehensive about going in - absolutely! It's a scary thing but your body is built to do it, you might not think so but you will be amazed!
sweetie! (((((HUGSE HUGS)))))
you know i hate being pg. it just sucks comepletly to me. Not the fact that im making another life, that part is awesome, but everything else...
i can honestly tell you how effing scared i am to give birth again and hey i had 2 kids with fast, easy labors! and im petrified! you know how fast i went with tony. and as hes comming out i was yelling for "something to numb me down there!" at the top of my lungs. but i can honestly say that your body just takes over. it knows what to do. i didnt have any classes or anything like that because i had already had vinny and i didnt have classes with him.
it is scarey. but your bodys adrenaline does so freaking much. and get that epidural!!!!! Literally they told me to "Stop laughing because you are laughing your baby out." vinny was comming out since i was laughing so much. who laughs while pushing baby out????? me and my epidural! i swore i would find the dr that invented it and make out with him!
both deliveries i only took motrin. both times i was petrified of tearing. and ya, it sucks, you dont feel it when youre in labor, its afterwards. but i healed so fast!
and look at me miss i hate being pg and im knocked up yet again....
if you ever need to talk, feel free to email me.... kimberlydon2005 at yahoo.com
anytime! and i would talk to your dr about it. you will be suprised how a few answers can calm your nerves.