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NO words can describe my upset right now.... long!!

What a week from hell. As of last friday we had been told that the owners had accepted our offer and we were just waiting for the go ahead from the bank. Not a problem right!! Wrong. We did not hear anything from the listing agent until Tuesday at 4:45. They were offering us three different options as counters. We countered with something that was not too big of a difference. The listing agent said she didnt think that was a problem and she was call us back by 9 am on wednesday. So at the agents urging that we were all set, we called and set up a home inspection for Friday at 4. My agent, Cherylann tried calling her all day yesterday and she never returned the calls. She called her this morning at 10am and the listing agent said oh yeah I got word from the bank last night that everything was all set and that she would have a definite word to us by noon. Well noon came and went.. we had a scheduled meeting with our mortgage lender to go over more finalizing items tonight at 5. We werent sure if we would have to cancel with him cause by 4:30 Cherylann still had not heard back from the listing agent and again she wasnt returning calls.

In the mean time I had called Fidelity to get everything in place to cash out part of my retirement to use for the down payment. They tell me that I cannot take the money out and just pay taxes on it!! I have to take it out as a loan to myself and make repayment every month like any other loan. This was not what they had told me last month. There is no way we can afford the mortgage (which will be more than our rent by a bit) and a loan payment!! So we really have little money towards our closing and final costs. I am beside myself. I thought the down payment was all set. Besides the whole loan issue, I had been told that I could take out one amount last month and today the figure I was told was half of what the guy told me last month. So not only will I not be able to get the money out the way we were supposed to, but it will be half of what I was expecting!!!!! If I can take it out!!!

So I got no answer from my HR department if they could fix this. They were going to look into it and call me back in an hour. I left the office 5 hours later still not having heard anything.... Noticing a trend of failure to call??? So I go home and the mortgage man comes over. He goes over what we would need for closing, our up front costs, ect. The last person who we had for a possible lender had not explained this well so here we are thinking we needed only put out 1% in total but that isnt the case!! We have a lot more to pay out. I am getting freaked. So then Cherylann calls. She had heard from the listing agent. The bank had changed what they wanted. They wanted to give less cash towards closing, plus they wanted a $2000 deposit on top of the $500 they already would get!!! We do not have that much cash!! So we sat with our lender and Cherylann on speaker phone and tried to work this out. We countered and gave them until tomorrow at 5 to give us a definite answer. We are losing our apartment in 5 weeks!!! We cant continue this. So as of last night we had the house...... as of tonight we dont know. Robbie is so discouraged. I am so upset. We had to cancel the home inpsection, everything, until we know what is going on!! I am so upset!!!

Re: NO words can describe my upset right now.... long!!

  • omg kim!

    thats beyond not fair! hang in there!!!!!  im sending house dust your way and also stress free dust!  you guys have been through so freaking much!  you deserve a break!  youre good people, it will happen for you guys!  i just dont know why the hell you always have to be the one with the drama!  its not fair to you guys!!!!!

    (((((((hugs))))))))

  • I can't imagine how stressful this must be for you. It seems like you have to jump through a ton of hoops to own a house these days. My two coworkers went through a similar hassle (to say the least) and after all is said and done, they are both in their respected houses. I hope the same happens for you. Good luck.
  • I'm sorry you are going through this and cannot imagine how stressed you must be...just trust that things will work out one way or another...

    As far as I know any type of IRA or Roth IRA or 401K always has to be paid back, I've never known any different.....hang in there! 

  • Wow Kim! I am so sorry that you guys are going thru all of this.  It sounds like a big messed up PITA!! I hope everything works out for you though.  I will keep you guys in my thoughts!
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  • How awful!!   I can't believe that they won't let you take the loan out of your 401k.  There are different types of loans you can take out.  One in particular is called a Hardship loan.  And I KNOW that you can take a hardship withdrawal when it involves buying a residence.  This type of loan you do not pay back.  Check out : http://guideto401khardships.com/ for more information! 

    GL!  I hope everything works out for you!!

  • Oh Kim, I'm so sorry. We kind of ran into stuff like this too. We were going to take a hardship loan (or something like that) for our house too. But all the paperwork was messed up. So it got denied. We took out a personal loan, it was the same amount of interest and it went through no problem. But yes, 401Ks you have to pay back. But you're paying yourself back. And you can only take out what you put in. So in Will's case, his company matches 100% of what he puts in. So he can only take out half of the money in there, since the other half is his company's money.

    We also didn't know that you couldn't roll in closing costs into the mortgage on a first home. We were planning on doing that, but then we found out we couldn't and had to go the 401K route.

    I know this totally sucks. If you need ANYTHING, let me know, I am here for you! And I will just hang on to the washer and dryer, because I know you will end up needing them sometime soon. Big Smile 

  • Oh Kim, I'm so sorry. We kind of ran into stuff like this too. We were going to take a hardship loan (or something like that) for our house too. But all the paperwork was messed up. So it got denied. We took out a personal loan, it was the same amount of interest and it went through no problem. But yes, 401Ks you have to pay back. But you're paying yourself back. And you can only take out what you put in. So in Will's case, his company matches 100% of what he puts in. So he can only take out half of the money in there, since the other half is his company's money.

    We also didn't know that you couldn't roll in closing costs into the mortgage on a first home. We were planning on doing that, but then we found out we couldn't and had to go the 401K route.

    I know this totally sucks. If you need ANYTHING, let me know, I am here for you! And I will just hang on to the washer and dryer, because I know you will end up needing them sometime soon. Big Smile 

  • It isnt a 401K or an IRA it is a 504B or something like that.  LOL  And today i was told it was loan to start or nothing.
  • hmmmm...... do you mean a 403B??  A 504B is a something totally different.  Anyway for a 403B you CAN withdraw for financial hardship for buying a home!  The only stipulation is that it is your primary residence, which it sounds like it will be. 

    But you can only withdraw what you need plus whatever taxes are involved and (here is the bad news) it is taxable as income and there may be a 10% fed penalty tax.

    I am so sorry that you and your family have been through a horrible roller coaster ride with this!!  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that this gets resolved quickly and that you end up in your home! 

  • imagesassylassy:

    hmmmm...... do you mean a 403B??  A 504B is a something totally different.  Anyway for a 403B you CAN withdraw for financial hardship for buying a home!  The only stipulation is that it is your primary residence, which it sounds like it will be. 

    But you can only withdraw what you need plus whatever taxes are involved and (here is the bad news) it is taxable as income and there may be a 10% fed penalty tax.

    I am so sorry that you and your family have been through a horrible roller coaster ride with this!!  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that this gets resolved quickly and that you end up in your home! 

     It is whatever is the non profit version of a 401K,  and I was told that according to Fidelity that they require you to take out a loan before they will do the direct distibution.  The minimum loan is $1000 and only once you have taken out the loan will they then give you access to the rest of the money as a hardship and that is what you can take out without paying back and that is taxed.  I just want to take it out without the loan and get taxed!!!!  This is so frustrating.  I just want to stop giving them money and put it in a mattress!  seriously it is my money!

  • I'm so sorry I hope everything works out ok.
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