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Is this unreasonable?
Hey ladies!
Sorry it's been a while since I've been here... things have been a little busy since LO arrived in Sept!! I hope everyone is doing well!
We're having an issue with my family regarding the upcoming Christmas holidays. This is our first Christmas in our first home, and obviously our first Christmas with LO so DH and I really wanted to spend Christmas Day by ourselves. MIL is a single parent and DH is an only child so she usually spends Christmas with us because we're her only family really. Her brothers and sisters all spend the holidays with their respective families/spouses. So she's planning on coming over in the afternoon for dinner, and probably staying the night until Boxing Day.
As some of you all ready know, we've had issues with my parents almost for our whole relationship. My Mother is very judgemental and never really thought DH was good enough for me, blah blah blah. Well once I found out I was pregnant she of course wanted to "fix" things with him and proceeded to apologize for her behaviour.... but then turned around and essentially blamed the whole thing on me and told DH that I never informed her of what was going on and had she known she would've done something sooner... HA!! I told her numerous times what the problems were and she just denied it the whole time. Anyway, so needless to say things are civil between them but by no means are they perfect which I don't think they ever will be and that's fine. BUT my Mother thinks that they need to come up on Christmas Day also, and she doesn't understand why we want to be by ourselves. My brother and his GF are spending Christmas Eve and part of Christmas Day with my parents and then going to her house for the rest of the day and Boxing Day. So I said that my parents should come to our house on Boxing Day, the problem is my Mother doesn't think it's good enough and is jealous of the fact that MIL will be here for Christmas Day. *sigh*
I explained to her why we wanted to spend the day by ourselves, and that MIL isn't coming over until dinner and she's totally on her own so I can't imagine making someone spend Christmas by themselves just to please my Mother!! She's giving me the guilt trip, and telling me that I'm ruining their plans and they never get to see us on Christmas and the whole thing. Is it totally unreasonable for us to want to spend the day as a family alone??
Just needed to vent, and get some outside opinions! TIA!!
Re: Is this unreasonable?
I can understand why she would be jealous but at the same time I don't think you are being unreasonable. You suggested a compromise that I think is appropriate.
Do what you want to and don't let her guilt you into changing your mind. Oh and don't let her ruin your Christmas!