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So depressing...

There seems to be a disproportionate number of unhealthy marriages where I work and it's really starting to become depressing. One individual married his wife after knowing her for only two months and they haven't matured enough to know how to communicate respectfully with each other.

Another is spending over $600 more than he makes every month and he and his wife fight on a regular basis over finances.  They are both incredibly irresponsible and she can't hold down a steady job.

There are a few other couples that fight often, disagree about how to maintain the household and spend money, and just don't seem to like each other very much (they insist they love each other, but don't get along).

Anyway, I just wish there were more healthy examples of marriage around me.  My husband and I put so much forethought and effort into our union before we tied the knot and it just saddens me to see so many miserable people every day.  I'm not really sure where I'm going with all of this, but I thought I'd vent a bit to you and see if you have any input or stories to share.

Re: So depressing...

  • Yeah, its difficult. Try to surround yourself with your friends that are happily married. My H and I hit a rough spot and went to marriage counseling...now we just go for "check-ins". We actually look forward to them now. LOL.
  • That really does suck, but sadly it is the culture of the military.  I saw more than my fair share of crappy marriages during my time in the Navy.  Some people I knew got married specifically to get more $$$$.  It's rather disgusting.
  • Yes, I absolutely agree with Ali...we have a very close friend marrying some Korean girl that he does not even (hardly) know...so that he can get an extra $4000 a month from the Army! Dirty B@STARD!!!!
  • I completely agree with both of you as far as it being the culture in the military.  When I was stationed in Japan, I can't tell you how many Marines decided to marry local Okinawan women for a number of reasons.  A lot of them could barely communicate with their spouses due to the language barrier and the difference in society norms made it hard for those girls to adapt to the U.S. once they had to move here.  I also know of some "contract marriages" and the like.  

    My husband and I do try to spend our time with couples we can relate to, but it's frustrating trying to find people in our general age group who are in the same place in their lives.  We're not planning on having kids until we're closer to 30 and most people I've come across in the military really don't understand that.  We get some criticism for wanting to travel, meet financial and educational goals, and establish our careers before we start settling down too much.

    Oh well, I'm sure we'll find some more like-minded individuals eventually, especially once we're back in a civilian work environment.

  • I know what your talking about. My DH and I don't surrond ourselves with those people either. My DH and I very hardly argue, and even when we do, it's over something stupid.

     

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